Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Nightmare on 50% Off Street!

I’m not kidding…

How beautiful to spend your money on something you know it was a great deal and a bargain; the best quality at the lowest price ever at the best of the best of department stores. I’m not talking about good will, I’m not talking about the Salvation army store and I’m definitely not talking about a flea market. I’m talking about a good Department store. I wanted to buy a new comforter for the winter and I kept looking and searching for one that me and my boyfriend would like, it took me around 30 minutes to search for a King Size comforter, cause there weren’t any, all of them where twin size and full size; suddenly I turn around and there it was this beauuutiful Persian style comforter 50% Off it’s original price, and it was the only color, only size, and it was going to be mine, all mine, just for me; so I didn’t thought about it twice, I just grabbed it and took it home with me along with other great deals. I was the happiest woman on earth to be that lucky.

I get home; I unwrap my comforter and take it all out to put it on my bed. I take one pillow case and I take the comforter out, and where’s the other pillow case if there’s supposed to be 2 pillow cases in a king size comforter. I checked the plastic bag; I check inside the comforter, I check inside the pillow case, maybe they putted in there. My boyfriend is looking at my hysterical face while I’m shouting, “Where’s the other pillow case dammit!” By then, I wanted to cry. I take a look at the pillow case like asking it “Where did you leave your little brother huh? Did I drop it? Why didn’t you tell me, where is it dammit?” So while interrogating the pillow case about it’s mate, I see this pillow case is not the size of a king size pillow case, it actually looks smaller, like a full size pillow case.

I check the comforter bag and it says King Size, that can’t be wrong then, it says King Size right there, so why is there a full size pillow case inside a King Size bag? Is someone trying to play a joke on me? This isn’t funny!

By this time my boyfriend is worried because I’m about to kill the pillow case for being a liar to me, so he calms me down; “Don’t worry”, he says, “We’ll keep the comforter and you just take the pillow cases back for exchange”. It’s not easy, is not like you’re going to take a pair of pants for exchange because they were short and you’re getting a larger size; No, it was a discounted comforter and they must be all gone by now.

With doubts on my mind I put the comforter on top of my bed and “Aha!” I exclaim, “This is not a King size comforter, this is a full size comforter, look at it, it barely covers the mattress, I know I’m not crazy” I’ve been tricked, played by a fool making me think if they put this comforter on a king size bag I will believe is a King size?

I don’t know if I should sue this department store for playing tricks on me or should I get my money back, because I don’t want any other comforter in exchange, that was the one I wanted, we were meant to be together, they played with my feelings you know.

So now I have to drive all the way back to that store, which is not near by, first it’s across the border, so I should go to the US, which means a 45 minute waiting in line, then answer a bunch of questions from the US inspector of where am I going and why am I going to the US and for how long am I staying in there and all that crap. Hey, is not like I’m going to kill anybody or put a bomb in there man, I’m just going to get this freaking King Size wannabe comforter back and take my money out of your country and back to my pocket. Then I should wait for someone to give me my money back and then come back. What a freaking waste of time.

I’m suing this store!

Happy Tuesday Everyone!

Thursday, November 25, 2004

FELIZ TURKEY DAY!

Who's having a 4 day weekend?...You are!...

Alright, this isn't going to be a long post because I'm busy, but still I want to wish you all Americans and non americans who anyway enjoy eating turkey a very Happy Thanksgiving holiday and weekend and all that crap that comes along with it.

I'm happy, 'cause I have no boss to piss me around so even I am getting a little bit of your holiday, woo hoo!

Eat alot and enjoy your days off

Happy Thursday Everyone!

Monday, November 22, 2004

Crappy Monday!

Yeah I stepped with the wrong foot today...

Ok, there was no friday quickie because I had a day off on Friday due to our Revolution Day Holiday so I didn't come to work and I spent most of the weekend at home.

But seems that all that rest didn't do any good to me this morning starting with my hair. I look like I belong to a family of lions because it's fluffy as hell and the weather is not dry at all. We have rain...again...oh yes believe it or not. California is sinking under the ocean i know it!

Then, this morning right before I started all my daily reports I needed to charge my stapler and I cut my midle finger...how? I don't know, all I know is lucky I didn't chop my finger in half along with my nail, I can't write very well because it hurts like hell and the cut is way down to the bone, I can see my own bone, isn't that cool? It would be if I didn't have the emergency to do these reports, I'm a lefty so this should be considered as a on the job accident and I should be sent home.

Anyhoo, as long as the building roof doens't fall over me or a rock hits my head or I don't slip on a banana peel I'm alright.

