Tuesday, July 27, 2004

End of Month!

And the beginning of everything…

I hate the end of month, if some of you people work in an industry or work as an accountant you will know what I’m talking about.

Is the date when you have to re-arrange everything for the next month to come. It is where you find big, hell huge mistakes in all of your reports and you have to check item by item to find where the mistake begun and because you did not check that before because it was well hidden now you have to unbuild and rebuild everything all over again, from scratch since day one of the month before ‘cause if a little decimal does not match with the current plan you’re screwed and it means you’re an A-H. That’s right, and a big one.

That’s what it is when you work for a company that has to do with lots and lots of numbers. If some of you don’t work in an industry and think it would be a great idea to start working in one. PLEASE DON’T…It’s real hell in here.

So as it is already the end of the fiscal month and my boss thinks he’s the big Sheeat around here (which he really is but still I am in denial) he’s stepping on my feet to get the whole monthly package for the big pile of mud the big one the heavy shiieety boss (that means the VP). And I thought that being a Production Admin was a very easy job to do. Well I was wrong.

I miss being the Executive Admin for the Director, now I see the girl who is the Admin for the big boss and she’s so nice, so pretty, her hair is so well done, wearing high heels and nice suits and with her perfect manicure being so elegant and doing what I miss the most…nothing!

And here I am, with my nails broken and perfectly cut to the tip of my fingers because typos here are the worst mistake you could ever do in your life. Wearing working shoes because I’m not allowed with heels and open shoes at the production floor, regular working clothes and if it’s the oldest ones I can find in my closet the better it is because I have to walk through the areas that have lots of things that might ruin my clothes, etc. etc, etc.

But I’m not complaining, oh no, I’m just spitting out my stress, which will not end until the end of the week.

If I was Garfield I would have broken the ceiling by now, my company is testing the emergency alarm and as I was to expect, it’s right in my back. So image the sound it’s making at this very moment…I wished I were deaf!

Happy Tuesday everyone!

It is Tuesday right? Or is it Monday still?


Thursday, July 22, 2004

Yoli’s Flashbacks!

Back in the days…
I remember when I was little, maybe around 2o or 3 years of age, you know the age when you want to know everything and you ask “why” for what ever thing that crosses your mind. I didn’t use to ask much I remember that but I loved discovering things by my own.
Like for example:
I discovered when you eat ants they cause you stomach pain and a real bad diarrhea.
I discovered that eating the blue little things inside the powder detergent made me sneeze a lot and also caused me a bad diarrhea.
I discovered that Play Do tastes salty and really bad, but once you get used to the flavor, it’s not so bad actually.
I also discovered that dog and cat food has a tangy sour flavor but definitely not tasty but at least it didn’t cause me diarrhea, so I suppose it’s eatable for humans too.
I discovered that crayons are really chewable and can make a good replacement for bubble gum, of course without the bubble, thought it did cause me a bad stomach pain and well diarrhea too.
I discovered that is really not a good idea to pour Vapo-rub on your private parts because it burns like hell.
So you see, I have discovered many things that maybe some of you have never willed to try.
And actually when I now say something like:
“This tastes like rubber”
“This tastes like cardboard”
“This tastes like chalk”
“This tastes like WD-40”
And people look at me funny, I can’t help it I just have to say, “well I tried it and it really does taste like that” 

Tuesday, July 20, 2004

Tuesday Quickie!

I think I found the perfect mutant of a human and a dog...
Have you seen how dogs when you cross their block or their little piece of ground they start barking at you until you leave? Well I know a few people in my neighborhood who are just like that.
The parking space was empty the whole weekend and actually was empty the whole month. So my boyfriend and I thought it would be a good idea to put our cars together on one sigle parking space and so we did only for one night.
Yesterday afternoon I tried to do the same but as I was about to do so there comes this woman our neighbor upstairs who happened to stop by to check on her apartment and when she saw my car biting a little piece of her parking space she started "Barking" at me. Yes, just as you read it, She just got out of her car to shout me to move my car away from her parking space and as I moved my car she left. So again I parked my car correctly and there she comes again shouting at me that I am moving back to her space (lunatic woman), so there I go again moving my car and she stayed there until she made sure the crop in the street was biting my car tire and then she left. The only thing she needed was a leach, a bone and a tail.
Same thing happened a few months ago when one old lady went to visit one of my neighbors in the building and she didn't know about the barking humans upstairs so after 2 hours or so when the ugly neighbor saw she had her parking space blocked she barked at the old lady but this time she had company, her brother in law, her sister and her "puppy's".
Yep I have dogs for neighbors, bad dogs....bad dogs. 
So today you've learned a lesson folks. People also "Bark"
So after what happened yesterday I now say to my visitors:
"Just don't park in this space, there are dogs keeping an eye on it, they might bite and have rabies"

