Thursday, June 30, 2005

And the Race is On!

Speaking of race...

You all know I only talk about politics and such when I am really annoyed at something. Well now I am annoyed, I am extremely annoyed, so annoyed I am going to post today. Ha!


Why am I annoyed you ask? So simple; I was eating my delicious lentil soup when I heard the news, "U.S. Speaks Up on Mexican Stamp Controversy".

WTF people of North America? You see, for our culture the way we mock at our own people is plain and simple, we call everything by its name and we don’t cry about it, in fact we mock about every aspect of our own lives and we don’t cry about it? Do you see me crying about me mocking my own life? I didn’t think so.

Well then so, why you bother about how we make cartoons in our culture when you have problems in your own like, let’s see now, oh yes, illegal immigrant crossing the borders and nobody doing anything about it (If I were the US government I would put an electric wall of 5000 watts just to see how them Mexicans turn into human tostadas, how about that for stopping illegal immigrants huh?)

Well now going back to the subject, now it’s somewhere written, I don’t have the manual but Reverend Jackson and other heavy heads in the US government “say” “black” is a bad word and draw black characters is an offence to the African race, well, excuse me but then how am I supposed to call that dark color black if it’s black or draw an African little fellow without putting color to it? I just don’t get it.

Just a week ago me, a friend of mine and my parents went to a restaurant buffet for breakfast, my friend was looking for decaffeinated tea, sure there was a decaf, but what kind of tea was it? She asked a guy right next to her:

Friend: It doesn’t say what kind of decaf tea is this, do you know by any chance?

Guy: Well it says there it’s decaf.

Friend: Well I already know that but what kind of tea is it? It doesn’t say.

Guy: (with a strange look on his face said again) it’s decaf

Friend: (Thinking for a minute then it comes to her) oh, so it’s black decaffeinated tea?

Damn! She said the wrong word; when she came to our table she said she messed up big time with a guy, I asked her what had happened and she told me “well I said it’s black tea and the guy just freaked out, until right now I realized the guy is African American and when I said the word “black” he made an uncomfortable looking face”.

So that’s why the tea bag didn’t say “black tea”? Is this to the point we are all going now? I don’t think the tea bag would have felt offended by calling it black though; in fact, why would the guy feel offended by the word black tea in the first place? Would he feel less offended if my friend would have said: “Oh, it’s African American decaffeinated tea”, or “Oh, it’s B word god may punish me for saying because everybody will think I’m a racist decaffeinated tea”.

I don’t think so.

Going back to the subject of the stamps made in Mexico.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, so what? The cartoon character is black, but he’s the star of the comic books, he’s the popular little fellow that everybody loves and he’s so smart he gets into a lot of trouble for it, just like any other smart cartoon character would, right? But just because it’s black, oh, that’s a big deal, the U.S. heads demand to take that comic book off the shelves and those postal stamps out of circulation because it’s pure racism to the core and it’s offensive to the public and last but not least, demand an apology from my President to the African American public for publishing such things.

People, please! There’s nothing to apologize for and deal with it.

If my culture was as picky or as prejudice as my neighbors in the North we would have filed a law suit against the WB for making Speedy Gonzalez a goofy character right? Or banned the Movie “Clueless” for making Alicia Silverstone say “I don’t speak Mexican” and name a bunch of other television programs for making a foul of our culture. But we don’t and we laugh with it and we enjoy the joke and the mocks.

That’s just how we are.

The only ones who are offended are those with low self esteem, that have peanut butter in their heads and morbid thoughts that what ever they see, smell, hear and touch is bad.

We just see colors as they are and say what it is without changing the meaning of it, after all that’s what it is, and there’s no changing to it as much as you want to cover it.

Happy Thursday Everyone!

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Yoli's Love Connection !

I should have my own TV show…

So there’s this girl that’s trying to take her stupid boyfriend out of her heart but she can't, of course that’s so difficult after a year and a half relationship. Hers have been tortuous nonetheless, and the only thing I can do is listen to her while she cries about it. Did I mention I was once again a spitting bucket on Friday while I was having a delicious fish fillet? Imagine the picture, I would never do what she did.

She was eating and crying at the same time, really, how can she do it? I can’t, either I cry or I eat, either I’m sad and die or starvation or I’m happy and eat like a pig, I can’t be sad and eat like a pig at the same time, for me that’s like putting salt to your coffee, that cant happen, can it? I guess she’s kinda used to that eating and crying infront of people now.

