Now let’s see, I know many of you tuned into my site a few months ago so you don’t know details about the BF I’ve been mentioning for the last couple of years that I started this blog so I’ll just concentrate all into one post.
I’ve been with the BF for 3.5 years and it has gone like water, and I really believe BF is a very good prospect of a good husband to be, but there are a few things that need to be polished and it has been extremely hard for me to change mainly because he is from a different culture than mine (middle eastern) though he’s not muslim he is a liberal to an extreme which I cannot accept, (sometimes I feel like I’m the muslim and he’s the catholic); another reason, he’s 40 years old and his ideals are very strong to have them changed from one day to the other. The 15 year difference between us has made the relationship hard enough to make me throw the towel and say “No more!”
What is it that makes me say “No more” to this relationship?
#1 He loves his freedom, he doesn’t like anybody telling him what to do and what not to do. I understand that but to certain extents.
#2 He suffers from “Familitis”, I don’t know if I made this word up but it reflects a condition that he can’t leave his family aside, he belongs to them, for him there is nothing else or nothing more than his family, his family is first, then it’s the rest of everybody… that includes him and me.
#3 As his family absorbs him, he doesn’t have time to attend a relationship, he barely has time for a life of his own, for this reason ever since the rest of his family moved to the US his attention was so focused on them that even though we were living together we didn’t see each other for weeks, he would spend his free time at his family’s house and come home at 2 or 3 am every night. I did understand that also, as they were new in the country they needed help but that help also meant financial help, BF had only credit cards and he squeezed them till the last drop.
And that’s when the big problems arose.
After leaving his family settled in their new homes now he had to take care of two problems, the main one was me, the second and new problem, money, his pockets were empty and now he needed to spend his free time working at a part time job to pay all his credit card debts.
#4 He is such a wonderful man and he loves to share everything he has that people take advantage of him and his good will, even his own family, they could not suck his blood out because that would mean killing him and that would mean no more free help.
Now what is it that makes me reevaluate the relationship I have with BF that makes it worth standing 3.5 years with him and maybe even more?
#1 He is pure in heart and soul
#2 He is very respectful to our relationship, when we argue we never fight or say to each other bad words or yell at each other, we always speak our problems out.
#3 He’s very lovable and sweet even when we are angry and he always tries to make me smile.
#4 He makes all the problems seem so tiny, he always says that everything will be OK and there is nothing in the world that can’t be done and it gives me security every time he shows me that.
#5 He’s very responsible of me financially speaking, although he has debts to his guts he still helps me as if he still lived with me.
#6 And like I said earlier, he’s a wonderful man and loves to help others and share all he has and it makes me very proud to know he’s a very good man.
#7 He’s always available when I call him even when he’s working so I know he’s not cheating on me.
#8 He gives me the freedom I need to do what I want and we always work things out when we don’t agree on something.
#9 Most importantly we never fight over the TV remote…bwaha! (hey, I’ve heard there are divorces over that).
Although he is not as charming and romantic as I wished he was it compensates all of it with all the good qualities he has, which I find very difficult to find them all in another man.
So after reminiscing hard over the long weekend I’ve decided I have been too hard on BF, both of us need a chance, for me to accept him the way he is and him to get rid of his current problems. Now if I could just find a way to have his family disappear from the face of this earth I would be the happiest woman alive.
Dammit I need voodoo lessons.
Happy Monday Everyone!