Monday, July 19, 2004

Oh Goodness!

What would you do if…
Me: Ok so now that you have a car you should buy an alarm for it
Bf: No I can’t right now, I don’t have any money,
Me: It’s only $80 dollars!
Bf: Oh look at this cool phone and it’s only $150 dlls that’s cheap!.
Bf: I can’t see well, I need my sunglasses
Me: What you need is a pair of reading glasses ‘cause you can barely see the….WATCH
Me: Take the original documents out of the car just in case, or take out one of the wires
Bf: No, that’s ok, I’ll just leave it on the street, I don’t think something will happen to it.
Me: Well then park it on my space, my car is yunk and yours is not.
Bf: No, it’s ok, just leave it.
Me: Well then buy the freaking insurance!
Bf: No it’s too expensive and I can’t affort it right now.
Me: We’ll see if your car gets stolen again if you have 400 dlls to buy another one just like that one.
What I’m planning to do at our anniversary and his birthday:
I will buy one bow with one card. Why?
Because I have given him a pack of lotion with aftershave and moisturizing cream and now ask me where it was.
Inside the stolen car.
I gave him one shirt originally made in Veracruz and ask me where it was.
Inside the stolen car
I gave him for his birthday one big tool box with lots and lots and lots of cool tools. Now ask me where that was….
Yeah… In the stole car.
So now before his gifts get stolen or lost I will loose them for him, at least I will know where they were…
 Happy Monday everyone!

Friday, July 16, 2004

Part 2!

Yep, there’s a Part 2 believe it or not…
Frankly the Humpback must look pretty beside me. I need sleep, I look so yellow and pale I scare people, hell I even scare myself.
Last night everything seemed so quiet it was unbelievable there were no noises outside. But I was thinking too early because later at night 2:00 am to be exact the nice neighbor lady again takes its shieety ass puppy out to poop; and this time I was not going to lay in bed waiting for them to shut up.
Little by little as I promised I was turning into Hulk and last night was the night my room exploded.
Neighbor: HA HA HA HA Look at this mother f..ker, it wants to sh..t on the wheel (I freak out with the hope it was not my car wheel)
Dog: Grrrrr…..dwarf!
Neighbor: No, no, no, no, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up!
Dog: Dwarf, dwarf, dwarf, dwarf,
Neighbor: Shut up, and come here, come here you, leave the cat alone!
Dog: Grrrrr
Cat: Mmmmmmmeeeeeoooowwwwwww Heeeezzzzzzzzzzzzz
Neighbor: Go, shoo, shoo (big foot steps)
I think at that moment the dog was chasing the cat around because the woman just kept yelling at the puppy all over the parking area.
By then I  was completely green and I felt cold sweat all over my body and I could feel the hair in my body arising from my skin. I could not take it any more and I just had to get up and shut the woman up.
My boyfriend was so scared because that same afternoon I told him that if I heard that woman with that dog again in the middle of the night I was going to get out and shut her up. So as soon as my boyfriend heard me taking my clothes our of my drawer he got up and said. “where are you going?” and I just told him “I’m going to shut that woman up that’s what I’m going to do!”
So I just went outside and I saw the woman for the first time in two days, with her flannel pajama and a sleeping hat and there it was this cute Labrador pup smelling its own old poop and looking for a new fresh place to put his new poop.
Me:      Excuse me lady, I’m so sorry to disturb you at this time of night, I know it’s late it’s 2:00
             am but you’re making too much noises and we have to wake up very early in the
            morning so can you keep your voice down?
Neighbor: What?
Me:      Keep your voice down, you have been waking us up for two nights in a row now and we
             need to sleep I’m sorry.
Neighbor: Oh sure, no problem
Me: I’m R.E.A.L.L.Y.  S.O.R.R.Y.    T.H.A.N.K.  Y.O.U!
Neighbor: No problem
When I turned around to get into my apartment I see this woman whom I think it was this woman’s sister looking at me like she wants to have a fight with me. But at that time I was boiling so I just gave her my “I will kill you if you even look at me” look and I said “good evening’ The woman said the same and saw me as I was getting inside.
I think the one who should have given an apology to me was the neighbor but oh well. She just won a call to the police next time I hear her barking at her dog.
But that didn’t end there, oh no sir, you think that just because I went outside and shut the woman the night was going to be peaceful? Well it was peaceful for 1 minute because after that a big truck with very very loud country music was passing fast by my block and parked near my window and the owner of the big truck was shouting the name of another guy in another big truck in the corner below.
That lasted about 1 or 2 hours more.
Then a patrol car was chasing another car with the sirens on.
After that the firefighters came along with the sirens on
And to finish the circus, a midnight concerto starting two male cats fighting over a female cat.
By then it was 4 am and it was time to get up.
Did I get rest?
You think I’m in the mood to work and listen to other people crap at work?
This time, if I hear one more time the guy sitting next to me whistling a stupid Beatle song. I’m gong to punch him in the face, I swear.
Tricia, I’m sorry I didn’t take the pictures when I was turning into Hulk but it was too dark and too damn late to look for my Polaroid.
Probably tonight I’ll be more prepared.
Have a nice and peaceful weekend everyone. 

