Thursday, March 31, 2005

Electric Thursday!

Hell, my hair is aaaaaa mess…

Today, Santana feel like weather and I came here with loose hair, oh but while the weather was beautiful and no wind at all I had to wear my hair buns and pig tails, but not today, no, hot sexy Yoli now looks like a crazy witch.

Why?

Did I mention static is bad for me? No? Well then let me explain; every time there’s windy weather and the electrons are running around like crazy around my hair, I freak out, which means I can hardly open my eyes, which means my hands feel antsy, which means I can’t work, which means complete hell because I can’t get my work done on time.

So, I am going to ask someone to lend me its arm while I discharge my electric shocks to before I scream of anguish.

Any volunteers? No? I’ll give you a blueberry muffin…no?

Happy Thursday Everyone!

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Yoli’s New Look!

Oh yeah look at me people…


I started wearing my extravagant sexy spring clothes this Monday and it was big success, oh yes, I didn’t have this much attention for so long now, I was really feeling crappy the last couple of months, but now, the old flirty Yoli is here to take back what was lost since last year. Although I felt it was not such a good idea after I stepped out of my car to get in the company because it was freezing over here, also, it rained and I was wearing light yellow, so I was the only sexy weirdo in the office bwaha!

I haven’t seen BF since…god knows when I already forget how long it’s been but it’s been good, little by little I’m taking my head out of the big ground hole and tasting my single life again, really I missed it a lot. But I have to thank the circumstances otherwise I would have not lost a full dress size in less than a month. Hurray for me! Of course it took me a lot of effort don’t think it was that easy, I didn’t exercise, I didn’t diet, I just got sick of my stomach for about a month and thanks to that my stomach shrunk to the size of a raisin. But believe me loosing weight in this manner is not a pretty way to go.

Now next thing I’m planning on doing is subscribing to a gym, though I’m way too lazy for those things and way too picky with germs I am really thinking about it deeply into my conscience, so I think the healthiest and cleanest exercise is Spinning and/or Belly Dancing; of course I’ll have to bring my Lysol with me and a special cushion for my toosh, and probably even a mask and a pair of latex gloves; I don’t want to get involved with anybody’s germs but my own.

In other news, we’re going to wear uniforms soon, how soon? We’ve been looking for uniforms since November and still no news about what uniforms we will wear, what kind of scientific process does this take? HR people here are very slow so I am pretty sure I’ll have to buy me some new office clothes for spring and summer because I don’t see the end of it.

Now my vacations are coming in May, I can hardly wait for that moment, I’m thinking on celebrating my birthday (which is in May also) somewhere out of here! I so need to get out of this place and forget where I live at least for a week. So I already got me a bunch of brochures for cruises and vacation packages; now I’ll have to think of a way of saving my money so I really make it real otherwise I’ll spend it all and I won’t go anywhere. Crap!

I’ll chew that while at lunch. In the mean time…

Happy Tuesday Everyone!

Monday, March 28, 2005

I’m Back!

And I’m feeling sharp…

After 4 short days of rest I am back in business in this joint. All the energies and nice mood I gained during Thursday, Friday and Saturday I lost it yesterday when me and my parents went to Balboa Park to spend the day, actually my main reason for going there was the Chocolate exposition, which there was only 4 stands offering chocolate testing the size of a bread crumb for 50 cents each testing. WTF! I didn’t pay $9 dollars ticket admission for this did I?

Anyway, that wasn’t the only thing that made my nerves go up to the sky but also when I went inside a handmade clothing store, everything was pretty enough to take home and try it all at once, bad thing the store clerk/owner or what ever she was wasn’t so nice. She had this homeless type trying on rehab from too much prozac on her system, and was it just me or isn’t she a damn racist? The woman wouldn’t leave our sight and it became worst when she heard me and mom talking to each other; the harassment was so much it made me pretty uncomfortable and it was more than noticeable she didn’t want to sell a nice pretty blouse to me, she wouldn’t even give me the blouse after I bought it and would not stop looking at me and mom up and down.

