Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Wednesday Aint' Wednesday without a Hump!

Is it Friday yet?...

I have no shame, I just spend one week at home recovering and I've been working two weeks and I want some more vacations. I am becoming a lazy Egg Yol!, what a shame.

Today I have nobody to look at me for the whole day, so I'm planning to leave early weeeee!

This is the most exciting day of the week ever! And this is how I am planning on spending it

1. Go the gym
2. Go to the movies
3. Sleeeeeeep

That's it.

********************

My little discussion with BF last night at the Chinese Bufette:

Me: So what are we going to do for our first night? (touching BF's leg with my foot)

BF: What are you talking about?

Me: You know... Our first night after our quarenteen... it should be special.

BF: Special for what? Sex is sex.

Me: Dammit because it will be like my first time again, can't you be at least a little bit considerate?!

BF: Why are you all puffed about?

Me: You are sooooo NOT romantic, what is wrong with you!!!?!?!?!

BF: What did I do?

Me: (Sigh) Just eat your damn shrimp...and don't ask me to help you out doing your....thing!

Monday, August 29, 2005

Summer Picnics Suck!

Mostly if the're co-workers in it...

The nightmare on Picnic Street is over now, (thank the omnipresent) now I can sleep like a baby without worries, until next week when the plans for the Christmas party will be made.

Dammit! why do the Homo-Sapiens have to socialize? And why is everyone, I mean eeeveryone have to be included in thier stupid celebrations.

It just pisses me off people, and that is reason #1 why I don't want to work for anybody anymore; having to attend to a stupid birthday cake at the cafeteria room and sing the stupid Happy Birthday song to the retard that has turned thirty something this year, and if it's not a birthday cake it's a friggin' picnic, or aniversary or christmas party.

When will this ever end?!!?!?!

This is too much torture for me, someone please shoot me!

The Nutter Industries summer picnic was the worst summer picnic I have ever attended to, and I am including in the family picnic ones and let me tell you, family picnics involving my family are good cat fights; only that Nutter Ind. did not include cat fights, the picnic was over way before anybody could get drunk or sick from hot weather conditions and the lack of bottle water, actually even lunch was finished even before anybody could go there and pick their lunches.

That's how pathetic it was, I mean I was not there to see it all but I was there enough time (25 ninutes) to know that the picnic was not going to be good at all.

The whole thing began at 10 am with a soccer game and a volley ball game, by 11 am the beer was gone and the people who finished playing were thristy but there was no water to be seen, just the ocean water and of course they were not going to drink that. Then the snacks, well someone said snacks were going to be served at 11 am but I was there by 11 and I was told the snacks were not ready yet, actually, someone had to go to the super market and buy a damn dead fish and kill it and make it into ceviche, a very raw ceviche. (ESC this one's for you)

Food was served after 2 pm, so I guess all the corporate visitors (about 20) that come from the US were extremely hungry, so hungry they ate all the food (for 80 people), so all the people that did not see the food was being served ended up with an empty stomach. Sorry people, food's gone, the gringos ate it!

Yeah, the operators had a very ugly look on their faces when the gringos passed by with a huge stomach and burping ceviche. I would too, fortunately I left before all this riot even started.

But I won me a huge ass headache but I didn't care, it was worth it because this morning the Hoochie mamma and the Rat had a very ugly meeting with the Plant Mgr.

Oh they're soooo going to get fired this year..

Bwaahah...bwaaahahahhahaha...bwaahahahahahahahahahaha

Happy Monday Everyone!

Thursday, August 25, 2005

2 Days 18 hours and Counting!

Tic…tic…tic…tic

I can’t believe August is almost over and with that the summer picnic is almost here. I was planning on not going but after my boss paid me the days without even asking if I was telling him the truth that I was sick well I might as well return the favor and give them the joy of my presence.

So I have my book ready just in case I must stay more than 10 minutes but I’ll be just wondering around making sure everybody important sees that I am there and then I’ll forget something in my car and I’ll disappear; end of story.

I hate summer picnics and worse I hate spending time with the company people, these are people I do not enjoy spending time with, why do I have to see their ugly faces over the weekend when I have to see them every friggin’ day Monday thru Friday 10 hours or more.

Nah ah! I am not staying more than 10 minutes over there that’s it.

Happy Thursday Everyone!

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

This is a Beaauuuuutiful Tuesday!

Just don’t remind me my house is YELLOW…I hate yellow….