Happy Monday Everyone!

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Cell Phones for the Elderly!

They should have parental authorization…

3 months ago I “cancelled” (stopped paying my cell phone bill because they wouldn’t let me cancel it) my cell phone contract; I kept the receiver and I heard this great deal with this other company that was offering to change your old phone from another company for a brand new phone with their company so I thought of giving it a try, the only problem is that I haven’t had the time to do so because the offices close at 6 pm and by the time I get there is already 6:15 so the old phone with the “cancelled” line is still sitting on the kitchen counter waiting to be exchanged.

While I kept my promise of giving my dad that brand new phone, I guess my dad got tired of waiting for that to happen so he decided to buy his own cell phone yesterday. You might think, that the old cell phone will be then for myself as my parents have their own cell phone; well that’s not exactly how it goes, he still wants another phone. You see, my dad is a technology freak, so every new electronic little gadget that appears on the market he will dream of having it (he can’t buy them because his retirement money is not that much to buy everything he wants). About 5 years ago my dad bought two cell phones, one for my mom and another one for him; what was that for? So they could call each other if they needed something. My parents never spare apart, they go together everywhere, still, my dad wants the comfort of having two cell phones just in case one of them is missing somewhere.

One day I saw this entertaining scene:

Dad’s cell: Riing Riing!

Mom: Hello?

Dad: I was just checking if this cell phone is working alright.

Mom: Oh ok, where are you?

Dad: In the living room, how do I sound

Mom: You sound ok.

Dad: Good, whatcha doing?

Mom: Fixing breakfast

Dad: Whatcha fixing?

Mom: Scrambled eggs, toast and coffee

Dad: Sounds good, ok, I’ll hang up now.

30 mins later…

Dad’s cell: Riing Riiiing!

Mom: Hello?

Dad: I’m just checking again, can you hear me well?

Mom: Where are you?

Dad: I’m in the toilet, how do I sound?Mom: You sound ok

Dad: Whatcha doing?

Mom: Watching TV

Dad: What are you whatching? (Flluusshhhhh)

Mom: A soap opera

Dad: (Walks into the living room) is it good?

Mom: Yes, why don’t you join me?

Dad: (walks into the living room) Ok, I’ll hang up now.

30 minutes later….

Dad’s Cell: Riiiing Riiiing

Mom: Hello?

Dad: It’s me again. Can you call me? I want to know if this thing works alright.

Mom: Ok, but how do I work this thing

Dad: Ok let me go over there

Mom: Where are you?

Dad: I’m outside the house, how do I sound?

Mom: You sound ok to me

Dad: (walks inside the house, still with phone on hand and stands infront of mom) Ok, push this little red button you see on your right

Mom: Ok, (pushes the little red button)

Dad: Ok you just hung up on me, now call me

Mom’s cell: Riiinng Riiiiing

Dad: Hello?

Mom: Oooh! This is great! How do I sound?

Dad: (looking at mom) you sound great, see how easy this is?

Mom: Yes but you’ll have to walk me through it again when I need to.

Dad: Ok, I’m hanging up now.

Mom: Ok..bye.

Why can’t they just put two plastic cups and one big string and talk to each other like that, just like The Flintstones instead of wasting their money on the “How do I sound, I just want to check if this thing is working alright”

Parents, they’re just like kids when they get old

Happy Wednesday Everyone!

Monday, November 15, 2004

The Problems of Being Retired!

And old…

I really can’t believe how my mom can handle my dad so smoothly; I would be in the nut house by now if I were still living with my parents, especially with dad; I mean, dad is the kind of man who measures everything, I mean, .E.V.E.RY.T.H.I.N.G. My dad had this issue with the bed that could not bare to see because the bed skirt was not even with the floor because the bed was too short, so he put blocks of wood to make the bed higher, and it did work but my dad forgot to put the bed skirt back to its place, so he asked me if I could help him and so I did.

My dad saw the bed was not exactly even with the wall also and he asked me to push the bed a little bit, but as I did that the bed fell down from the blocks of wood my dad placed underneath the wheels of the bed…oops!

Dad: Oh! Look at that, it took me long time to put those in there

Me: Sorry dad, I thought you took out the wheels before you put the blocks in there, you should have told me. I’ll help you put them back.

