Monday, February 28, 2005

Why Am I Here?

I need an answer…

A few things happened last week that reminded me my life is not for granted (a big car accident 5 minutes after I passed the main road on my way home that killed 10 people and injured many children; my father talking how he was so close to death from a wrongly diagnosed peritonitis 3 years ago, my half broken relationship with my current boyfriend) and that anything can happen to it if I don’t pay attention to my surroundings physically and emotionally; I should take care of my life and myself by when my time to go comes I can give my life back being sure I made good use of it.

I’ve been precautious with my own life by not trusting anybody and those who have been “privileged” to be trusted by me have failed to me in one way or the other, so I learned I should not trust anybody, even myself but I should only trust one, Him.

I learned at a young age I cannot have what I want, and I must accept what life gives me and be grateful and happy with it although most of the times I don’t accept what life has offered me.

I never thought I could feel fear of what will happen to me in the future and at this very moment I am frightened I might end up needing physical or mental help when I get old enough to not be able to take care of myself anymore.

That’s when I feel horrified and that’s when I feel I am against nature, against life, against society itself, the putrid society we’re living in.

As much as I try to get away from what disgusts me I can’t, life, nature, humanity must socialize, without it we’re nothing. It rages me to know I am not the master of my life, I can’t control my life and I can’t make my life to be as I need it to be; my lack of trust doesn’t help me, it harms me, it harms me to the point I don’t trust Him; I know I should, but it frightens me what He has for me at this very moment.

Many times I’ve thought I am not worth to keep here, I should disappear from this place I don’t belong, what is my life here worthy of? Why does He have me here? If it is to teach others what I know and what my powers are then I am not helping because I feel nobody is worthy of my knowledge, a knowledge the most people think is useless and difficult to follow, just like I feel myself right now, useless and difficult to follow.
But I tried, I tried many times with a negative response; what am I doing wrong?

I should learn to trust, but I can’t, and it’s something I must improve, I must Trust Him before is too late.

But like I said to someone, at least I’m not that psycho, sure I’m a germophobic but I haven’t get to the point of recruiting myself in my house and never get out of there unless I have a bucket of Lysol on the side, though I am not that far from doing it, or I haven’t slept with ear plugs because I’m afraid a roach or a bug might find my ear comfortable enough to live in it and I still have hope that someday I will be happy of being in this place where He sent me to do my job right. I will do, I promise.

Happy Sunny Monday Everyone!

Friday, February 25, 2005

Friday Quickie!

I'm Alive...I'm Alive...

Humor is down today, no mood for writing, my head has been playing tricks on me and I must shut down the voices that keep bugging me since last night when BF called to say he wouldn't spend the night at home.

I must repair the mental shocks or I'll end up banging my head against the wall...pretty soon.

Medical insurance says it won't cover any damage if its caused by suicide, so I guess I'll have to put away the rasor blades I had kept for a while now.

Oh well,

Happy Friday Everyone!

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Wednesday Splat!

And I barely made it…

I was going to post about how I woke up at 3 am with half of my body numb and I freaked out because I thought I was having an embolism attack, blaming the “Extreme” (I laugh at the word) weather conditions here in the South of Baja but fortunately it wasn’t an attack of any kind, just I slept wrong and I must have twisted some nerve in my spine or something that made half of my body feeling little ants inside my skin but that was it.

Anyway, I think now I really am getting some of that thing, just as I was heading to the road on my way to work there’s this big line of cars and a few of them making a U-turn in the middle of the street, me thinking that it was a car accident or some dead body squashed on the pavement I waited; it was not the case, it happens that the rain has been so constant it hasn’t let the soil dry enough to hold the roads, so last night or maybe this morning the pavement collapsed and turned into a huge crater in the middle of the main road, it looked like as if a meteor landed there. As we don’t have many concrete roads but just the main ones, the only way out of there is through the mountains, those muddy sliding mountains that collapse every time there’s a storm of this kind, and well as it’s muddy the only cars that can go through are the 4 x 4 or a Hummer, my car is no 4 x 4, nor a 2 x 2 or a 1 x 1 and definitely Hummers are no way near existence yet in my country; my tires are as flat and cracked as a used pan just like the rest of the other cards in front or behind me (at least I’m not alone) so there’s no way in the law of Physics that will say I can go up those muddy hills without sliding down and bumping into the cars behind making a huge domino effect. Fortunately there were enough rocks to hold me so I could go through.