While I was away resting my cryosurgery done by lady doc I got a surprise visit from a contractor that long ago came to my house to check the black spots on my brand new ceiling, yes it needed a new roof and it took the owner 8 months to send someone to fix it, plus the water went out in the whole town for two to three weeks and to my surprise the water supply pump does NOT work either; Oh so now they’re two things that must be fixed and I say Must with a capitol M. Looks like the owner doesn’t speak my language or he’s deaf, mute and doesn’t shower as often as I do (which is twice a day or at least once) because he preferred to send the contractor to fix the roof AND paint the outside walls; now, did anybody told me the house I am leasing is going to change colors while I’m resting my womb? Or where was I when any of this was arranged? I wasn’t invited to the party you know.

So after the 3 days I was secluded in bed I went out to breath some fresh air but I almost swallowed my own tongue when I saw the house is now YELLOW! Yellooooow…Yeeeellllllllooooooooowwwwwwwww. And it’s not a pretty yellow, oh no, it had to be the ugliest yellow color I have ever seen in my entire life! Well not to that extent because I hate fluorescent yellow and the owner would be completely out of is mind if he ever tried to think of painting my house yellow, but I think the paint shop ran out of fluorescent yellow so the owner chose the next thing to fluorescent yellow…

Bright Orange Sunset Yellow…and the corners and little things will be gray…Thank you God for making me blinder than I already am.

The house is not finished yet, I had a some how a semi-loud discussion with my father because he let a woman inside the house without introducing herself and went directly to the laundry room where I have my sexy undies and brassieres waiting to be dried with the natural flowing air.

Thank you Dad for showing I don’t know who the hell was she the color of my underwear. The shame is killing me!

So I kindly asked my dad to not let ANYBODY inside the house ever without letting me know first and with that out the painter and the contractor went until I am inside the house to supervise what the hell they are doing to my house.

Yellow…yelllooooowww….yeeeeelllllllooooooowwwwwwww!

Craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap!

Happy Tuesday Everyone!

Monday, August 22, 2005

Mooooooooonday!

Moooo…Moooo…Mooooo!

Aw gee, It’s been a week and I don’t see the end of it, I guess I am too horny or BF is making me that way, oh boy he doesn’t stop bugging me!

And I still have 3 more weeks to go!!!

Sloth gave me an idea, and I’ll ask a question to all the girls.

How do you know your man has too much or little to no experience in bed and how do you trust him when he’s telling you about his sexual experiences?

Well in my case having a few sexual partners and also a little bit of psychology worked for me; also too much of that woman intuition because you can’t just trust the first two.

BF and I respect our previous sexual lives because it is very uncomfortable and creates some kind of tension. How many partners has he or I had? It doesn’t matter, what does matter is that we were not the first ones to have sex with each other so that enough is an issue of precaution. I trust BF 100% on how he is with me and what he does for me infront of me and behind me too. And is not because there is “Love”, you the readers who have followed me through know very well BF is not the love of my life and he never will be, but he’s a person I can really trust when he tells me something. I only am worried about the previous sexual partners he might have had as I didn’t know them if they were into something unhealthy as well as he is concerned about my previous sex partners so we both in a defensive status at this moment.

BF has been diagnosed with PHV and with that maybe I have it too, we never used protection since the first time but before we could go any intimate we asked each other if we were tested for any STD’s, I knew I was.

Unfortunately PHV is somehow similar to HIV, you don’t know you have it until is too late, worst PHV has no symptoms of any kind and very few of the over 100 types of PHV show signs. BF was one of the lucky ones, he developed a rash a few weeks before and that’s how we knew something was not right.

So right now I’m clean, if I had it I will know after I get my results, my lady doc didn’t want to wait for any results, she just went right in there and turned my womb into a Popsicle. Damn she’s scary.

Bad thing of all we must use protection from now on, wether BF and I are still together for a longer time or not, condoms will be a must. So I’m just keeping all the free condoms the doctors are giving me, plus some BF got from his doctor they’re filling up a show box.

After all BF and I went through the last couple of weeks which were very stressful especially with me, I was very scared I might develop cervical cancer, actually I still am but I am not as worried as before. And with all that came along, BF has been very protective of me and supportive and more loving than ever. Does that mean he loves me?

I still doubt that.

BF had his rash taken care of on Thursday night, he didn’t go to work on Friday so we both stayed home resting our surgeries. Aaaaawwww.

Pft!

Anyhoo, cutting all the crap now. I’m back at work, I’m all backed up with all my reports, I’m one week behind and this is not pretty, also, old fart didn’t want to sign my vacation notice, instead, he asked me to fill out a Notice of absence with pay. Woo hoo! Now that is cool.

No wait! That’s not cool, this means I’ll have to go to the Summer picnic this weekend, Aaahhh Crap! Damn old fart! I knew he was not doing this on a good will, he is doing it on purpose.