Dad: Ok, but we’ll have the pick up the bed

What the hell is inside that bed that makes it so damn heavy? Does it have rocks inside or a dead guy in there? It is the heaviest bed you can ever imagine and is a king size bed; anyway we managed to take out the mattress and the bases. My dad loves to fix everything with either duck tape or scotch tape or anything that looks like a tape will do and he has big rolls of duck tape around the house because he uses a lot of it. So my dad had this great idea of taping the wheels with the wood together and he brought his big roll of duck tape. To make that part short, he finished the roll of duck tape not to mention it was a brand new roll, but he did join the wheels with the blocks though.

Now that was not the “big deal”, the big deal came when we were going to put the blankets over the mattress.

Dad: Ok, now see if this side of the blanket is even with the other side of the blanket sweetie.

Me: It’s even dad.

Dad: Are you sure? Cause later in the night your mom has more blanket than I have

Me: Ok, let me see (I go around the bed to see if the blankets are distributed evenly) They’re even dad.

Dad: Oh look, there’s too much blanket on the top and very little at the end; honey, can you come here a minute? (mom walks inside)

Mom: Yes dear?

Dad: what do you think? Should we leave the blankets like this or should we pull them down, but not too much because then we’ll have a huge bump under the mattress and you know how I am.

Mom: I think we should leave it that way; it looks ok to me.

Dad: Are you sure? ‘Cause then we pull the blankets and we leave our feet in the air and it’s cold at night.

Mom: Well then, we should pull them down if you think we should.

Dad: Yeah we should.

And the circus begins…

Dad: Now don’t pull too much or you won’t leave us enough blankets to cover the shoulders

Mom: Alright…is this ok?

Dad: Yeah but you pulled too much on the other side, now we’ll have to make it even and I think is too much, let’s see. (Dad goes around and practically measures the blanket to see how much mom pulled) You see? You pulled too much, I’ll pull it back (he pulls back)

Mom: Honey, the blankets are all wrinkled now you see?

Dad: We’ll get on that later, are the blankets even on the sides? Sweetie can you take a look and see if they’re even?

Me: Ok dad, (I go around the bed) It’s fine dad.

Dad: Are you sure?

Me: Yes dad, I’m sure

10 minutes later after leaving the blanket perfectly in place…

Dad: Now hand me the comforter sweetie please.

Mom: No, not like that, remember you we put it that way so the comforter didn’t fall on the floor? Put it the other way around now that the bed is tall.

Dad: Sweetie, can you check if the comforter is even on both sides?

Me: Yeah dad, is good.

Dad: Now can you check if the comforter is covering the blankets and the covers and is even with the bed skirt? We don’t want the blankets to show. Oh and also check if the bed skirt is on the floor, we don’t want the wheels to show either.

Me: (goes around and around and around the bed) Well the bed skirt is falling a little bit on the floor in this side but is not too much.

Dad: How much? About how many inches?

Me: I don’t know, 1/16 I guess?

Dad: We’ll have to pull the bed skirt from underneath the mattress to make it even.

Inner Me: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

That kept for around 30 minutes or so but you can get the idea of how my parents are regarding things, what ever. That shows, my dad doesn’t have much to do but to measure “things” and fix things with tape.

Though I would never change my parents for any other parents, they entertain me quite a lot.

Happy Monday Everyone!

Friday, November 12, 2004

It’s Quick, ‘cause it’s Friday!

Dedicated to Tricia…

It’s Friday, I’m so happy I could kiss my boss right now and give him a quickie but I won’t, he would die on me and also that’s too gross; plus someone would accuse me of murdering an old man and I could get into trouble. Everybody would think I did it because I wanted him to pay me the Christmas days off I’m involuntarily having but as he refused I had to please him with some hard core dirty hurtful sex when he died of a heart attack because he forgot to take his medication when he went upstairs for a coffee when he found the receptionist bending over to pick up the little red straws to stir the coffee and he just kept looking at her big round tight buns in those tight jeans when he found out he spilled the boiling coffee over his crotch and had a 1st degree burn, he had to run downstairs to H.R. to get some anti burn ointment for his wee wee, he then went to the mens room to rub the ointment but he found the mens room was closed for repair so he had to run all the way down to his office, he was in such a hurry he forgot to turn on the lights and lock the door, so when he pulled his pants down and was rubbing the ointment in his wee wee I walked into his office ‘cause I didn’t know my boss was there, so I heard this weird moaning sound, I turned on the lights and see the most disgusting thing ever and so I yelled “Oh my goodness, not only you don’t want to pay me for the days off but you’re also a pervert bastard!”. As I said that, the maintenance supervisor saw the whole scene from the window and called the Police, he accused me of murdering my boss by burning him and causing him a heart attack.

So you see? That’s why I’m not giving him any quickies, besides, there are a bunch of windows with no shades in this building and a bunch of little cameras looking at me funny.