Image how tense it is when you have an old car with useless tires and the weather is not being any friendly with the roads and the drivers.

I’m going to die of a heart attack one of these days.

Happy Humpday Everyone!

Monday, February 21, 2005

I’m So Wet!

Not that you…

I know you were making crazy thoughts with the title of my post, but the content of my post is nothing sexual actually, thanks to Jamie my libido disappeared after she told me the anus can expand so much you can fit two hands in it. Agh! Mental image…undo…undo…undo!

As I was saying, before I was abruptly interrupted by the image of an anus expanding-scream-; ok, now I have forget what was the purpose of this post and why I mentioned I’m so wet. I know it has something related with the rain and the water that gets into my house from under the door and that I need a new umbrella because the high winds turned it into crap but definitely had nothing to do with sex, or an expanding anus (scream!).

Bah, I’ll remember sooner or later.

Happy Monday Everyone!

Friday, February 18, 2005

Friday Quiiiiiickie!

That made my brain shrink...

I'm posting at this early time because Bloggeerrr hasn't let me post anything for the last two days and it was starting to annoy me and send everything to hell like I always do when something doesn't go as I want, 'cause that's how I am, if something or someone doesn't do what I say I just throw it to the garbage, even if it's a human being, I carry it and drop it straignt in a big ass garbage can. You hear me BF?? I'm going to drop you to the garbage truck and see who adopts you next!

It's been raining like crazy all night and I forgot to put a towel under the entrance door, when I woke up this morning I felt I was drowning, alot of water was invading my sacred home and it almost got inside my holy sacred bedroom and interrupt by sacred beauty sleep. Next time I'm buying me an inflatable bed just in case.

By the way, do you know what if feels like to have two people working all over you? I do, and it's not pretty I tell you. It would have been gorgeous if there were two hot muscular men working all over but it wasn't that way, I had my old boss and another old geek working all over me, that's so disgusting.

Happy Humid Friday Everyone!

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Wednesday Splat!

This one is new…

It will be more like a Friday quickie but a little bit longer than that. Friday quickies will always be quickies; which reminds me, I haven’t had any quickies for a long time now, but who’s counting?

I have come to a conclusion that I can not and I will repeat, I can not take care of any living creature, I mean any, not even a damn cactus. I’ve had all these sorts of pets, shame on me!

When I was 4 years old my mom bought me 2 baby chicken, oh they were cute with their little colored hair, one was blue and the other one bright pink, I loved my chicken, they were my favorite pets, then one day, they died.

When I was 5, my mom bought me a white rat, I was happy with Minnie the rat, she was my best friend, I took her everywhere I went; then one day, the neighbor’s dog ate my rat.

When I turned 6 one of my mom’s dog had puppies, I kept one and called it fluffy, it was so sweet and tiny, but the happiness did not last for long, one morning my brother took out the car and didn’t see fluffy used to sleep behind the tires. That was an ugly scene.

When I turned 8 my brother and sister gave me a cactus for a present, I was happy with my cactus, I sang songs to it, took it to my room and took care of it; what could have happen to a cactus right? You just have to put a few drops of water every week and that’s it. Well, one day I went on vacations with a cousin and I gave my mom the cactus to take care of it while I was away, she thought cactus supposed to be watered like regular plants. She drowned my cactus.

2 years ago I had a cat, which I loved very much but my work would absorb all the time I would have to take care of my cat and sometimes I ever forgot to feed it; a few months later I had to gave away the cat to an elderly couple because the poor cat would die of starvation if I kept it longer.

Now I have a plant, a beautiful plant my aunt gave me as an open house present, yes I am taking care of it alright, but the humidity and the cold weather and no sun made my plant to grow fungus and it’s dieing; and with all the background I have of killing my own pets I am sure my plant will die, soon, very, very soon.

I am thinking seriously of not having children ever, they maybe eaten by a dog, or grow fungus or be squashed by a tire or maybe I’ll forget to feed them or water them, that wouldn’t be nice, then I would have to go to jail for child neglect.

Happy Humpday Everyone!