Thursday, July 15, 2004

I can't get any rest!

This can only happen to Yoli…
As you all know I now don’t have a car so I have to take the public transportation to get to work. Is no big deal, I just take the taxi that says where I am supposed to go with big huge letters and that’s it.
So there I was on the bus stop waiting for my taxi to arrive and it was getting late so I started to get nervous as the taxi was not there yet. I saw my taxi coming so I make it stop to get in. There’s an intersection where if we go straight it takes you downtown or if we turn to the right it takes us directly to my work is. The taxi was getting near where it was supposed to make the right turn but the car never turned to the right lane to turn right, and it passed it, I freaked out and I asked the taxi driver
Me: Aren’t we going to 5 y 10?
Taxi driver: No, we are going downtown
Me: But I saw the big sign saying 5 y 10
Taxi Driver: Nop, it says Downtown (shows me the big ass sign)
Me: Pull over, I need to get off this thing!
One of two things could have happened:
#1 The taxi driver changed the sign as soon as I get getting on the taxi, or…
#2 I did not read the sign correctly….
If #2 happened I have to blame the lack of sleep I have not get to have since my boyfriend’s car was stolen because every time I hear a car starting outside my house I freak out and look at the window to see if that was not my car.
Well this morning that was not the reason why I didn’t get enough sleep. My new neighbors have a dog, a puppy dog which it only makes noises at night when it needs to go poop, so last night at 2:30 am to be exact I could hear my beautiful neighbor trying to make its new puppy poop outside the building…exactly at my window. Actually the dog was really not making any noises but the neighbor was….
Neighbor: Come on you f…ing dog, poop!
Neighbor: F…ck damn you, you just woke me up for nothing!
Neighbor: Come here you son of a b…ch (obvious)
At this moment I was starting to get very, very annoyed about the noises this woman was making and I do believe the dog got pissed off too.
Dog: Dwarf, dwarf, dwarf, dwarf.
Neighbor: Shut up you fu..in animal and poop!
Dog: Dwarf!
Neighbor: No…shut the f..ck up! You’re going to wake up the neighbors (too late!)
Dog: Grrrr….dwarf!
Neighbor: Come here you, f…cking piece of s…it!
Dog: Dwarf!….Huuaauuuhhh Dwarf!
Neighbor: I said shut the f…ck up!!!! Come here you, let’s take you inside, you just took me here for nothing!
Poor dog, with that kind of pressure and insulting even I would not poop properly.
Happy Thursday everyone!

