WTF was he smoking?…
BF and I are now in a new stage, the stage where the relationship is little by little dissolving, in 3 days more we’ll be 4 years together, I know we will make it to 4, but I barely think we will make it to 5.
I have no courage to break up with him, it was so hard for me to break up my past relationship that I feel the strength is not here yet to do it again, I can’t, I want to but I can’t and it makes me very angry; I rather wait till everything is broken and find one day he’s not coming back to visit me as he always does and we forget about each other as if he or I never existed, that I am hoping.
For the past week, since BF told me he doesn’t want to commit with me I have been very hard on him, dry, he noticed and has asked me several times what is wrong with me, as always I say nothing’s wrong, everything is good, what could possibly be wrong?
Alanna is right, I’ve thought about it several times, the best quality BF has is that he’s always honest to me and to himself and has always told me what is in his mind without thinking if what he will tell me will ever hurt me, I thanked him for being honest with me, and that to find in a man is difficult.
Saturday night BF asked me if I missed him, and I told him that I didn’t. He looked at me straight in the eyes, as if he was looking for something, as if I am hiding something from him, as if I am lying to him for telling him I didn’t miss him, but it was the truth; he stepped back…
BF: Why didn’t you miss me?
Me: Tell me why should I miss you?
BF: Really you don’t?
Me: I don’t miss you, but I like it when you come visit me
BF: What do you mean by that?
Me: It means when you’re here I’m happy and also when you’re not here.
It also means, that while he’s there I’ll be the happiest woman alive and when he’s not there with me I will also be happy, because I am enjoying my life as a single woman. I hope he did get the point when I said that.
So he gave me a speech about 80% of Mexican women have their replacements in case the guy dumps her she will not be alone at all because there are people in line waiting for the BF position and crap.
And then he came up with this 3 stages of a GF/BF relationship theory which consisted on the following:
Stage 1: You have a friends, at work, at school, anywhere you know, you go out in crowds for lunch, or a movie but it’s only friendship
Stage 2: You date the girl or guy and it’s almost like a commitment of dating together but still you are allowed to date other people of the opposite sex.
Stage 3: The relationship involves sex, dating, and a more serious relationship which you are no longer allowed in a stage 2 relationship because there is sex involved.
Is like everything -BF said- like psychology and physics say with this formula that is used all around the world to understand the basics of a relationship. I = v/R.
By then I blocked all my senses and began thinking of my next trip to Acapulco, so I really don’t remember what he told me about the universally used formula for relationships.
This same theory was passed to my mother on Sunday while we were cooking lunch, then my mother came out with this weird thought.
Mom: I spoke to God last night
Me: really? What did he tell you?
Mom: He told me BF is not for you
Mom: Yes, he also told me the one will come for you in a short period of time, but you should not worry
Me: I’m not worried
Mom: He will come and propose marriage to you; he will give you a good life and also a house
Me: Wow, the whole package
Mom: He will be a very good man, if you think BF is a good man, this next one will be much better man than BF is, and you will be so in love with him.
Me: Of course I will, otherwise I wouldn’t marry him would I?
I felt as if mom was talking to a 5YO girl about santa claus and the presents and the tooth fairy.
Either she tried to cheer me up with everything or my face really looks bad and mom is trying to make me feel happy.
Anyway, I’m having what they’re having, as long as it makes me think and see stuff.
Happy Tuesday Everyone!