It was the first time I felt a racial discrimination and it really does feel bad. Anyhoo, the damn woman would not go with a bitter taste on her mouth after I paid her cash $120 dlls for the blouse which I suppose from the look on her face it was the first time she actually sold something in that store.

In your face woman!

Happy Monday Everyone!

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Wednesday AS IF Friday Quickie!

I’m outta here…

Today is my last day in this joint; I’ll be on vacation till next Monday (Thank you god!).

In the mean time we’re having more rain, nice, now we’ll grow more holes on the street, which means more broken tires. So much for spring, give me a break will ya?

And the weekend looks like this starting tonight:

Wednesday night: Movie night 2 x 1 ticket with a friend (woo hoo!) we’re watching The Ring 2 or Robots which ever comes first.

Thursday: Have brunch with long time friend, zzzweeeet!

Friday: Fix dinner at parents house and play some cards…probably

Saturday: Clean house? Hell no!

Sunday: Bang my head on the wall till I loose conscience.

Happy Wednesday AS IF Friday Everyone!

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Where's Your Lunch?

'Cause it's sure not here…

Last night as I was taking BF’s one week old lunch from his lunch box I noticed a green tupper, with a different lunch inside and it was half eaten:

Me: Where did this come from?

BF: You put it there this morning

Me: Are you sure? Because last night I put your regular beige tupper with and it had egg plant and pasta, not a green tupper with macaroni and cheese and BBQ chicken.

BF: But you put that in there didn’t you?

Me: I didn’t fix BBQ chicken on Sunday and I never fix macaroni and cheese.

BF: Your mom didn’t give you that?

Me: My mom never came here last night and you were here to prove it. Now where did you say you took this green tupper out of?

BF: The fridge

Me: Which fridge? This green tupper was not in my fridge last night, there was a beige tupper inside.

BF looks at me and then looks at the strange tupper on my hands while I stare at him in the eyes. Silence takes the room.

BF: Oh shit! I took the wrong tupper, fuuuuuck! I thought you wanted the egg plant for yourself and you left me this food.

Me: forget the food inside, didn’t you realize this tupper was not yours? You still ate that thing, what if it had rat poison in there?

BF: I don’t know I thought you put it there

Me: In a green tupper ware? Where have you seen I have green tupper ware? Where in hell is your head? Do you know who this lunch belongs to?

BF: No

Me: You ate a stranger’s lunch??

BF: I didn’t eat all of it, just a little

Me: But you ate it!

BF: I guess I did.

Me: Where’s my Lysol cleaner?

It happens that when BF took his beige little tupper from home he put it inside a plastic bag, once he got to work he put the plastic bag inside the company fridge, but he never realized he put it right next to another plastic bag with another tupper inside, so when he was called to go out for a delivery he grabbed the first bag he saw on the fridge.

Do this kind of people really exist? I’ve never seen anything like this in my life; sure once I put a pair of dirty socks on the fridge and one time I put the milk inside my closet and left it there for a whole day but eating something that obviously looks like is not mine is a totally different story.

See what I have to deal with every day?

Happy Tuesday Everyone!

Monday, March 21, 2005

Yoli in Lalaland!

If it was a real place I’d book a ticket…

My head’s been everywhere except where it should be, though last night I took a little intelligence test and my brain cells are not dead…just yet.

So this morning it took me more time than regular to wake up (1 minute, usually I wake up in .001 secs), and it was not pretty I tell you. And it’s been like this since…let’s see, I can’t recall right now but it must have been sometime between last week or last year but not more than that, which can mean two things.

#1 I need desperately a vacation, or #2 I am getting old and starting to forget things like my parents do, which is not a good thing.