Wednesday, July 14, 2004


Why do good people always have the worst luck?...

I am grumpy, I am grouchy, I am annoying, I complain too much I won't deny that, but when it comes to helping out other people when they need it I am always there and my boyfriend is just like that and even more than me, he's just a good samaritan.

But being a good samaritan has its own price and is not pretty; it always comes with bad things on the side.

Yesterday morning as my boyfriend wanted to leave for work he noticed a big big space in the parking...something was missing...his car...

Why I ask, why this has to happen to him? In the worst of the times when he has to support his family who came from their country a few months ago to live in the US and has a big debt in the banks for that reason.

This really pisses me off, it turns me green. I am thinking one of these days I am going to turn like the HULK, I always try to keep things calm when something bad happens to me or my family and I have to keep my mouth shut because that's what a nice person has to do, just accept what it comes and thank the Omnipresent for giving us that big test to prove we are good sons. But I am reaching my limit, oh yes I am, one day I am going to talk, I am going to talk loud and clear so everybody hears me....even YOU!

Why? This is my question today, why? It's not fair, really it is not!

So now I gave my car to my boyfriend to take it to work because he has to drive over 40 miles to get there until he finds a car he can buy, I don't mind taking the public transp. plus I work near home. So I'll look at the possitive side in this disgrace. My boyfriend is picking me after work... Yippiiiii!

Alright, it's not working!

I'm grouchy, so everybody who wants to deal with me today will get some of my "Hulkiness"

Happy Humpday.

Monday, July 12, 2004

El Amore!

That sounds so mushy…

But it’s true, today I am mushy, sleepy and dreamy at the same time. Is it true that when someone loves someone doesn’t realize it until one day a spark hits them? I don’t know.

I’ve been with my b/f for almost 2 years now and every time someone asked me if I was in love with him or if I loved him I said with my eyes turning somewhere else “sure” but never a “yes I love him so much, he’s the man of my dreams, I want to marry him…” and all that crap I hear from my friends and people, although we live together and it may sound strange but I feel as if he wasn’t there I would not be complete and I must say this doesn’t have anything to do with being used to the other person who sleeps beside you.

Over the weekend I felt something pinching my brain just as we were in the parking lot of a super market and there was a song on the radio “I just called to say I love you”. Just when I realize I was doing something I hate to see the most from others I was doing it in front of lots of people, Boyfriend and I singing the song, looking at each other and feeling happy not caring if others saw or listened to us. But that didn’t last long, I think just for 1 minute, then I shut up and felt over the clouds when my boyfriend was looking at my eyes and me not knowing what to do I replied to his sight.

I think I got carried away by the “Momento” right? I sure hope so.

I have my new Oscar the grouch T-shirt, Woo hoo! And you know what it says?


So if my boss comes to me and asks me about his freaking shocks I will tell him…


Friday, July 09, 2004

Last thought of the week!

I'm copying the Monkey on this one...

People I would love to pimp slap:

All those people who think in their minds are whistling a song every single day, all day long while they're walking across MY OFFICE area!!

This is getting on my nerves now.

Somebody shoot me!

Happy weekend everyone :o)


Guess what I did 50% of my day today?...

Searching for shocks.

I am for sure dreaming of shocks today. I am becoming an shock expert, just ask me anything I'll tell ya, I just searched the entire web searching for them and guess what? They can also come with spare parts!! Oh this is wonderful, beautiful and magnificent.

Somebody hand me a shot gun please...please!

Thursday, July 08, 2004

Miss Information Center!

Do I look like a freaking phone book to ya?!...

Believe it or not, everywhere I've worked everybody asks me everything.

Where's the bathroom.
Where can I get this?
Do you know this place is?
I need tickets for the Placido Domingo Concert please find me information.

And the latest and newest of the all and the winner of all questions!

" I need you to find me the prices of front and back shocks for a 1997 Cadillac Seville STC with 32.5 valves V8 engine "

WHAT THA!?!?!?!

By the way, if anybody knows the price please tell me. I need help here

Damn Freaking Thursday!

Wednesday, July 07, 2004

It's Wednesday and Nobody is taking my happiness away

You're a circle!