Hope he gets some kind of Chinese diarrhea when he comes back from his vacation trip.

Super Craaaaaappppp!

Happy Crappy Mooonday Everyone!

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

A No Hump Wednesday!

Nop the doc lady told me in 4 weeks...

Thank you guys for being so nice with me and I feel so bad because I haven't visited your blogs, tho I'm doing that today because I am in the midle of jumping off my house 2nd floor or going back to work, so I rather read to kill time, plus I miss you all.

Alright enough crap already.

I never though getting condoms for free was going to be so easy. I already filled up a shoe box with multi-color/flavor condoms; aint that sweet? Too bad I can't use them just yet.

How horny is BF that he already found out how much money he's going to spend on condoms, which brand is best, the many sizes they have, and I don't know what else he was telling me yesterday. I was surprised he has never used a condom in his life. Now THAT is scarry!

But I found it so sweet of him because he's being very careful and tender with me, he fixed dinner for me last night and a huge bowl of watermelon. I couldn't ask for anything else.

And where's work you ask? I don't give a &%$$( thank you!

Happy Wednesday Everyone!

Monday, August 15, 2005

Yoli's First Time at the Gyn!

Dammit who said it didn't hurt?...

I must say is not as pleasing at it sounds and I am not so happy about opening my legs to some lady doctor who is going to take a sample of me. That already was freaking me out.

Yes it is my first visit to the Gyn because #1 I started having sex at 23 and #2 the books say I should start worrying at 25, so I just left it for one more year, and #3 because I was scared to go. Alright that's no excuse, shut up!

The main reason why I wanted to visit the Gyn was not for a regular check up; actually BF developed a "rash" that didn't seem normal to me and it worried me he might have had some kind of virus/bacteria/germ/bug/microb, lets say even the PHV?

Now that the PHV is the hot thing in STD's nowadays I don't want to miss the chance right?

So it turned out I have a huge ass ulcer in the neck of my womb that must be cured ASAP before it gets ugly, that means I am going into microsurgery tonight. Although is a 30 minute process it really scares me, too much, to the point I want to run away but I'll faint in the midle of it anyway.

Lady Gyn took out a sample of the ulcer and right now it hurts like hell people. Who said it didn't hurt? It hurts dammit! And it hurts alot, I feel as if someone just hit me too much with a baseball bat and this is just with a biopsy now imagine with a microsurgery.

Oh I wouldn't wanna be me right now, but I really don't have a choice.

And to my surprise, my boss the old fart is not working today at our company, he's at the corporate office "working" (that means partying around or having the time of his life playing golf) while I'm here worrying my womb out because I have to tell him I am leaving early for my surgery and that I am taking 2 days off for post surgery rest.

I am sure he's going to miss me.

Well, I'll keep ya posted on how the thing went tonight, that means if I don't post anything I either ran away or died with my legs open.

Happy Monday Everyone!

-------------- UPDATE----------

I'm back now, yup still alive, but not tooshie wiggly, I ain't moving my tooshie for about 4 weeks.

So how it went? Well, let's just say my womb was turned into a popsicle for 3 minutes and now I have these killer cramps as if I will have this killer period; I just hope it goes away faster because it's making me really nervous now.

Wanna hear something funny?

Lady Gyn doctor gave me relaxation therapy after the criosurgery, then she gave me a piece of her plant (WTF) after that she gave my mom a piece of the same plant with some of the flowers (WTF#2) then she whispers me on the hallway "Tell your BF no sex for at least 4 weeks ok? And from now on you should use condoms all the time when you're with him, here, I'll give you some to take home"; she gave me 2 condoms, a blue one and a pink one (WTF #3), I bet BF is going to look really pretty in those colors.

Happy Crampy Monday Nighty!

Friday, August 12, 2005

The Latest and the Greatest Friday Quickie!

Yai!...

Alright I'll make it quick as always. I'm going to my first Gyn's appointment and I'm terrified! OF course I didn't schedule it for today I'm not that craaazzyy, I scheduled it for tomorrow at noon.

I'm so nervous I already ate half of my pinky finger, it hurts.

Also I hoooope I don't have anything serious, although the main reason why I am going to the Gyn is for something I am kind of concerned about.

Buuut I'll let you all know the details about it on Monday.

Til then I'll practice my leg openings bwahaahah.

Happy Friday Everyone!

Thursday, August 11, 2005

I'm Aliveee!

And tooshie wiggly...

Been working my tooshie off this week, plus I've felt depressed after all the missundertandings and misscommunications between boss and the whole company, yes don't think it just happens to me, it happens with everybody who works for the old man.