Anyway, I thought she would leave her fish untouched, guess I was wrong, she ate until the last itty bitty grain of rice there was left on the dish, I was amused and open mouthed. And still she was crying like someone just died infront of her eyes. This woman is weird.

So I tried and figure out what could I do to help her forget about the guy and the only thing that would come up my mind is have BF’s brother ho’ come to the rescue. He’s a miracle I tell ya, he just makes you forget the other guy ever existed, believe me, I already did his magical spell. Ha!

So I tried to fix up a hang out together Saturday night with a it’s not a date thing you know. So I told BF, BF didn’t understand what I meant, until I almost choked him and told him to not even mention the word meet/introduce into the converation, it was just an invitation to go clubbing all together, and the same I told this girl, who said she would be happy to go. I was happy too.

Well things didn’t go as expected, we were supposed to meet at this weird cowboy nightclub which I have never been before, and as soon as I saw the huge cowboy hats and the cowboy boots I said “I’m not going in there, there’s gotta be fleas and dust mites all over the place, hell maybe somebody didn’t even take a shower before coming in here”. So I just waited outside the club while BF looked for his brother ho’ and he found nothing. We waited for over an hour while the rest of the gang arrived, finally just two came around and we changed the place to hang out; still no signs of brother ho’ or this girl. I sent a txt to the girl and asked where she was, she said she was hangover and sleepy and might not make it (greeeat!).

Good thing brother ho’ was nowhere to be found because BF said the wrong thing when he invited his brother ho’ clubbing: “Hey, my girlfriend wants you to meet some girl from her work, wanna come?” WTF! I told him earlier not to say that! Dammit, men can be so stupid sometimes.

Anyway, the night was spoiled, the two guys that were supposed to meet and where the center never showed up ha! Aint’ that a coincidence, I think that means they are not supposed to be together, or I should take the message as such.

Oh well, so anybody have a single thirty something year old man who wants to meet this girly?

Send me your requests at no extra cost.

Happy Tuesday Everyone!

Friday, June 24, 2005

A Hot Friday Quickiee!

With double ee…

What a better way to show how efficient you are at work by just making people do what it needs to be done and then people hating you for it.

That’s what is beginning to happen in the last week. I now am being in charge of the purchase requests in my department and well, it’s not a big of a deal is it? Just ask for my stuff and expect to have it right away, or more likely, right now.

So I asked for a check for a seminar some of the monkeys are taking and I did that since last Wednesday, I told these freaks by written notice the check should be submitted along with the seminar request by email or fax before Monday.

It’s Friday now and the checks are not out, actually they just declined my whole request because they never knew the check should be submitted before the dead end and there are no funds, plus, it’s a foreigner vendor and an international check would have a special international service fee. WTF! Don’t people read emails in this company or notes in the purchase requests??!! This could have been taken care of they knew how to read!

I went whining about this with my boss, which means venting with the wall but it doesn’t matter at least people would not think I’m crazy if they saw me venting at my plastic turtle would they?

Still no response, the good thing is I made the check guy a foul of himself by telling everybody about it and now it went to the ears of the General Manager who is now pissed that I went everywhere whining about it.

Hey, it’s not my fault, somebody’s gotta help me out with this, I can’t be alone by myself handling this crap now can I? Now the monkeys are happy because they’re taking cash to the seminar and while they’re at it some cash for expenses. I knew my old ways of making things work would never stop working. It always works I tell ya.

If anybody in this company ever kind of dislike me for no reason, now they have a reason to hate me.

I think the old grumpy Yoli is back…hurrah!

Happy Friday Everyone!

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Summer time Wednesday Hump!

And all that crap that comes along...

You can feel it in the air, summer time is coming, oh yes is comming, my car already is starting to feel it, it overheat yesterday.

Summer time is here, oh yes, yes, yes. In the office everybody is talking about the summer picnic; my boss already sentenced me to go otherwise no more paid permissions. Gulp!

So I just heard that they've changed the place about 3 times already in the last month, first we were going to have it in one of the most touristc places in Rosaro beach; then they changed it to someplace not so much of a touristic place but still it was very popular for its golf courses. Now they've changed it again to a somewhat hotel called the Rosarito Beach (what the hell). Next thing I'll know they'll change it somewhere near a sewage spillage and dead seals. No thank you.

The subject of the summer picnic will be Hawaii, so we should be dressed with anything that has something related to Hawaii, Imagine me with two coconuts and a palm tree skirt dancing the hula (I don't think so). But what I will sure do is make me a good coconut costume, although I am in a dilema here, either I dress up like a pineapple or a coconut; hell I still have two whole months to think about it. In the mean time I'll keep whinning about how my evaluation is around the corner and I am so sure that my boss will point out to me how anti social I am and how I never want to cooperate with them whenever there is a party or orgy going on.