Now I forgot what the main purpose for this post was about but hell who cares anyway if I had anything important to say, like, I’ll be asking my parents to move in with me on July and that means no more fooling around with myself or with anybody, and I’ll have to put a timing card on the door to check my ins and outs of the house, which means my freedom will be gone, not forever but at least for the remaining of my dad’s life; which means I’ll be recruited in my house like a prisoner, until one of two things happens first,

#1 I get married and escape the hell I put myself into, or
#2 Heaven forbids, my dad moves on to a better life.
#3 would be killing myself but that is definitely not an option.

Which gives me no other choice but to put myself under my dad’s commands to make him happy even if that means no dating for me. OH MY GOD WHY!!!!

I’ve been circling this option of having my parents move in with me ever since I told BF we could not live together anymore; now looking for a roommate would be the greatest of the ideas but my defect is that I’m too picky and I’ll end up firing my roommate in less than 3 days. I have everything worked out, but I need to present my plan to my father and introduce it to him as the best of the options for him and for me but it will go under, lets call it, certain conditions.

#1 He will not say anything if I make a decision
#2 He will mind his own business
#3 If I’m not going to spend the night in the house he shall not ask why
#4 If I’m going out somewhere he should not ask the 1001 questions
#5 The words “WHY, WHEN, WITH WHO, HOW, TIME, BACK” shall not be mentioned at any time while I’m in the house.

I didn’t think about these conditions until yesterday afternoon while I was preparing lunch for 2 and my father dropped by accident 2 times at my house “Just to see how I was doing” as he told BF, because he was worried.

I’m going to hang myself with this decision of mine.

Happy Monday Everyone!

Friday, March 18, 2005

Grouchy Friday Quickie!

Move or I’ll bite…

I am NOT in a nice mood today. So anybody in my company who will even try to look at me funny will get a bite out of me.

And just to make sure I am not in a nice mood I am wearing a girly t-shirt reading “I’m a Sweet Princess”

Bwaahaaa…shut up!

We’re having more rain this afternoon, I brought my big ass umbrella that covers most of a block, I don’t know why I bought it so big, it was on sale at Costco and couldn’t resist it; anyway, as I was getting out of my car and still I can’t measure the distance between my big ass umbrella and the space where I’m walking I hit/scratched/bumped about 4 or 5 cars including mine on my way out of the parking lot.

Bwaaahahahaa…shut up!

Happy Friday Everyone!

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

The Wednesday Humps!

I’m dieing here…

Yep I went home early with the Gral. Mgrs. permission; stomach was bad although the indigestion only lasted one day, yesterday I felt faint, well sure, I didn’t eat anything but a banana and a chicken soup since Monday, what kind of food is that? So now I have heartburn, and a very bad one.

I don’t like to ask permissions much to leave my work especially when I have a mortal enemy across the building, the parrots from HR, so yes I was waiting some talk about me leaving the company without telling anybody this morning, which it happened, which made my stomach pain, which made my pancreas hurt, which made my stomach more pain and so on. My anger management program is not helping this way people; soon I’ll die greener than Oscar the Grouch if I keep like this.

But I was happy while I was at home, mom made me a chicken soup and rice, I was in heaven for about an hour, my parents stayed with me at home all afternoon until it was almost time to leave. Now you know how delicate it is to have certain excitements when you have stomach problems right? Well, it was 9:30 pm and BF was not home yet, again, I called his cell and didn’t get any answer, I freaked out, my dad freaked out with me and my mom was not helping, she kept saying “Maybe he’s with somebody else and doesn’t want to answer your phone calls, or maybe he just doesn’t want you to call him anymore”. What the!? No, BF is not like that, I just know it, dammit, right there I felt my stomach crumble.

Anyway, after 20 attempts finally BF picked up the phone screaming and I could hear the loud background music and lots of weird talking; he was at Mission Bay with his family celebrating New Year’s Eve, oh well at least he’s not half dead or with another woman, he asked how my stomach was doing to what I said it was a bit better but not well, and the next thing he says that makes my stomach hurt from my throat to the end of my stomach till right this second is “That’s great, well then as this party isn’t going to end till midnight I’m not going back home tonight so I guess I’ll see you tomorrow”.