Now he's got me to look for anything related to China, I guess he's going to China on his next vacations otherwise why would he make me stop doing all my tedious work with numbers to look for information about China right?

Probably my next post will be in Mandarin or Chinese, who knows, last time I was getting an Australian accent and dreaming about koalas and kangoroos.

Saw "Dark Water" last tuesday, it was the first movie after "Alexander the Great" and let me tell you it was not that good, although the end was not as everybody expected which was good it didn't let me get up from my seat for for the whole hour and ten minutes that it lasted there was something telling me the movie kinda sucked, but it had this magnet that didn't let me go until the end. I bet this movie has a subliminal message like "Doooon't get uuuuup, remaiiiiin seated, you're getting sleeeeeeeepy, eaat pooooopcooorrnnnn and naachoooooooos"

Talking to my friend Noemi, she gave me an idea to change the name of my blog, as I always post about my work and the old fart that I work for, I hardly post anything about my personal life, guess that's because I don't have a life but only a working life? Oh my Omnipresent God! I'm a friggin' Dork!

This can't be good can it? What if I get to live my own life? Does that mean I will stop blogging? I've been thinking tho as this is my only entertainment besides instant messaging my one or two friends and never go out anywhere.

I'm so pathetic.

I'll go hide under my desk now.

Happy Thursday Everyone!

Friday, August 05, 2005

Rapidin Friday Quickie!

8.5 long hours to go...

This is one of MANY signs that my week has NOT been nice...AT ALL:

After more than 10 times of being called to my boss's office...

Phone Rings- Yeeeeees?

Boss: Can you come here please?

Me: $#(@**$) alright!

Boss: Go and tell the QA Engineer to assemble this part and cut it

Me: (looking at the sprinkler is already assembled ) - Do you want me to bring you the QA guy so you explain to him what you need?

Boss: No, he knows what I'm talking about

I take the lil piece of crap to the QA department and repeat my boss's orders

QA guy: Huh?

Me: He wants you to assemble this part (pointint at the assembled sprinkler) and cut it, he says you know what he's talking about

QA guy: I don't get it, the part is already assembled

Me: If you don't understand you can go and ask him yourself, better yet, let's go and ask him together so he can explain to us both what he wants.

We head to boss's office...

QA guy: You just want to...

Boss: (interrupting QA's question and pointing at me) - What did I tell you to tell him?

Me: To tell QA guy to assemble this part and cut it

Boss: There you go (pointing at QA guy) assemble the part and cut it.

QA guy: Just a.s.s.e.m.b.l.e the part and cut it??

Boss: Yes dis-assemble the part and cut it, that's it

QA guy and I look at each other with a WTF look on our faces....

QA guy and Me in a chorus: But you just said to assemble the part not to dis-assemble it!

Boss: I never said that, I said dis-assemble the part and cut it!

Good thing I was not alone to hear THAT

This cenile old fart has GOT to go... FASSST!!!

Happy Friday Everyone!

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

humpty Dumpty Wednesday!

Hurrah...

I can't believe is Wednesday already; it's incredible, so incredible I feel like I haven't done anything productive. My boss is not here today, more holy this Wednesday could not be, unless I won the lottery or a very hot man took me to a dark alley and...

Ahem!

Ok back to me; Saturday night I was having a little discussion with BF about whether I should buy a house and give it as rent or just put myself to live in it, and I must say that idea of living in it is not exciting because I'm very picky you know, and if I want to live in a house of my own that house would be custom made, so I can enjoy living in it. Anyhoo, I still can't afford paying off a mortgage unless I have someone to support me to what I said "I'll do what ever you suggest me once I get married".

Guuulp! went BF

Of course I never said I was going to marry him or another guy; but I scared him, just a bit, enough for him to call me on Sunday night and tell me he misses me too much.

Well that's a progress...

Happy Wednesday Everyone!

Monday, August 01, 2005

This is a Monday Zoom!

Ahh no time for nothing...

Geeesh, my boss doesn't let me finish anything, I don't have 8 hands you know. We're closing month, but as we never stop our sprinkler production well I am closing and begining month at the same time, plus my boss has this temper today where he's trying so hard to smile but what he wants to do is really choke you do death, I can see it in his eyes he wants to kill me, because I've been so busy I don't even want to deal with his crap at the same time I'm dealing with my own crap plus other crap he wants me to do like finding out where the hell he left his crap...how the hell do I know?

Crap!

Now I have heartburn, does anybody have tums around, or Maalox, or Pepto?

I need a day off...or two if I may.

Happy Monday Everyone!