Wednesday, May 17, 2006

I WILL Survive!

Dammit...

Yeah I got the keys to my house back, his stuff are out of my closet, hell I am free again! But dammit, you know how it is when you had a relationship with someone and that someone meant something special to you but you have to move on?

I guess if it would have happened to me something similar to what happened to Ali I would have done the same thing, I would have searched for the person who supported me throughout 3.5 years or more and I wouldn't like him to put his back on me when I needed at least someone to talk to.

So yes, we met that saturday night at my house and he was really in no good shape, he even kind of scared me when he said he didn't go to work that day, and for him to not go to work for no particular reason is really really strange.

Making a very long story short I listened to his problem and how he felt about his life and his situation and how his life is passing by and nothing has changed, on the other hand it has gotten worse. Being the ear that I always am for all the friends I have and sometimes not even friends I try to comfort them so they can go on with their lives and make them feel that what they're going through isn't the end of the world.

Ali wanted to spend the night, and to be honest I was really horny! So he spent the night there, but as soon as he asked to come back the next day I said no. Hoorray for me!!!, nooow things are turning the way I want to, and I see him when I want to at the time I want to. And that feels so damn good!

In the mean time I've been single again, I've been moving on, dating a few other guys here and there, but nothing really interesting happening anyway. I even got into that online dating services and there's where I met this guy who captured me since the first time we had contact, we've txt msg our cells every once in a while to wish each other a nice day. The only problem is he's in another city, not too far away from where I live, but it would be very difficult to manage a relationship long distance. Still I'm willing to give it a try and last friday we arranged a meeting for next weekend in his city. So let's see how that goes.

While I'm arranging my trip, Ali calls saturday afternoon to see if I'm available, I said I was but until late that night, around 9 pm. So 9 pm came, 9:10, 9:30, 10pm, 10:30. I thought he wouldn't show up, so I changed clothes and wore my pj's to go to bed when I hear the door bell and it was him. We started a fight, that's really rare on us because we never really fight, worse in the midle of the street and that's what we were doing. He was angry at the way I asked him why he was so late, I don't even bother anymore to ask him why he didn't call because 1) I know the answer and 2) I no longer care. So he starts shouting at me and saying I'm a selfish woman and never cared about anybody’s feelings and that I only care about mine and that's why he never wants to marry because "All women are the same".

WTF!!??!!?!?

He got into his car and I ran infront of it to stop it, so he does, I reach his window and asked him:

Me: “What did you just said?, Now after 3 years you tell me why you don’t want commit?”

Ali: I don’t want to talk about it and I don’t want to talk to you anymore, you think I don’t notice how hard you are with me and how cold you are when I come to see you?

WELL DUH!

Me: Step out of the car because I really need to hear these things you’re saying.

We got inside the house and asked him to sit and speak.

“Let it all out” I said “I want to hear what you have to say before you get your ass out of my house for good”

I was acting like a therapist and Ali the patient, and so he really did “Let it all out”

I can’t believe a man can keep all that crap inside him for so long, how you men do it really??? I’m extremely impressed! And I never did thought that he ever noticed how I changed and since when I started acting so bitchy.

I am really impressed!

He even said he was EMOTIONALLY TIRED!! When do you hear a man saying “emotionally”?

Well I haven’t!

Anyway, my answers to all my questions, same as the readers that have followed my story since the beginning have been answered.

You wanna know?

I know you do!

He’s scared of commitment because he has seen everybody around him falling apart in their marriages, he doesn’t want that, he also doesn’t want to be tied to anybody telling him what to do and how to act and how to do things in his life, I doesn’t want the responsibility for a woman who is living with him or even married. He just wants to be free.

Totally understandable, still I don’t get how he doesn’t want commitments and he is committing to buy a house with his nephew.

That is a commitment and a responsibility aswell but I guess he was just talking about a living thing, and not a house and let’s just leave it at that.


And then he asked “Why are you acting so cold with me?”

And well folks, you know the answer…I also “let it all out”

And for the 20th time I told him it was over…over…OOOOVVEEERRRRRRR!!!

Because he really didn’t get it the first time so I had to put it in a more clear phrase so he could chew on it better.

‘Ali, you are here because I need SEX, I don’t need your money for the rent, I don’t need your help for anything, but I can’t use a damn vibrator or just get laid with the first man that crosses my street, so that’s really the reason why I allow you to stay around, for the SEX, that’s it, I don’t love you anymore, I just need the SEX, so this is the only thing I can offer you, SEX, no nice feelings, no tenderness, no love, no nothing, just SEX, SEX, SEX, so it’s really up to you, if you want to stay around we’ll just have SEX, no word exchange no interaction, just SEX, and if you don’t like it well…the door is wide open!” Any questions?

Ali: So this means we are over?

D’OH!

YEESSS!!

Any other questions?

Ali: No

Good,now let’s have SEX!

Happy Hump-Day Everyone!

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