You're a circle. You follow a daily routine that you find exciting and not boring because you can never see around the bend and are always expecting something new, which is very possible. Your two dimensional qualities allow you to view the world as it is, nothing too deep, but whatever you want to see to make yourself feel good inside.

What Shape Are You?

I found this quizz in Shara's blog where she got it from Derek's blog where I don't know where he got it from but it's neat.

I'm starting to get to like these thingies... he!

If I'm a circle, that's good, I mean I never have an end, my routines are like that, sounds monotonous but it really isn't, I like it, until I get bored then I get another one and so on.

I'm a circle, a little nice round cheerful circle....


Monday, July 05, 2004

The Weekend from Hell!

Why me…Why me??!!…

I think the worst thing about a relationship is that not only you get engaged with your partner but also with the inlaws, and “Antisocial Yoli” don’t like to play social with the inlaws.

I’ve told my boyfriend trizzillion times I don’t like to spend more than 30 seconds with his family because of the difference in culture, language, and what not; I know it sounds ugly, bad and horrible but that’s how I am. Saturday we went to buy my boyfriend his new cell phone and he wanted me to help him out choose one. I don’t consider myself cheap, I just consider myself practical and economical and that’s the reason why all my clothes have no international brand names or well known designers like Gucci or Armani, Guess, etc, etc, etc. For me, as long as is a good quality clothe, comfortable, good looking and at a reasonable price is good enough for me. The same goes with everything else I use around me, so with that thought I was looking around for a cheap reliable phone for my boyfriend, well, as expected, we found a nice phone with all those cool gadgets you can find in a phone that even I was drawling for and my boyfriend wanted it. It was the most expensive phone on show, and well, to make the long story short, that’s the phone he got; he’s happy now with his new phone.

Everything was beautiful, like one of those romantic weekends you love to spend with your boyfriend until he mentioned the sentence “Let’s go see my sister” I felt every little hair in my body arose from my skin and felt the “goose bumps”. I wanted to scream, I wanted to run away and get the hell out, but I could not, we were in the freeway at more than 75 miles per hour and that would be completely suicidal for me. So the only thing I could do is put my miserable ugly face like “Do we have to?” and the story began all over again.

Bf: Why what’s wrong?
Me: Nothing I just get so bored!
Bf: But it will be just for a little bit, I promised my sister I would go over and see her
Me: Well how bit will be that little bit?
Bf: Just a few minutes, 15 minutes just to stop by and say hello.
Me: …

Well actually it wasn’t only 15 minutes, it was 2 hours to be exact, good thing I am starting to understand a little bit of my boyfriend’s language so I could catch up a bit of the conversation he was having with their sisters, and it really wasn’t a good nice chat, it was more like an argument.

Sunday morning, my boyfriend told his sisters he would take them to Balboa Park, for those who know the area of San Diego, CA. and have seen Balboa Park is a very nice park where you can enjoy the culture and relax while watching the nice structures of the museums around, it’s big, with lots and lots of trees and well, if you really want to enjoy it you should walk around every little hidden corner of this Museum/Park; I was excited to go since the last time I was there was 10 years ago. Everything was just as I left it and just a few things got enhanced but the rest was all the same. At this point, hell was about to begin.

I’ve never went with the inlaws anywhere else but their homes or to the beach but never to any other place like a big park or a cultural center and believe me I will never go with them again. It was a nightmare, it was embarrassing and shameful. This place is one of the most beautiful places to go and walk and just breathe the fresh air with lots and flowers and natural living and well in my case I love to walk, and walk, and walk until I loose all sense in my feet and that’s what I wanted to do, but, you know in all the parks there are benches ever 3 feet so, there you saw the whole family (sisters and nephews) sitting almost everywhere; the funniest thing was that they just ate their lunch 1 hour before and when we got out of the car my boyfriend asked me if we could eat inside, I said yeah sure of course, but I never thought they would bring 3 buckets of water, 2 bags of cookies and bread and pistachios and sunflower seeds and god knows what else they were carrying in those bags, as if they were really going to sit down and eat. So we get out of the car and walk towards the park and guess what? There was a place with grass and shade and 2 or 3 people sitting so they went there and sat, I look at my boyfriend and say:

Me: What?! We have lots of things to see!
Bf: Yeah I know but let’s just sit down and drink a little bit of water
Me: What tha!
Bf: Come sit with us and then we keep on walking
Me: Alright, you sit here with your family I’ll go walk, I’ll catch you guys later!