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

To Fit or Not to Fit!

That’s no question for me…

Over the last 25 years of my insignificant life I’ve been isolated from any social activities or social patterns; actually I am an anti-social freak by nature and against anything that has to do with socializing. Although my mom says the contrary, that maybe when I was 5 I was abducted by aliens and changed her beautiful cheerful and sociable daughter for a bitter, mean and hermetic creature from underground.

Fitting in with society has never been an issue for me because I never ever made an effort to do so and as time goes by I am not going to do so either, is not as challenging as being all alone by yourself in a dark and small place called your own mind.

A lot of people prefer to be surrounded by the hideous noise of voices talking with each other, even though most of the time is pure gossip and pointless conversations instead of listening to their own thoughts and discover their evolving self, or maybe read something that will cultivate their minds and souls.

I am not that kind of people, and for this reason I am called a “Freak”, a “weirdo”, a “careless, egocentric, humorless person”, mind you, I’m very humoristic myself, just look at me for a minute and I’m always giggling at something (probably I’m mocking the person who’s wondering why I’m giggling), of course that looks odd because who would laugh or smile at “nothing” right? That’s what any other person thinks. And people can’t stand the pressure of being alone, that’s why they’re always on a search of a “Friend”(or at least that’s what those desperate people think they’re looking for) anywhere they go, the park, the line to pay the groceries, the ATM machine, at work, at school, at church, the restroom, so actually people like me are always hunted by the girl or guy who made eye contact with and that is very uncomfortable for me.

People who hang out with me as I mentioned before use me as a Kleenex (for not saying something worst like a waste basket, or a garbage dispenser); I don’t complain, I will admit is entertaining watching and listening people crying about their problems and me having to wipe their buggers…sometimes, as long as is not the same person all the time and it should only be for a few minutes but not all day (I’m quite intolerable when I’m with company for a long time) and besides, I’m not always a good company because all that people can hear from me when they’re talking are fractions of expressions like “I see”, “hmm-hmm”, “interesting”, “oh my”, “really?” And so on; and as I am not good at communicating my feelings to strangers, I never express what is troubling me or what I’m thinking (except for you the reader who have the privilege of reading my brain), some people get tired of just talking about themselves and they prefer to walk away as soon as they vent. I don’t mind, I didn’t earn my names in vain and that makes me kind of popular between the masses; and who doesn’t like to be popular right?

I’ll take as my nearest example and specimen the Drama Queen Mrs. Manufacturing Engineer who always cries about everything that happens to her and thinks she’s the Master of the Universe surrounded by her peons who will bow at her whenever she walks by. As I said earlier, I don’t follow the masses, I don’t care about anybody and much less of having friends in my place of work which could be misleading by other people as being egocentric. Drama Queen though she and I could match to perfection but she was wrong. At first her ego was elevated as I only did nothing but listen to her the entire hour of lunch break and part of the day talking and expressing badly about her work, the people in this work and everybody surrounding her even her family and as I never argued or said anything but “hmm-hmm” for about 6 months she thought I was captivated by her intelligence. But still with all that, she is another of those people who like to listen to the silly things people say, and like to join in and fit in with the rest even though she said she was the Omnipresent and the rest were low class monkeys and I was the only one worthy of her company (right).

The pressure of not having anybody to console you about your whining always ends up in moving on because you don’t know if you’re right or you’re wrong with what you’re doing or saying and that’s what happened to Drama Queen, she saw that everybody else was crying with her misery too and I was mute and careless as if I was not even there to listen, the end was inevitable. So guess where she is right now? Yes, with those low class monkeys she so called and looks like she fits in just fine.

And I am back with my book on how to dig a hole and live my life in underground because that’s where I fit perfectly.

Happy Tuesday Everyone!

Monday, February 14, 2005


Oh El Amore...

Although is late but I did not forget.

Happy Valentines day to ya all!

P.S. Don't be so obvious with the whipped cream and the gummy bears and the yoghurt. Do what I do...nothing!


Happy Monday Everyone!

Friday, February 11, 2005

Ausy Friday Quickie!


