If I only knew the pain would be worst in the future…
I asked him why would he do such horrible thing to me if I never ever did anything wrong to him or anybody. I was devastated; you might guess what were the answers, they were logical, they were simple, but I couldn’t know, I was too young and immature at the time. We spoke on the phone for over an hour until he convinced me it was a real thing that was going between us and that he wasn’t joking around with me, to proof it, he arranged a trip to come visit me. I couldn’t believe it, I was going to meet him for the first time in so many months; we arranged the meeting in March of 2000, we made plans and while making those plans he asked me if he could ask for my hand in marriage while he was there for a visit, I was shocked but happy, but I didn’t know how to tell my parents that man I met over the internet was coming here to ask for my hand. I know my dad would be neurotically angry at both, so I didn’t tell him anything until the time for that meeting would come. The time for his meeting with the Mexican embassy came, but he was rejected, because of the political issues that were going on between Afghanistan and the US to destroy the Taliban regime the Mexican government had an agreement to restrict the middle eastern countries until the conflict was over.
The pain was worst than before when he told me he could not come to visit me, I didn’t believe him at first, I was getting bad ideas from my parents that maybe he was just playing with my feelings again and he never really go and get a visa and all of it was a big lie. I told him all of that. He swore under the name of his god he was telling me the truth, and to proof once more he was being honest on April 23rd. 2000, he sent me a parcel with his passport, along with an 18 kt gold ring with a huge white rock and a matching bracelet, $100 US dollars to pay the parcel with his documents back to him, and a very sweet handwritten letter, that letter had his favorite lotion sprayed all over, so as soon as I opened the package I could smell what he smelled like.
The passport had a stamp of the Mexican embassy in Egypt with the date he said he went and he was rejected. My feelings were mixed up, should I believe him or not? He sent me his passport to proof he was doing what he said, but my father on the other side was telling me it was all fake, “anybody can fake original documents, that means nothing” my father said. I was inconsolable again, I felt everything was against us and we were never going to be together.
“Maybe next year” we would say to each other, “Next year it will be different”.
Months passed after that; we planned another meeting for October or November of 2001 but this time he would go directly to the US Embassy and ask for a visa, he got an arranged an appointment for September 26th, 2001, but he was not feeling very good, he began feeling sick from time to time, he had stomach pains, and sometimes he could not stand any food and would not eat in days; his nose started bleeding for no particular reason and the bleeding would be worst every day, I could see him through the webcam he was not getting any better as days came, he was getting thinner, he was loosing color. He went to the hospital for a week after that, the doctors did many tests on him and couldn’t find anything wrong; he had to be sent to the capital city where they could do a scan on him to see what was wrong. I was extremely worried, I knew something wrong was going on and something tragic could come at the end.
On September 7th 2001 he would get his results from the tests, I was expecting him to call me at my work by 9 am an let me know how the tests came out. The hours passed, and I didn’t hear anything from him, I got worried, I dialed his phone and it was disconnected, I dialed his cell phone and it was off, I had nowhere else to call him or any other way to reach him and as the minutes passed the mortification was worst. I kept calling him to his two numbers, one after the other for over an hour again and again and I couldn’t stop dialing, I had to talk to him. Finally he answered the phone, his voice was shaking, he couldn’t speak correctly, I asked him what was going on? What happened? Yelling to him from the desperation. A long pause then the news.
Yolanda…I have stomach cancer.
To be continued…