That’s how it went the 4 hours we stayed in the park, they were sitting and I was walking, actually I walked the whole park around two times and they were still sitting, not on the same spot no, no, no, they were sitting every 3 feet where they saw benches. “Oh look, one bench and has shade, let’s sit down and eat”. Of course while they were walking the only thing I could hear were my boyfriend’s nephews just mocking at everything they saw, one girl playing the violing “mock, mock, mock” One big building with medieval pictures “mock, mock, mock”. It was very, very, very annoying, to the point I wanted to kick their …. Ok, I’ll calm down now.

And my boyfriend wants to take them all to the Zoo….Yeah right! I’m not spending my share of money waiting for these people to sit, and eat, then get up walk three feet and sit down again and eat while the whole zoo is waiting for me to enjoy. Hell no, that’s no fun at all! People you gotta exercise more! And let’s just say, I am the fatty in the family ok?

So there you have it folks, yes it was a shieety Sunday, which I must say I spent with myself, walking alone all over the precious place because my boyfriend could not let them sit by themselves, oh no, they might get lost…in the bench… Bull…

This morning I am not in a nice mood as you can tell, I have no server, so I can’t work, which means I am delayed now, which means I won’t go home early, which means I’ll be late for everything.

Good thing I have internet…Woo hoo!

Thursday, July 01, 2004

Too much Peace and Quiet!

This is driving me nuts…

I few weeks ago I was desperately seeking for some peace and quiet and that my boss would go away and leave me alone at least, now I am anxiously waiting for my boss to come back to work. After the company celebration everybody is so drunk they forget to work, except for me. Everybody is so wasted that everybody wished they were at home, except for me. How sad.

The most annoying thing about eating your lunch is eating it with the plant director and listening to him saying how much money he spent when he went to the Bahamas and how beautiful it is to go on a cruise to the Caribbean or how easily he gets away with any speeding ticket because of the big influences he has with the police in the city, and other crap I preferred to knock my head off ‘cause I got tired of listening to him and reminding me how pathetic my life is that I can’t even go downtown because of my lack of money. And still I want my Oscar the grouch T-shirt, I better start saving.

Anyhow, I have a heartburn, I know I need Pepto but I am not taking it, tastes weird. I’m bored and I am just looking out my big window and counting the chairs the people is picking up from the celebration two days ago, boy they’re a lot, and you can fold them, and stack them, I want to fold one, looks fun, or maybe not, I would have to get up from my chair and start exercising and my stomach is too full to do something like that.

So thanks to the Plant Manager my whole week is ruined, I was cheerful and nice, and actually I was starting to become a nice person but not anymore.

I’ve been checking out one of the girls in my company (one of the Evil Yoli’s) and I think she hasn’t taken a shower for 4 days now, she’s been with the same straight hair since Monday and now her hair looks oily, I want to tell her “Girl, if you don’t have water in your house there are 8 big showers in the company you can take a good, nice and healthy shower you know” “Can I count your lice? Maybe you have a big spider in there and you haven’t even noticed”

How can it be possible that women with curly hair, once they straighten it for the weekend they don’t wash it until the next week? That’s nasty! Don’t they realize people know they don’t clean up their heads? Look at you woman, you don’t even brush it because the hair do might come down and what a waste! Probably you must have spent about 50 to 60 dollars to get your hair straight and you want to make it worth the pay? Here, take a shower in my house and I’ll straight it out for you every morning, just take a freaking shower for crying out loud Woman! If I were a man I would not be near you at least 1 mile. There I said it, of course the social praxis and the political relationship has to keep at a margin (who ever wrote that deserves to die and if it’s already dead, deserves to die again) so that means I can’t say this to her but that’s what the Blogger is for right?

Damn I want to get that head into a big bucket of water with soap and scrub it, deep scrub, scrub, scrub, scrub, scrub, scruuuuuuuuub. Yeah!