Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Christmas Is Gone Already?

Thank heavens...

Oh yes the christmas acceleration is over now, and I am feeling so happy, I don't have to deal with crap like christmas dinners or christmas crap and crap.

Anyway, I have always pondered about my life in every aspect of it and I am really amazed why am I still alive and well when all the time I am planning or thinking of planning on something everything goes the other way around and it ends up bad, and I mean really, really bad.

So me and my mom were planning to not do anything for christmas, well at least I was planning on not doing anything but my mother is so christmasy this time of year, she just can't let christmas go by without doing anything, so she convinced me to do a little something although insignificant, we planned to fix a special mexican bun called "Pambazo", which is really cheap and delicious and not much of a big fuzz to make either. So we had that plan up and running until thurday night, when BF came to visit and told me he was bringing his sister with him to spend christmas with us, I thought, well no problem, we're just having Pambazos for dinner and nothing else, so again BF tells me he wants to have his family gathered together for christmas day to have lunch, all his family was really not all of his family but part of them, still there were too many for me to see in one day.

As you all know I'm a hermmit and I don't like people, and worst, I don't like people all together gathering and being happy, and I was going to have that, on the 25th of December, for lunch, 8 people, together, eating, gathering, talking, messing up my house, going to my bathroom.



Ok, let's forget about that, that's not a big problem I'll just take some valium and forget all about it till Monday and I'm sure everything will be ok. Right? Right??!!!


BF gives me a hundred bucks to spend on that lunch gathering thingy but also said he wants seafood lasagna for saturday night besides the Pambazos and I'm thinking, a hundred bucks? WTF am I only getting cheap meat and some bread from the salvation army to feed these people? I'm going to need more than that.

So on Friday I went to 3 different grocerie stores plus a special butcher shop because BF wants lamb meat, he doesn't want any kind of meat he needs lamb meat, and not just regular lamb meat, he needs the thigs, the expensive side. Anyway, I go to 3 different stores, plus the butcher shop, then come right home and start baking some cookies for snacking and spent all day preparing for Sunday.

BF calls me friday night and asks me what I did and gave him the long list of stuff I did and he bares to ask me why am I doing all of that, that's too much, how much did you spend?! 300 dlls??!!!! That's alot of money, I didn't tell you to spend all that money, ARE YOU CRAZY!?!?.

Excuse me...did I hear right?

I am trying to make it a very nice lunch for the entire family so they can feel happy and comfortable and well served and the man asks me why am I doing all that much?!


So after we hung up I was really feeling the worst in the world, and I couldn't resist bringing myself back to 7 years ago, when I had a beauiful relationship with a man that was the most important person in my life, just as I was for him, I was sure about him because he always assured me what I was for him, I was his whole world, I was his queen, I was his universe, I was his whole life. And I remember very well every time I did something new he used to tell me he wished to be right there with me to share all those beautiful things together.

Still with those memories, the lunch went ahead, BF came home with his sister on Saturday night and apologized to me for yelling at me on the phone. I told him it was ok, but it's not true, I'm saving all those little things he's doing in a little bag that I am filling up little by little and when the right time comes I'll throw it all on him, I swear he's going to pay for it dearly.

The family was so pleased and happy with all the goodies I have prepared to make the day more joyable, I put a happy face, I laughed, I cheered, I even enjoyed their company, and of course when the day ended I said "I hope this isn't the last time you all are coming to visit, you are more than welcome to come back any time".

And as soon as I closed the door, and BF and I were alone I said:

"It's the last time you're family puts a step inside my house"

Merry Christmas Everyone!

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