Yeah I’m starting to learn some Australian terms. Today I haven’t done more than being an Australia immigration expert. My boss has now known he may not be able to go to the country of marsupials because his visa application takes 3 weeks to process and was not aware of that until today, 2 weeks away from his trip. Groovy isn’t it? Their visa applications are 11 pages long not including the medical exam – how about that for being picky eh? - Not to mention he needs to send it by mail.

Yep, that’s how all the first world countries are, that’s why my country is I think the fifth world country in the furthest planet of the universe; anybody can get in for free, “why bother our foreigner tourists if that’s what the Mexican citizens are for?” - the government thinks – “let’s give that work to our own people so when ever they need for example social security or any other government service they will need to fill out these innumerable and useless forms so they think we are a first world country and their self esteem is higher”.

Happy Friday Everyone!

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Thanks Pup-pet!

By petition of my dear friend Pup-ourri, here it is…

10 Random songs in your library
1. Dido – Thank you
2. Alicia Keys – A Woman’s worth
3. Barry White – My first, my last, my everything
4. Bryan Adams – Everything I do, I do it for you
5. Bee Gees – Stayin’ Alive (shut up)
6. Gipsy Kings – Baila Me
7. Gloria Stephan – Words get in the way
8. Kylie Minogue – In your eyes
9. Madona – Secret
10. Marilyn Manson – Tainted Love

1. What is the total amount of music files on your computer?

183 files at work and about 800 at home.

2. The last CD you bought is:

Enigma – The Remix Collection

3. What is the song you last listened to before this message?

Lenny Kravitz – Black Velveteen

4. Five songs you often listen to or that mean a lot to you…(this list is so corny!)

1. Enya – Only time
2. ?? – Horny
3. Michael jackson – Speechless
4. Savage Garden – Truly, Madly, Deeply
5. Rosana – Hoy (today)

5. Who are you going to pass this stick to (3 persons) and why?

I, unlike Pup-erto here, am going to let anybody who wishes to fill this thing to do it so if they have nothing productive to do. I didn’t have much productivity and I had to decide between answering this quiz or listening to Manufacturing freak crying about her sick dog.



I can’t believe it’s Thursday already, tomorrow is Friday and the next day after that is Saturday (just in case you forgot).

We’re having a nice rainy weather outside and cold as the North Pole here in the office, although is raining and I forgot to bring me an umbrella I would like to go outside and stay there, it’s much warmer than here and I’m freezing my knuckles. I love rain.

Let’s see now, last night I ate an avocado sandwich with cheese, and I had a bad dream about my BF turning bald, and I was getting fired from work because my boyfriend was bald. No more avocados for me for dinner.

Also BF had a bad dream last night, he woke me up twice; he would not stop doing “Uuuuuuuh…Uuuhhhh…uuh…uuuuuhhh…UUUHHHH”

What the! I asked him what was wrong with him this morning and he said he didn’t know.

Maybe he saw a owl in his dreams or he thought he was a owl in his dreams. Maybe he was a owl in his past life.

Also this girl, Manufacturing Engineer came to my desk with a “face”, she gave me a report and before she could say anything I got up and left, she then went to put her “face” to my dear neighbor the whistling man and as soon as he turned his face to her and asked her what was wrong she began crying and sniffing “my dog is sick!” That was close, if I would have asked her what was wrong I would’ve had to stand in front of her listening to her problematic life with her sick dog while looking at her pathetic self crying. I hate people when they cry. But I love rain though.

I don’t need this now; today is a beautiful rainy day. I love rain; did I mention I love rain?

Happy Thursday Everyone!

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

I Forgot!

I’m going straight to hell…

Yeah, I forgot today is Ash Wednesday. I am not a religious person but I do respect it because my mom takes me to take the ash every year I am with her, what a pain, is not bad to be marked with something nice and significant like a holy ash but the bad thing is when I forget I’m wearing my gray ash cross on my forehead and I start scratching it.

I always end up with gray marks all over my face especially my nose (I’m allergic to ashes).

And to make worst, I made beef stew today for lunch, I can’t throw that away, it tastes too good to throw, besides, isn’t it a sin to throw away food?

Feliz Miercoles de Ceniza!



My office sounds like a concerto between Celt music (played by me) and Dido with a hint of a guy’s whistle (played by the guy whistling) and it ain’t pretty stuff over here.