If I sounded confusing that’s just you trying to make me think I’m confusing.

Happy Friday Everyone!

Thursday, November 11, 2004

I'm Beeeezeeee!

Beezee like a Beezee Bee....

This is horrendous, or how ever you spell that, is horrible I tell ya! I haven't have the time for anything. It's been crazy. My eyes are twisted I can't see well, I've been in the computer 10 hours straight and don't get any rest.

I think my butt is flat as a piece of wood.

Anyway, I just stopped by to check how the business is going on around here, this is like a Friday quickie but it really isn't so don't get all fuzzy and excited about it, we're still one more day till the weekend comes. (God I can hardly wait..wait a minute I just said God...twice...Agh! I need a vacation)

Speaking of vacations, the "Christmas Vacation Survey" dropped into my hands yesterday morning and believe me it was a ridiculous survey and it went something like this:

"This is a survey so we can have a better understanding of your needs for survival, you must only choose one of the following options.

You're standing in the midle of a railroad crossing over a very tight bridge and you're about to get hit by a train, what would you choose?

A. Get away from the rail road crossing and jump off the dry river bridge which is completely dry with no water.

B. Get away from the rail road crossing by running as fast as you can then jump off the dry river bridge which is completely dry with no water.

C. Other options? Please explain in Details:_______________

Disclaimer: Calling 911 on your cell phone is not an option, the reception there is very bad, the train conductor is deaf and also blind so there's no way you can make him stop at 300 mph. You may grow wings but this ain't heaven you know."

So this means yes, we're having a holiday Shut down and No, we're not getting paid for those days off.

Thank you.

Happy Thursday Everyone.

Monday, November 08, 2004

Why?!

I don’t know…

Friday afternoon, I am walking up to my boss’s office to tell him I’m working on Saturday to pay him back one of the two days I was off for the flu:

Me: Mr. Nutter Boss, I’m going to come tomorrow to pay you last Wednesday when I was sick.

Mr. Nutter Boss: And what are you going to do or what or what or what?

Me: I’m catching up on some pendings, I have and some delayed work and I’m going to work on the reports from this morning.

Mr. Nutter Boss: (Turns around on his chair and looks at the ceiling)

Me: Waiting for his answer

Mr. Nutter Boss: Still staring at the ceiling

Me: Still waiting…

Mr. Nutter Boss: Turns to look at me, then the ceiling

Me: Still waiting…

Mr. Nutter Boss: Makes a move as if he wants to tell me something, then looks at the ceiling

Me: I’m getting tired of still waiting…

5 Minutes later my boss kept looking at the ceiling:

Mr. Nutter Boss: Hmmm…No, don’t come tomorrow, keep owing me those days in case I really need you to stay for something important.

Inner Me: Nooooooooooo

Me: Are you sure Sir?

Mr. Nutter Boss: Yes, so let’s wait until that time comes.

Me: Ok

Inner Me: God dammit! I’m going to have to go to the Christmas party…f..ck!

In other news:

We’re having more rain, more mud, more holes, more cars without shocks and tires are running out of rubber. The end of the world is coming; California is going to sink inside the Ocean!

I’ll leave you with that thought.

Happy Monday Everyone!

Friday, November 05, 2004

Funkylicious Friday Quickie!

Now that’s the way uh huh, uh huh I like it…

At last the omnipresent didn’t turn its back on me, I’m happy. After the rotten avocado mood I was in yesterday we had our crappy Nutter Industries Informative Meeting for all personnel in the plant and guess what? We are working in December, Bwaahahaha.

Some people were sad, some were mad, others refused to work and preferred to resign; I was so stinking happy, although not so happy about the fact is really not a fact, yet but soon it will be. Some of the raisin brains in my company wanted to leave without pay, alright, and I thought they were the most in need of work but it looked like they didn’t.

So we are still on the way to know if the production personnel will want to work or not during the shut down; if there are a few who are willing to do it, it might as well better to shut down the entire plant as is not worth to open it with just 10 production workers around so we’ll see what they will come up with next. In the mean time I’m having my victory dance…wee!

In the same matter of the subject, I’ll have to work tomorrow, boo, I have to pay the days I was off when I was sick, what they don’t know is I’m not really working, I’m going to blog around till I stink, yeah!

Happy Funky Friday Everyone!

Thursday, November 04, 2004

Christmas is coming!

I hate Freaking Christmas...

Not only because is the most mushy time of the year but also because is the time when the mayority of the companies are shutting down for the holidays.