Hell I am not that crazy, I rather have a huge ass zero in my evaluation than sleeping with the VP midget.

I got a call from the HR Biyotch yesterday:

HRB: Say Yolanda I was wondering... I'm recruiting people to be a part of the organization comittee for the summer picnic games and I want to ask you if you would like to be a part of it?

Me: No

Click!

That was fast wasn't it?

I'll bring me a book to read to the picnic by the way and a huge sign saying "I'm juts here because my boss told me too not because I want to, so bug off!"

Happy Wednesday Everyone!

Monday, June 20, 2005

Hippidy Monday!

Hippiday…

Summer time, isn’t it great? The people in the beach, barbecues at the park, flies flying all around and mosquitos drinking your blood. I wouldn’t exchange that for the world.

Most of all because it’s the time where I am depressed to an extreme, and I really don’t know why. Yesterday there was this beautiful sunny day, it was great to go for a walk in my little town but, but, I was too damn lazy to get out of bed, so I stayed in pj’s most of the day until the afternoon, when I changed my dirty pj’s for a clean set.

Anyhoo, changing this depressing subject to another of the same gender:

Saturday I fixed my parents some Tempura with rice for lunch and crepes with cream cheese for dessert. Very international huh? And right before they left my mom told me “Aw this was so sweet to cook for us, it’s like a FATHER’S DAY CELEBRATION “

Dammit…Thanks ma! Now I’ll be banging my head on the wall for the rest of the year until next year where I’ll put a huge ass post it note every little place I walk by to remind me of Father’s day. If only she would have told me earlier, and not before they left.

So nothing in particular happened on Sunday. Oh yeah, now that I recall it. So I have this hi5 thingy account and I began searching the page for new cool people and guess what I found?! I found Michael Jackson’s page, so I added it right away, fool I will be if the guy who says is Michael Jackson it really isn’t because I just sent him a message telling him how much of a fan I am of him. Bleah!

What an embarrassment, I simply forget sometimes I’m not a teenager anymore.

Oh my god why does time have to fly so fast!????

I must get back to work, and I’ll be catching up on your blogs, don’t thing I have forgotten all of you, still I haven’t put down my red alert for the people who want to hurt me by putting a damn curse on me.

You are just going to have to do something better than an earthquake and a tsunami alert to scare me. I’m watching you, yes you, don’t turn around it’s you, I’m watching you!

Happy Monday Everyone!

Friday, June 17, 2005

The Quickiest Friday Quickie Ever!

Oh mamma...

I must apologize to you all for not reading your blogs as often and also for not posting so regularly, but I've been working my tooshie off. Now I am getting my salary paid off by the cent. It was about time really.

I'll be back to normal on Monday, (if there isn't a lightning strike hitting me) and I'll be catching up on you people and what you've been doing wihtout me. ha!

In the mean time...Oh yes, Happy Father's Day to all the daddies and the future ones and the ones who don't know but probably this weekend you'll get that call, yes you know what call I'm talking about, that horrorific call where your girl tells you "It's not here yet, it should have come 2 weeks ago!"

Happy Friday Everyone!

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

A Tsunami Alert Wednesday!

I’m getting sick and tired of this curse nonsense…

I was lucky, I live 2 blocks away from the beach. Did I get any alert on my city about this tsunami thingy? No, did I know earlier enough to get out of my house so I didn’t drown in the middle of the night? No. I knew until this morning on the radio. Did I freak out? Yes, and a lot.

That was the last thing I needed to complete that curse some of the people who know me have upon me. A tsunami drowning me, oh that’s great, I mean really, really great. Well after 20 years one of those hit my little town and it really made huge disasters you can still see in the beach obstructing the nice view. Yes they’re those little crushed pieces of blocks and one or two toilets still half dug into the sand; it’s quite an attraction really.

I’m still watching you people! You think you can kill me with one little wave, oh, you’re so totally friggin’ wrong. I bought myself a rubber ducky life saver and a rubber ducky jacket an umbrella and a kayak. Oh yes and an oxygen tank, and I’m sleeping with all of that just in case it hits me while I’m sleeping.

I’m too young to diiieeeeeee….

Happy Wednesday Everyone!

Monday, June 13, 2005

A Rootie Tootie Fresh and Fruity Monday!