So I went to both restrooms (ladies and gents) and I found nothing peculiar about those damn signs. What the hell is wrong with those sings, for a moment I thought they had obscene pictures of sexual parts but no, no pictures of sexual parts there, unless I went inside the restroom and then I would found a bunch of them but I’m not interested in going to check out that place.

As I mentioned before we had visitors last Friday and we received a big “Gracias” email. Yesterday a girl comes to my office weeping and sobbing, - you know me, the shoulder that’s always wet in this company from too many boogers crying over it - well, she got yelled at because there was no sugar for the coffee and she would probably be laid off for that. WTF! Although she did a great job with her regular work still she might get fired for not bringing the sugar for the coffee.

One of these days I will forget to bring the burritos for everyone in the office and maybe I’ll get fired because of that.

See what I mean when I say this is “Nutter” Industries?

Changing subjects here.

I’m going to rant about something that has bothered me for a long time now. It’s about death and the decisions we make to make it less painful.

Why is it when a dog, or cat or any other loved pet is put to sleep when its suffering from a bad illness and when a loved family member is suffering from a severe illness is not put to sleep just like your lovable pet?

Is it because is a human being and the dog is an animal? Aren’t people suppose to say “My dog is my best friend, he’s the only family I have, he’s is like a son/daughter to me” - This means that person is treating the animal like a human, am I wrong?

I don’t find the reason why put a loved pet to sleep although the excuse is “we don’t want to see it suffer”

Well, what about the loved person? What does that mean? People like to see their flesh and blood suffer so they do what ever is possible to not be put to sleep even though the person is suffering too much?

What I am trying to understand is, why make a fast and easy decision to put an animal to sleep when it suffers but when it comes to a human it’s made to suffer much, much more and wait until the body gives in and dies in pain. Why not do the same for pets like its done with humans? Let the animal die over it’s own natural cause even if its painful, that’s the way Mother Nature works.

People are not God to decide who dies and who doesn’t and under which circumstances what ever the reason might be.

Happy Wednesday Everyone!

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

After the long Break!

I make this announcement…

Can I go home now?

I just came back from a long, very and extremely long holiday, which lasted one day; our great Constitution Day Holiday (it was on Saturday but Nutter Ind. Gave us Monday off). I do admire the stay at home wives, I could never be one day without working although the very day I have to get back to work I wished I stayed in bed longer.

TV is so crappy in the mornings and part of the afternoon until night and I think if I had nothing to do but watch TV I would have committed suicide by now; what’s wrong with TV programming anyway? Talk shows all morning, soaps and the people’s court, why?. Thank technology for Internet (hurray!).

Is it the same in other parts of the world? After a long break, getting back to work is such a pain in the neck and everybody at Nutter Industries is so lazy today, it just feels in the air and it’s contagious.

The Visitors are gone and they left us this huge “Gracias” note in one email. Should I reply to them “De Nada” and ask them to send me those pictures they took of the restroom signs? I can’t stop looking at them now.

BF, my parents and I went shopping yesterday; my parents are getting married…soon, so we took them to have the rings cut to measure; then, we went to a bath, kitchen and bedroom store and boyfriend and I were fighting over a pillow, I don’t like feather pillows, they’re messy, the feathers get loose and I have allergies, but boyfriend doesn’t want to change his feather pillow because his neck is sensitive…fine! Then we fought in the food court because he forgot to buy me a beverage, sure he got his but he didn’t get mine, how am I suppose to swallow my food? I got my sad puppy face but still that didn’t work and he preferred to share his than get up and get me one…fine! Last but not least we went to a shoe store, he wanted to buy a pair of horrible snickers, we fought again, I don’t like gray but my dad was persuasive with BF so he got his gray snickers…fine, I made him pay for my cool super killer brown snickers and a pair of sandals for my mom (sweet revenge).

My dad lent me a CD with instrumental music; the music in there is from those fancy department stores, you know with a little bit of piano there and a violin here and a little flute over here, and I’m playing it right now, my office sounds like a fancy department store. I feel badly dressed now; I should have wore the nice clothes…damn this music is depressing.

Happy Tuesday Everyone!

Friday, February 04, 2005

Friday Quickie!

On a quick note…

We’re having visitors today at Nutter Industries, a bunch of SalesReps from Europe that want to see the new and improved Mexican style manufacturing company.