After telling my parents what happened they were still not making it any more less uncomfortable, worst after my father said, “yep, he sure doesn’t care about you, he rather have a good time in his new year’s party than being here with you taking care of you just like a loving couple should be, yes, there is definitely no love in this relationship”.

Grrumbbllee Grrrummbbllleee…oouuccchhhh!

Thanks dad, that’s just what I needed.

Happy Humpday Everyone!

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

The Tummy Ache!

This feels awful…

I ate so much on Saturday I felt exploding my guts out. Why is it that some people don’t understand when you tell them “No thank you, I already ate”? This happens to me every single time I go to BF’s sister’s house; I hate it; I’m on a diet where I take some pills that make me gag every time I over eat the regular amount of food, but I hate puking so I always hold it, and hold it till I get sick and still I am not puking because it’s freaking disgusting! Then I get really sick and this is what I am right now, sick.

I was feeling great, I ate a burger for lunch, then two hours later I ate a little piece of cake, ok, dessert doesn’t harm anybody, but then I felt full, so it means I should stop it, ‘cause I’m full. Well, we go to their house and the first thing they do after saying hello is put a big tray of fruit, give you a dish and a knife and stick the fruit basket up your nose till you take a piece and if you’re not taking any then they give you 3 pieces of fruit, just so you understand you Should eat, is not an option. So there I am feeling full after the piece of cake I ate 30 minutes before and now I’m eating 3 pieces of fruit, then they give me chips, I say no, BF doesn’t take no’s for an answer, so he shoves a bunch of flaming cheeto’s inside my mouth. I started to feel dizzy; an hour later, dinner was ready, with my green face I say to my boyfriend I can’t eat, I’m so full I’m about to throw up, he doesn’t believe me, so he tells me to eat just a little bit so I don’t turn them down and be rude; I am not being rude, and if I eat one more thing I am going to throw up in front of your sister; he didn’t listen to me and gave me a dish of rice and something with beans inside and a side of mashed potatoes. I am only able to eat 3 spoons and that’s it.

To make the long story short, I’m suffering the consequences since yesterday with a killer headache, right after I drank a cup of coffee, big mistake, I didn’t eat anything else but a banana for breakfast and a cup of ramen chicken soup for dinner because this time I felt if I ate something else I would really throw up. So now I’m just waiting for my tummy to feel better, I’m on an only liquid diet, and a granola bar and chamomile tea, oh yes, good ole chamomile tea.

Last night I punched BF in the stomach so he felt what I’m feeling. Next time his family comes over to my house I’m going to Make them eat my Mexican food with lots of salsa and hot chilly, and they better not say no or I’ll shove it through the arses!

And if they ever force me to eat their dinner when I’m full I am really puking on their dishes.

I have had Enough!

Happy Tuesday Everyone!

Monday, March 14, 2005

Who Wants a Little Piece of Me!

I know I don't…

Ok at least this other book I’m reading is helping me manage my anger, now instead of getting angry every 3.5 seconds I could make it up .5 seconds longer, so now I get angry around ever 4 seconds. That’s a big improvement isn’t it?

In other news, I am going to wear skirts to work, ain’t that girly? So I am going to start shaving my legs every other day instead of once a month. I was going to wear my girly skirts this morning but I the breeze was not helping, and I didn’t buy me any stockings.

Funny fact about me, as I don’t use shorts or skirts so often but only once a blue moon the color of my legs is 180 degrees different than my arms and face, actually if somebody saw my legs they would think I had a leg implant from a dead ostrich. That’s how white my legs are, and I am not even that white. Shame on me!

I’m doing a payback time with BF while he stays at home, as he said I am only a roommate, well I have decided I am going to charge for my services, excepting some intimate ones of course, otherwise I would just advertise myself in a corner. Ok back to the roommate issue, about the dirty laundry we agreed I will get paid 10 bucks per load every 2 weeks and if he wants a meal he will pay 1.5 bucks per meal. I already got my first load pay, and I am getting help from BF on doing the weekly chores such as cleaning the house, dusting, ironing and vacuuming unless he wants to pay me for that too which will be a little bit more expensive than a regular cleaning lady, but he agreed he would help out.