Hurraaayyyyy…

I’m so happy, oh so happy, I can get to my normal life weeeee. The rash is gone but it still has a little thing it bothers me a lot, but I guess is natural after scratching my skin to bleed. (yuck!)

So after being almost absent from work and resting being without underwear for almost 3 days is kinda uncomfortable getting back to my regular undies, you can just feel it right there, see? It’s right there!

So I went to this Japanese super market with my Japanese wannabe friend and it was so cool, man, I bought almost 30 dlls worth of junk food but really can you call Japanese munchies junk food when they’re actually baked rice with seasoning or dried peas? Hey I call it nutritious junk food bawaha. Good excuse to spend Sunday munching around till I puked. Oh well.

Yesterday I called my parents to see if they wanted to see the movie “The Aviator” with me and oh, I felt rejected completely, they told me they didn’t want to watch it because they were having bible study and they needed to catch up on their homework and I should better stay home and rest. WTF!

I’m rejected by my own parents. Oh now this is really really depressing.

By the way, who felt the earthquake? I didn’t

Happy Monday Everyone!

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Thursday Raaaashhhh!

I gots it...I gots it...

Well, it looks like it's still there, it's definitely there, it's so there I don't have my pants on and my panties are rolled down, and I'm not horny nor I have a hunky hunk waiting for me in bed...although I wish I had but not with this rash, speaking of the rash, oh yes, like I was saying, I have been in work only had a day because this rash doesn't let me keep my pants on, I just need to take them off and I can't work without clothes (although my bossed wished, I could, rriiight).

Did I mention my rash is exactly all over my waist line and hips and that is the reason why I can't wear anything there, by end no clothes are allowed (I didn't know my body knew how to boicot me this good, really). Like in a good session of counteranalysis once told me, when my body needs rest it will ask for it, in one way or the other but it will and as I didn't listen to it since way back well now my own body has me with no pants on.

Thank you body, I learned my lesson, you can stop it now, really, I mean really. Cut it out!!!

See what I have to deal with here people? My own body has a"body" of it's own, and it's just like the owner (me), if it doesn't get what it wants, it will get it one way or the other.

Oh my god!!!

Happy Thursday Everyone!

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Not Another One!

I had it already…

When will this decease thingy go away ever? My flu is gone, oh yes I’m happy now ‘cause the flu is totally I mean totally gone. Oh but it had to be an allergy I have on my skin that developed a huge ass rash around my waist. It itches like hell people, I don’t know whether I prefer to have a flu or this friggin rash.

Definitely someone is doing some sort of curse on me because I just don’t see the end of it really.

In any case, I am watching all of you people!


Happy Tuesday Everyone!

Friday, June 03, 2005

Friday the Acheeee!…Oyyyy….Quickie!

Kleenex please…

As I was saying, my nose is dripping, my eyes are watery, my body is achy, I have to work with a tissue on one hand and using the other hand to work, one little mistake and I drip the papers I’m working on. This really sucks; although is not so bad because that gives me the excuse to excuse myself early today to get enough rest.

Now BF is going to find me all sick and crappy; this will be a way to BF proof me how much he loves me…oh yes.

So after the crash, the UTI (did I forget to say I have a pippi problem now?) and now this cold, really I cannot ask for anything else. Oh I forgot to mention yesterday my rear view mirror broke and I had to drive half blind all the way home. I tried to glue it with krazy glue and it didn’t work, with wood glue and it fell down again, at the end I had to duck tape the damn thing to the roof so it stayed still. Now let’s see if it falls down again, but I am not driving with no rear view mirror one more time.

Please oh mighty one, enough already, I get the picture.

I’m Alive and should be thankful…Alright already!!!

Happy Friday Everyone!

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

The Wednesday Humps!

Acheeeee!....

Dammit I'm catching a cold; this hasn't been my month, definitely.

Yesterday the company monkeys "celebrated" my birthday. I don't know if I should call it celebration when it was actually an excuse to eat someone's birthday cake. Yeah, let's call it that.

It was the most humilliating moments ever, and I sure hope in the future there is not another birthday as pathetic as this last one, according to SJ I don't have much of a chance of it being any prettier in another 18 years or so.

About 15 people went to the conference room, three of them congratulated me since earlier in the morning, another 2 kind of said something between their teeth and the rest just ate cake and left without even saying thank you.

Oh well, I guess it shows I am not appreciated in the joint (rreaalllyyyy???)

This morning I woke up with a killer soar throat and itchy nose. I am so catching a cold this time.

Beware people, the Yol will come and catch you with buggers on hand!

Happy Wednesday Everyone!