Monday, April 11, 2005

Single Men Are So Predictable!

and pigs…

Yesterday I went with BF to the apartment he lives in when he’s not living with me; knowing he lives with his nephew a 21 year old irresponsible guy I kind of imagined what I would end up looking at but I never thought it would really be what I thought it was.

We were outside the parking lot and BF invited me in while he left some stuff in the apartment, but I refused, saying I shouldn’t be looking at something I am not supposed to look at like a dirty underwear on the couch; but boyfriend insisted so much saying the house was clean and there was nothing bad to see. He was wrong.

As we walk in I found this horrible smell of old cigarette smoke and before I could step in any further I found a dish filled with cigarette butts; BF quickly picked it up before I could say anything; but when he asked me to sit on the couch I turned around and I see a pair of dirty briefs over the sofa, I could not prevent myself and said it out loud and maybe the neighbors heard me but I didn’t care

Me: You want me to sit down on a dirty underwear? You are so disgusting, I am out of here.

BF: No wait, they’re mine and they’re clean look (smelling the underwear and putting it under a cushion on the sofa) sit down, I won’t take long.

Me: I don’t care if its yours or your nephew’s, you two are pigs, I am waiting for you outside, I don’t want to find another surprise like a used condom or something (making a yucky face).

And just as I said that I turned around and I see in the living room table a condom and a bunch of packs of condoms on the side.

Me: AAAggghhhH!!! Look I told you I would find a condom! That’s it, I am out of here before I find a hooker getting out of that room and I’ll puke on your dirty carpet!

BF: Fuck! You’re so picky.

Me: Bite me!

I had a green face all the way back to the house with the mental image of the dirty underwear, the condom and the hoochie mamma with fuffly slippers.

The moral of the story is: If your boyfriend invites you to his shared apartment you better be prepared for what you’ll find because it ain’t pretty.

Happy Monday Everyone!

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