So everything is happy, everything is cool and beautiful except for the fact that he is leaving me, and one of the tricks I am playing is wearing skirts, just to see if he will change his mind any time soon. Although we agreed on the move out, I am still doubtful the relationship will work out as he thinks it will, I mean, he will have lots of temptations as well as me (been there, done that), and we both agreed that if either of us found someone else we would call the relationship quits but we would keep a friendship between us; excuse me…bulllsshhhiiitt!! I think I just sneezed.

I don’t believe in first lovers then only friends relationship because it never works unless both persons are extremely mature to accept your ex is going out with someone else and having the time of its life and you’re not included in the picture. I am not that mature yet.

At least I got something out of it, BF will stay with me until September of this year, and then he will make sure I have the correct roommate or I have moved out of this apartment to a cheaper one.

Because I am not moving back with my parents, I rather die dead than die alive! (If you know what I’m saying)

Happy Monday Everyone!

Friday, March 11, 2005

Friday Quickieeee!

Can I scream please...

I've been trying all morning to post comments on Blogger and it's not working, I remember long time ago before blogger had its own commenting section I had haloscan but when I changed my template I screwed everything.

In my anguish to recover my comments back to how it was before I found my haloscan comments hidden between the little codes, hurray!

Now, I can't get the comments to go up the little dashes and they're stuck in the bottom, I know is nothing serious, I didn't loose my information but, the little dashes are over my comments and it looks like the comments belong to the other post!

Agh!

I've been trying all afternoon and well I have lost and recovered comments and other crap back and forth and the little dashes are still not moving.

If my blog was a human being I would have strangle it till asfixiation.

To hell with it, I'll have to live with that now for the rest of the weekend.

Happy Friday Everyone!

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

If you're not Blonde and Skinny!

Then you don't belong here...

Nutter Industries has this strange policy regarding hiring people. Besides that everybody has to pass through the entire company for interview and decide by anonymous vote if everybody likes you or not you have to pass by the weight scale and a bleaching test.

Yes, believe it or not we are still in an era where the physical appearance is the weapon for your success, now I thought that was already a void issue because it became a law to not discriminate anybody with physical impediment and all companies should be an equal opportunity employment, but that is not the case here at Nutter Industries.

To my surprise, since I started working in this money laundry company I realized all the office girls in my company have something in particular with 3 B’s: Big Breasts, Big Butt, Beautiful Body.

Now, Drama Queen and I are the only exception for the rule because I don’t fill out the requirements by its total, neither does Drama Queen but it doesn’t matter because we are not in the office area and we belong to the Production Department where my old boss belongs and he doesn’t care how we are as long as we do our job right.

But that’s not the case with the administration girls in my company, as I said before, they all have the same in common, all the chicks are hot and boobilicious and they are all single. What a coincidence.

This afternoon to my surprise I heard that one of the operators was not going to be accepted to work here because she’s how can I make it sweeter…too fat to work.

How is it measured that somebody because of its appearance is not capable to do its job right? I don’t understand, sure the woman is obese but that doesn’t stop her from assembling little water pumps I mean come on, is not like she’s going to do a hard work that needs elasticity and fitness, she’s just going to assemble little water pumps. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE!

So the “damage” is done, she’s been hired and now one of the Beyotches at HR wants her out because she’s fat and she can’t work, (how do they know that if they haven't given the woman the chance to show it) and she doesn’t look good in the production line laying her fat ass in those tiny little high chairs so now the woman doesn’t know but they’re going to wait until she can’t reach the production standard to kick her out of here.

Did I mention that the company is searching for a new receptionist? But above all the knowledge and experience, she needs to be blond, with perfect body and single; now let’s be realistic people please, Mexico doesn’t have those qualities in one girl, and if there are any they girl must be hired already as a supermodel or an actress; so now imagine how hard it is for them to find the Barbie they’re looking for; they’ve been looking for her since almost a year now.; good to know they have patience.