Everybody is taking pictures of everybody; that I can totally agree with, but through my huge window I just saw one man taking pictures of the restroom signs both of women and men; now if I had a camera on hand I would have taken a picture of the guy taking the pictures of the restroom signs just so you know I am not making this up.

Aren’t those signs internationally known?

Now that is odd.

Question: How can I enable the permission the ISP administrator took away from me? I'm very pissed about this you know!

Happy Friday Everyone!

Thursday, February 03, 2005

Family Talk!

Speaking of family…

I went to my parent’s house last night and like every time I go there we end up talking about weird things. We stared talking about how my teeth are cracking in to little pieces and how if I don’t get to do something about it soon, one day I will see myself like in the looney toons cartoons where Silvester the cat eats a sandwich with a brick inside and all his teeth fall off; then we switched to my dead aunt and her plastic teeth and her bad breath to end up talking about belly buttons and the weird sensations we feel when we touch it, which lead us to a big dilemma: What is behind a belly button anyway that makes us feel icky every time we touch it?

I must confess the intriguing question didn’t take my sleep away last night as I was way too tired to think of it but I promised my father I would check it out on the Internet and see what I could find about it. What use can it have now that we are out of our mother anyway? Sure is a weird piece of flesh that’s inside our tummy and it’s kind of entertaining when you have nothing to do and you start taking the lint out of it but other than that I don’t see what’s the use of keeping a belly button. In Anatomy class they taught us the functions of all the parts of our bodies with too many details but our teachers never told us anything about the belly button.

So what’s so special about a belly button that plastic surgeons don’t even touch during a tummy tuck? Is it for beauty reasons? Is it possible that is an emergency kit in case we can’t breath through our lungs and we can breath through it? Or is it possible to make a hole through it and be able to go to the bathroom without taking our pants off? That would be a fantastic discovery but no, I don’t think that’s it.

Although I didn’t make much of an effort to find a reasonable answer I found this. And still I am not very satisfied with the answer. I think there must be something more in a belly button than being just a lint catcher. Is like asking the famous question of “How many licks does it take to get to the toosie roll center of a tutsi pop?”

The world may never know.

Happy Thursday Everyone!

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Food and People!

I don’t relate…

What is it with society and eating together? I just don’t get why everybody gathers around to eat together to share their tragedies at lunch time. Since I left my parents house to live my life as a junked ho I ate alone, I mean alone, like nobody around me ever, I kept myself that way even at work, people would look at me like “Uh, poor girl, maybe she smells bad and nobody wants to sit with her”. FYI, I shower every day even twice.

Is not that I don’t enjoy company of people around me, I really do, but only when I feel like listening to things I don’t care about and want to know what the neighbor next door is doing with its life, then I realize their lives are more pathetic than mine and at that point I wished I disappeared from their sight or hit myself on the table till I faint to stop the torture.

Like one time many months ago, I was new at Nutter Industries and just met this, how can I explain, this creature from planet of the apes, oh yeah, the manufacturing engineer and well she is not so popular with the masses here at Nutter Ind. So the only pray she could see was I. While eating my perfectly packed lunch especially fixed by me here she comes, sitting on my perfectly selected table. Ok, no problem, she can sit here if she wants as soon as she doesn’t speak or I’ll get indigestion. My wishes hardly ever come true, she was talking to me about how our boss called her attention because she didn’t go to his office when he needed her. “Can you believe this? He was angry and he told me when ever he needed me I should be there no matter what”- Almost sobbing and chewing her chicken- I dropped my fork and stopped chewing so she could continue venting; at this point she was crying and absorbing the mucus from her nose. “You should stop being a drama queen, didn’t your parents ever yelled at you when you did not obey to their orders?”

Do I really need this, at this time, at this sacred time of the day? Why doesn’t she choose the other guy who is desperately looking around for someone to sit with him (actually he does smell funny), why me?

This does not only happen with her, it happens with everybody who sits with me, like I have a huge sign on my forehead “If you have problems, come and talk to me, I am here to listen”.