In my case, I've been in two companies already where they've shutted down without paying us for those days without work, of course is not their obbligation to pay us for a non-working day but is unfair when we as workers do not want to rest when we are in need of money.

At the other crappy joint I used to work, my crappy boss changed his mind every minute of the day; first he said there would be working days in december, then he decided we were not working in december and would shut down for 3 weeks without pay. That thought was since September of last year and the decision kept changing back and forth until december came over us and my crappy boss decided we would shut down for 3 three weeks, of course without pay, I was freaking mad that there were no plans for shut down like paying saturdays in advance or working the on holidays to pay off those days in december so we could have our salary but noooooooooo crappy boss didn't think about that. Ass H.

Now at Nutter Industries, they are doing the same shhhhit, they're thinking of shutting down one day and the next day they're saying we are working. Now this doesn't give me a chance to look for a part time job, I cannot affort to stay off for 2 whole weeks without my salary and I should look for another job in the mean time. Why can't they just make up their freaking old minds? Bastards!

They think everybody here works for pleasure, and of course we are not. If I worked here for pleasure of course I would not be working in this crappy position with this crappy joint called desk; and of course I would have my own freaking company and plan my own shut down, but I am not working for pleasure here people, I work for money, everybody here works for money, all of those who are in a lower position than a manager or a director are hardly getting a salary that is basically just to pass the week by very tight and we cannot affort the luxury of having a non paid 2 week vacation.

I'm so freaking green right now I could just tare this whole place apart and resign my job right now!

Blaaaahhhh!

By the way, for those who voted for Bush, congratulations, you have 4 more years to send your young family to war. For those who voted for Kerry, I'm sorry about that defeat.

Happy Thursday Everyone!

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Randomness!

I’ll pick what ever is there…

We’re having visitors today, around 10 old men, 3 of them are wearing wings the old dusty rug kind of wigs (can I pass a vacuum over their heads please?) another 2 are bald, pool balls bald (I just want to wax their little bald heads and see them squeaky clean), why did I notice? Well, it caught to my attention, with all this technology with hair implants and crap and these people are the owners of other companies who buy our product and they’re stinking rich, I am asking to myself, don’t they have any money to do something about it? I think they’re cheap.

What you looking at fool? Haven’t you seen a chick in a suit before?

I usually come to work in very casual clothes but never jeans. Today there’s something different, the owner of this company Mr. Nutter is here to take a look of what we have done to his plant with a bunch of the people I mentioned above. I am used to call up attention with there’s something big going in anywhere and I always like to dress up adequately in any event, is no big deal but still I’m wearing a suit. Now I’m pissed; whiny pants girl have been teasing me about the suit, “Uh you look son nice, where’s the party at”? (how sarcastic!) Stupid woman! You should know better, you’re not going to be well seeing if the boss looks at you with your extremely washed dockers and that hair…I know there’s air woman but there are these little things with lots of things stuck to it that’s called a brush?

I don’t understand what’s up with her that really annoys me, she’s weird and she thinks she’s the Queen of England with better class and education (my toosh!).

On another note:

I’m being a good neighbor, our neighbors from the North are having a big day today and I’m supporting what ever is best for their country, not only because I want to be a good neighbor but also because it will affect our country later on as well as other countries who are affiliated with the US. Now I don’t know about the red and blue areas but being an outsider and being able to see what’s going on behind the big metal fence that is dividing us I have a very good view of what is going on over there; I just hope my neighbors make a very good choice. I already have my favorite candidate and I hope he wins.

Good Luck America!

Happy Tuesday Everyone!

Monday, November 01, 2004

Flu Hangover!

Oh what a weekend…

I’m back, and I’m happy, happy I can go out and see the sunshine, happy I can smell the fresh polluted air from all the buses that go around without a smog check, happy that I can now get back to work on my delayed to do list that has increased now to the size of a big letter to santa….(eesssh)

This ain’t pretty no more. Not have I only stayed in bed for 5 days because of this flu but now I have to figure out a way to pay the 3 days I was off from work because of this flu. The new Biatch H.R. Manager wants to implement a new checking system for all the administration personnel in here including supervisors and managers in the plant, and everybody is refusing to do such horrible thing, that means we will have to check when we’re out to get out breakfast, or when we’re going to the bank and do a payment, or when we are off from work because of sickness which means if we are not checking our ins and outs it means “No Pay”.

I’m angry.

But I have no time to whine right now; I have tons of things to do today and the rest of the week besides getting angry at everybody. By the way, I want my Halloween candy; hope the girls saved my candy somewhere.

Happy Monday Everyone!