Things like these make me want to throw up, really I am serious.

Does this mean I have to be thankful because I wasn’t hired by those two beyotches? I am an overweight brunette.

Damn, now I know why those two have something against me.

Happy Wednesday Everyone!

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Daddy's Little Spider!

That's me if you're asking...

My dad is one of the people who find animal characteristics in other people. For example he would say "Oh look, that guy over there looks like a constipated worm", how does he know how constipated worms look like, I don't know but once you look at the guy's face, he does look like a constipated worm.

Anyway, when I was born my dad was the first one to see me in my little crystal box, I was born with hair, lots of hair, and I mean lots and the first thing that came into my dad's mind was that I looked either like a baby tarantula or one of those little monkeys called gremlins and that's not only because I had lots of hair but because my eyes were so tight together and my brows would pop up so much my dad said "You looked like you had 4 eyes instead of 2".

Of course, naming your kid "Tarantula" is not nice for others to hear, besides the kid would have mental problems in the future. So my dad gave me the name of "Little Spider", and where ever I was, my dad, mom and brother would call me "Little Spider", and it didn't matter if it was in public but it's a family thing I guess, I wasn't the only one with a nickname, my brother had one too; he was the Aztec King "Cuauhtemoc"; although is a real name in my country still is embarassing if someone calls you like that just to make fun of you.

You might think the name calling stopped when I grew up, well no, my dad would call me "Little Spider" even at school, high school and the beginning of my college years until I ran out of my parents claws; and it wasn't because of the name calling in public, that I could bear, but the fights over who used the computer the most was the reason, but that's another story.

Up til this date, from time to time when I speak to my dad over the phone he says "How's my Little Spider doing today?", but I don't mind, it just brings me good memories when I was a little girl, a teenager and a partial adult.

A few years ago when my dad showed me a baby picture of me when I was a week old, the first thing I said was "Dad, you were right, I look like a baby tarantula".

Man was I an ugly little baby; good thing my mom didn't see me first or she would've thought she gave birth to a mutant spider.

Happy Tuesday Everyone!

Friday, March 04, 2005

The Friday Quickie!

It is friday right?...

Thank the omnipresent it's friday. Damn I'm getting old, I'm thinking, in two months I'll be 26 and 4 years more I'll be 30. Damn!

So my boss flew to Australia this morning, hope he brings me one of those little squeezy Koala bears as a souvenir. I thought yesterday I would be so happy he will be off for two whole weeks but now that he's gone I miss him already, and how can I not? he was stuck to me like a leech for the last couple of weeks asking a bunch of questions about his trip.

Anyway, I must start planning my spring break vacations, it's between reading bunch of books or cleaning my house or sleeping. It's so hard to choose.

Happy Friday Everyone!

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Damn Book!

I'm loosing it, I know I'm loosing it...

Sunday I went to buy me some lunch time entertainment, books (geeky) I bought 4 books which 2 were about psychology and the other 2 were about theological science. I was drooling when I saw a 6 volume book about the relation between science, religion and Philosophy but it’s was a 100 dollars and I could not afford it, either was the book or my washer machine; I had to go for the washer, the book will have to wait later.

So I had no other choice but to buy the other books which are ok but not so much. When I went back home I started reading a book with the title “How we are and how the people sees us”. I have a rule that is irrefutable, if a book makes you fall asleep is one of two things, either is not the book you’re interested in or the book is way crappy; in my case I was interested in the subject but the book was good to use as toilet paper, it’s so bad I can’t finish it, it’s worst than crappy, it’s….yeah you get my point.