Another time when I was sitting alone eating my tuna fish, this girl comes over and sits with me. “Men are such dicks, last night my boyfriend and I were fighting and he dumped me in the middle of the street at 3 am, he doesn’t care about me, he called me names, your boyfriend is like that too?”-Sobbing and again the mucus thing- “Uhm no, he’s not on drugs”.


“Oh look, remember I told you I wanted to have a boobie lift?” –Flash- All of a sudden, the meatballs my mother cooked for me are no longer desirable.


“Remember I told you I had problems going to the bathroom? I have a yeast infection, what medication should I take for that?” I’m not hungry anymore.

And last but not least…

“My husband came back from his trip last night and I banged him like a crazy monkey, I think I’m getting pregnant, I must be pregnant, I mean he was so sexy with that tiger thong he brought from that trip I just did him…” I still laugh when I see her husband every time he picks her up from work.

See, that’s why I like to eat alone, I just hate to have mental images while I’m eating my perfectly made lunch.

Happy Humpday Everyone!

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

The Security of Our Country!

Pft Yeah Right…

I heard on the news last Friday The US Ambassador in Mexico released a letter of notice to all the US citizens to be careful of coming to visit Mexico because of the tremendous insecurity and massive kidnapping that has been going on lately.

Maybe the US Embassy should issue a booklet to the neighbor Americans on how to take precautions when coming over and avoid kidnappers, just like the Mexican Immigration Department issued a little booklet on how to cross the border without papers.

Now that would be funny!

Funnier it is that as soon as that letter was issued to the public eye the Secretary of Exterior Relations in Mexico sent another notice to our nice President Fox with a FYI notice, just in case you didn’t know, you know. And well, now there’s a whole back and forth about why they had to do that for if we are the nice people who are always cooperating with you and why didn’t you tell me before you put this in public if we are dealing insecurity much better than we ever did over the last 76 years of government; it’s “The Time for Change” that’s the motto of the U.S.M. President who by the way is very upset about the comment the US Ambassador made about the insecurity of his country. (WTF, thousands of Mexicans were on a strike last year because they want insecurity to stop right now and a year has passed and there is no response to that, actually is getting worst)

The fact is, that we do not know how to deal with “visitors” and it shows after we deal with 12 British scientists who were caught trapped inside a cave in Puebla supposedly exploring a cave when they were really searching for Uranium without any permission from the Mexican Government to do so, and well, we were not even aware the British were inside snooping around our property (Hellooooo Mexican Immigration, where are ya when we need ya huh?). And, still knowing they were illegally exploring our caves, the Mexican Government gave them the privilege to call people from Great Britain to send a rescue team because the British scientists stated “the Mexican people are not trained to rescue in such conditions” (Excuse me, says who?). And, I’m not finished yet, with all this mess the Mexico Department of Immigration still didn’t know what to do with the British “scientists” (found most of them belonged to the British Navy seals and British Military, none of them scientists) and thought for about 5 days if they should revoke their visas or expel them from Mexico (in a temporary basis, not permanently God may punish us for that).

So with this, and now that, are we reliable? No

We know we are not reliable, the statistics show it. When the Asian Tsunami occurred, Mexico offered its help to search out the missing people to those countries that suffered the tragedy…all of them said No except for Indonesia, of course the help will arrive too damn late because the Government sent the rescue team by sea (no budget for airplanes or rescues of any kind, not even in our own country i.e. "British scientists") which by the way the rescue team is conformed by un-trained civilians who helped the Red Cross in the 1985 earth quake in Mexico City and were sent with no lunch money (guess the UNICEF will be feeding the mexican rescuers aswell) .

My suggestion to you all my sweet neighbors of the 1st. Class World, if you want to see the folklore of our country, go ahead, do it, just don’t bring all your belongings with you (we all know that), or talk to the Mexican Police (it's better if you talk to a complete stranger, they're much safer), or leave your car windows closed at night (phft duh!), or get out of the hotel for no particular reason after 10 pm (doing so may incurr into a high risk of getting robbed or rapped, that happens in every country) , or walk by a criminal neighborhood (unless you want to commit suicide).

Mexico is as safe as the rest of the countries; yes we are ranked 2nd country with the most kidnapping level, but then again, which country has the most ranked level for terrorism attacks in the world? Or which country ranks the most dangerous for being so violent? You think.

Happy Tuesday Everyone!