Tuesday, February 15, 2005

To Fit or Not to Fit!

That’s no question for me…

Over the last 25 years of my insignificant life I’ve been isolated from any social activities or social patterns; actually I am an anti-social freak by nature and against anything that has to do with socializing. Although my mom says the contrary, that maybe when I was 5 I was abducted by aliens and changed her beautiful cheerful and sociable daughter for a bitter, mean and hermetic creature from underground.

Fitting in with society has never been an issue for me because I never ever made an effort to do so and as time goes by I am not going to do so either, is not as challenging as being all alone by yourself in a dark and small place called your own mind.

A lot of people prefer to be surrounded by the hideous noise of voices talking with each other, even though most of the time is pure gossip and pointless conversations instead of listening to their own thoughts and discover their evolving self, or maybe read something that will cultivate their minds and souls.

I am not that kind of people, and for this reason I am called a “Freak”, a “weirdo”, a “careless, egocentric, humorless person”, mind you, I’m very humoristic myself, just look at me for a minute and I’m always giggling at something (probably I’m mocking the person who’s wondering why I’m giggling), of course that looks odd because who would laugh or smile at “nothing” right? That’s what any other person thinks. And people can’t stand the pressure of being alone, that’s why they’re always on a search of a “Friend”(or at least that’s what those desperate people think they’re looking for) anywhere they go, the park, the line to pay the groceries, the ATM machine, at work, at school, at church, the restroom, so actually people like me are always hunted by the girl or guy who made eye contact with and that is very uncomfortable for me.

People who hang out with me as I mentioned before use me as a Kleenex (for not saying something worst like a waste basket, or a garbage dispenser); I don’t complain, I will admit is entertaining watching and listening people crying about their problems and me having to wipe their buggers…sometimes, as long as is not the same person all the time and it should only be for a few minutes but not all day (I’m quite intolerable when I’m with company for a long time) and besides, I’m not always a good company because all that people can hear from me when they’re talking are fractions of expressions like “I see”, “hmm-hmm”, “interesting”, “oh my”, “really?” And so on; and as I am not good at communicating my feelings to strangers, I never express what is troubling me or what I’m thinking (except for you the reader who have the privilege of reading my brain), some people get tired of just talking about themselves and they prefer to walk away as soon as they vent. I don’t mind, I didn’t earn my names in vain and that makes me kind of popular between the masses; and who doesn’t like to be popular right?

I’ll take as my nearest example and specimen the Drama Queen Mrs. Manufacturing Engineer who always cries about everything that happens to her and thinks she’s the Master of the Universe surrounded by her peons who will bow at her whenever she walks by. As I said earlier, I don’t follow the masses, I don’t care about anybody and much less of having friends in my place of work which could be misleading by other people as being egocentric. Drama Queen though she and I could match to perfection but she was wrong. At first her ego was elevated as I only did nothing but listen to her the entire hour of lunch break and part of the day talking and expressing badly about her work, the people in this work and everybody surrounding her even her family and as I never argued or said anything but “hmm-hmm” for about 6 months she thought I was captivated by her intelligence. But still with all that, she is another of those people who like to listen to the silly things people say, and like to join in and fit in with the rest even though she said she was the Omnipresent and the rest were low class monkeys and I was the only one worthy of her company (right).

The pressure of not having anybody to console you about your whining always ends up in moving on because you don’t know if you’re right or you’re wrong with what you’re doing or saying and that’s what happened to Drama Queen, she saw that everybody else was crying with her misery too and I was mute and careless as if I was not even there to listen, the end was inevitable. So guess where she is right now? Yes, with those low class monkeys she so called and looks like she fits in just fine.

And I am back with my book on how to dig a hole and live my life in underground because that’s where I fit perfectly.

Happy Tuesday Everyone!

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