The book is all about the way we reflect our personality in a negative way and it doesn’t give us any guide on how to change that bad reflection of ourselves, it just gives a bunch of depressing examples on a routine life where the woman is always the victim and it tells us how we should answer to those people who are aggressive towards our bad reflection. WTF! I bought a feminist book, I am against feminism and I am reading this crap? You have got to be kidding me! Actually this book is not being friendly with depressed people, it takes their lower self esteem down the drain with all those crappy explanations. So yesterday was the last day I read that book, I am going to exchange it for something more interesting, I’ll see what they have.

And I am going to sue that damn editorial for giving me a bad influence, last night I fixed Bf a sandwich for today’s lunch and invited him for dinner last night and well he knows he doesn’t deserve it. Damn book! Next thing I’ll know I’ll be cleaning his dirty laundry again and forget he left me sleeping alone. Damn freakin’ ass book!

I’m so angry with myself for not being hard on myself. I’ll have to think of something quick, or is it that I am loosing my temper as I’m getting older? Damn book!

From now on, I’m going to blame that damn book for everything that happens to me and my relationship with BF. Damn book!

Changing subject here…

There’s a new guy in our building, this guy is doing his college practice in the production area, his name is Ramses, yes, that’s right, Ramses, what kind if twisted mind did this guy’s mother had when she thought of naming his son Ramses? Hell no! Anyway, all the girls in my company (we’re 7 girls) say he’s so cuuute; I think all of them freaking women need glasses, it’s either that or they haven’t have fresh young men’s blood besides them for a long time now; the guy is 21 years old, he’s a baby between all of the parrots except for me I’m the lil’ole one in the company I’m just 25, the rest are over 30. He looks kinda arab, Drama queen says she likes him for me, no thank you, I’ve had enough middle eastern sperm in my body to think I want some more, I think I’ll pass, although it would not be a bad idea to begin the bad side, the dirty flirting side if you know what I mean; I already know he’s kind of attracted to me because every time he talks to me for something he’s always giggling like a nervous little girl, so it wouldn’t take me much of an effort to have his attention. I’ll think about what I’m going to do have some fun, in the mean time, I’ll just flirt around with the guy and see what I get from him.

Damn book!

Happy Thursday Everyone!

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Correction!

This is no fun…

Alright, I have to make some adjustments in my life now because is no longer fun, I have so much time in my hands and I don’t know what to do with it. Sure I would sign in to the gym cause I really could use some weight off my body but I’m too lazy for that. Or I could join a study group but unfortunately there aren’t any in my hood, so now I’m so stuck inside my parents home and that’s exactly the least place I needed to be. Not only do I have to show my “yes I screwed up and I’m sorry for making you think you’ll have grandchildren soon” face in front of them but also I have to listen to their crap about the crap I made with my life after I decided I would love me instead of loving BF.

“There, there sweetie, soon you’ll get over it and find someone else who will be worthy of you”.

Crap!

As I no longer make lunch for 2 it makes it easier for me to make a quick unhealthy sandwich for myself and have the rest of the afternoon off; the same will happen over the weekend as I will no longer do the laundry for 2 but only my tiny little undies so I’ll have tons of hours free to poke my face for pimples. Of course I know that will never happen because my dad is already planning on moving me in with them. I don’t think so dad.

It took me a lot of time and effort to be alone and enjoy my loneliness to have it go away just like that, oh no.

With all of this you think I broke up with BF but actually that’s not exactly what happened. We had a very nice “chat” about how big a mistake it was for him to move into my house and after he told me that living together didn’t mean he had to spend the night every day because he is not my husband and I am not his wife but only a friend (excuse me!) we (him) decided he should move out, but he will stay in my house until he finds another job and a place he can afford in the US because the man is tired of coming back and forth and waking up so early in the morning he doesn’t have enough time to rest (that’s why he spends the night at his “nephew’s” house-let’s call it that- at least once a week).

Now I don’t take crap from anybody, you already know that; and my lack of trust towards anybody is huge so why BF should be the exception? That’s the reason why we had that nice “chat”.

So we are only partners huh? Ok, well that means it’s not my responsibility to cook for him or clean for him or wash his stinking clothes right? Because I’m nothing more than a friend. Boy was I wrong for two freaking long years!

I’ll clear out something for those who live outside my country and have a different perception of living together.

My culture, although is trying to live the western style still has very strong morals and thoughts about a couple living in together without marriage, which is not exactly a very positive thing to do. As I live in the border and influenced by the American Culture I don’t mind much if I a decide to live with someone before marrying him, but that doesn’t mean I am going to keep unmarried for long, it’s just a test of whether the relationship will last or not and to make sure I am marrying the right man. It means that I will only live with the man I have chosen to be my husband, is not a simple light decision of a temporary thing because he's the boyfriend at the moment.

My parents are made the very old fashioned way, when I told them I was living with somebody fortunately none of them had a heart attack but my mother was very devastated and my dad disillusioned by the fact he would not take his little girl to the altar dressed in white as he thought he would. And the thing that they keep my relationship with Bf as a big secret between the family members has a lot to say about what they think.

So my task for this week will be going back to my old ways, looking back to my friends and see what they’ve been up to in the last couple of years and try to get my social life back together.

So, where’s the party at this weekend? Count me in ‘cause I’m going!

Happy Humpday Everyone!

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Peak of Perfection!

That doesn’t exist in this world…

I don’t consider myself a perfectionist but a few of other psychoanalysis, personality and other psychological tests have proven I am a freaking perfectionist and I am hard to change it, but still I don’t consider myself a perfectionist, maybe I dig very deep into details but I am definitely not a perfectionist.

I’m so stuck into it that I get angry every 3.5 seconds of my life, even when I’m sleeping-that’s gotta suck!- so that’s why I can never get along with anybody, I must see what kind of defective mind that guy/girl has and if I don’t like anything in particular I cut everything through the root and the rest is history : “Remember this guy, you know, that used to bla bla bla?” Uh, no, who the hell is that? (am I clear?)

I’ve been in and out of relationships for a while now, not too long but enough to assure I rather be alone than being with somebody I am going to disapprove at the first itty bitty mistake he/she makes. In my life, I hardly make mistakes, and when I do I regret it pretty bad.

So the biggest mistake I’ve done over the years of my adulthood is self-neglect, I’ve neglected myself by not paying attention to my own needs. Oh do I regret it much, I regret it, a lot, so much I fell into depression the last weekend and felt my life so miserable and un-worthy of living, but not anymore.

Starting yesterday I’ve been loving me, pampering me, taking care of me and careless of the rest, sounds selfish? Not really, actually the self-neglect is a symptom most women suffer at their adulthood till the end of their lives, they think they are needed and are indispensable to others around them, so they forget about themselves and forget they have a life.

I’m an old fashioned girl, with old fashioned morals and old fashioned customs, although I don’t practice my beliefs I stick strictly to them and I am expecting the rest of the people around me to respond in the same manner (that’s why I get angry every 3.5 seconds).

Anyway, the amusement of having somebody beside me for over two years has struck my family entirely, as they thought no man could stand my expectations and stand my anger attacks, I really don’t know why they think that so if I don’t get that angry you know, just every 3.5 seconds; actually I am very tolerant when it comes to love relationships (unless he makes me really angry), I try to be understanding, and protective and careful with everything I do (as long as he does what he’s supposed to) so I don’t make them angry, but that’s what made me neglect who I am, who I really am, a psychopath of perfection.

Friday the bomb exploded, my perfection freak side bloomed like a beautiful mortal biochemical bomb, without anybody expecting it, not even BF, and sure enough it was a biochemical bomb, no noise, no explosions, no nothing, I was silent, very silent, so silent it was scarry; BF doesn’t know the consequences, he sure will know by time. Too bad I don’t care anymore.

Yoli is back with all the blooming greenfulness of herself!

Oh yes, I missed me, I missed me so much!

*singing*
I am so beautiful, to me,
Can’t I see? I am everything I hoped for…

Happy Un Perfect Green Tuesday Everyone!