Wednesday, June 30, 2004

Info Grey
Your Heart is Grey


What Color is Your Heart?
brought to you by Quizilla

Yep, I always knew I am Grey. In fact, I was grey all the time yesterday, the event sucked, I wasn't at the party 'cause it sucked, I didn't know it did but I knew it would, anyway. I started my shift as regular at 7:30 am and there was not one soul in the company, today everybody would show up to work at 8:00 am, and I forgot, I could have slept more but no, Yoli had to forget today we were allowed at 8:00 am. Oh well, at least it gave me 30 minutes of free bloggin'.

Muuaahahahaha.

Monday, June 28, 2004

Nutter Industries!

That should be the name of my company…

I have a window next to my desk where I can see everything in the production floor and they are setting up a big stage for the biggest event ever in the History of this Company. As if Disneyland was having its grand opening celebration or as if a new kind of amusement park was to be opened; that’s exactly how everything is being packed and ready to go.

Now this is what we in our Mexican culture would call “Naco”; a “Naco” for the people who have never heard of the word before is an expression for the people who like to show off a lot with lots and lots of bad taste in everything; for example, we would call a “Naco” anybody or anything that would have the Mexican football team posted in the bedroom, car, house, T-shirt, etc. etc. etc. Or we would call “Naco” those who have their 15 Year Party (equal to the Sweet 16 Party) and the girl would wear a huge pumped dress with lots and lots and lots of ribbons and the dress would have to look like one of the “Three Princess” from the Disney Cartoons…get the picture?… Good.

Well that’s what this company is “Naco” the worst “Naco” company I’ve ever worked for in my whole life. I’m embarrassed.

But, I would not be called a “Naca” if I wanted an “Oscar the Grouch” T-shirt right? I love Oscar the Grouch and I want my smelly green T-shirt. I’m getting out of the subject now…well, the thing is, tomorrow, the grand opening of the company at the luxurious Hotel in Rosarito Beach and lots and lots of Fireworks and Mexican food for lunch and at the end there will be a dance.

I am not going….buncha Nacooos!

But from where is that coming from? Oh I was wondering but last Friday I new where the idea came from. The Vice Prisident, yep, the Vice President of the Company is a “Naco”, he’s from Peru, and the whole company has the idea of a Peru style Country House but with no taste what so ever, I don’t have anything against Peru, but this guy’s taste is way our of wack! On Friday, the Vice President bought a lot of Pre-Hispanic figurines from Peru, including a wooded crocodile which measured 1 feet and 30 inches long; and the thing that had to give it the last hit of “Naconess” was a “Poncho” which will be exhibited in the lunch room….Somebody shoot me!

Excuse me Mr. Vice President, can I borrow your Poncho? My feet are cold.

Friday, June 25, 2004

It’s Friday already….It’s Friday Already!!!

What’ma gonna do when I get outta there?... I’m gonna have some…SLEEP…

It’s been a hard week for sure. I can barely open my eyes, they really need some rest away from the computer, the more days pass by the more blur appears in my sight and this time is not dirt on my glasses, or a splat of toothpaste or guacamole, nope! I checked them many times and they are sparkling clean, I’m just tired, so tired that when I close my eyes I feel I’m going to bang my head on the keyboard, that’s how tired I am.

Finally I found the perfect apartment for my parents so I don’t have to worry about “apartment browsing” and having to talk to “Igor’s” around….Aahh!! Mental Image.

My boss came back with a killer flu, just looking at him sniffing and coughing made me feel sick, I was coughing too and feel funny in my throat. In short, this week was not pink with flowers as I thought it would be. Hope next week gets better. As soon as I get home I have to start cleaning my joint, it’s junky, it’s messy and I killed two ugly spiders with one complete bottle of bug spray and still the damn bugs would not die. That means, deep clean needs to be done….today, tomorrow I can’t, I have to wake up early ‘cause we are going to get some furniture in one place called the “Salvation Army” for my sisters in law who have their brand new “mouse house” and I think a mouse house is bigger. Let’s see if I find something nice for myself.

By the way, after 25 years of being told by my parents that when I go to a stranger’s home and they offer me food I don’t like I have too eat it all anyway; my dad told me last Sunday there are few exceptions to pass if the food looks really, really nasty…Thanks Dad, I almost die of food poisoning and after that you tell me this?

Ok here’s the story:

Last week my b/f and I went to buy some things for my sisters in law they needed for their new home and when we finished I was starving, we didn’t eat anything since 8 am, and it was already 5:30 pm when we got to the sisters house. I didn’t want to eat there because their food is weird, is not the typical kind of food some of us are used to, they’re foreigners so their cooking is a lot different. So one sister in law asked me if we had our lunch and I said no, she was worried for a second but then she sent her son to get the leftover food they left in the other house. When they came back with the food I could not believe my eyes; one big bowl of fried rice and one full bowl of something that looks like tomato soup with meat, fried onions and something in between a squash and cactus (it’s hard to describe) and lots and lots and lots of grease, from all the dishes that one I hate the most, but what could I do? I was in a stranger’s house and they were serving a dish I puke every time I see it. Well, I kind if distracted everybody while I was eating the fried rice slowly, very slowly, so slowly everybody in the house asked what was wrong…me and my green puking face said “Nothing” so they said, well then eat some more and they got the bowl of “soup” closer to my hands, ok, at that point I could not say no, so I had to take one spoon of “that something” and put it in the rice so I can cover up the taste, but still the taste would not go away. I was about to throw up the whole bite in front of the nephew but I just swallowed the whole thing at once, with no water by my side, I just had to hold my breath for a few “minutes” so the nausea would go away; It was a nightmare.

People:

If you are one of those parents who force your kids to eat the whole dish when they go to a strangers house please tell them the “exceptions” in life, you don’t want them to be traumatized…like me.

Happy Weekend!

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

Vacationing?

Nope, Internet was down and that is a waste of time…

I was not on vacation but my boss was for a whole week, and that meant I could have even more time to blog around and just act silly right?… Wrong!

I had more work than I could ever imagine, we added 7 more new reports to my report list, which means 8 hours of data entry… that really stinks!

In the mean time my boss was on vacation the internet decided to take a few days off by itself too, it was hard, there was no internet, no internet radio, no internet jokes, no internet pointers, no fun at all. Life without internet really is bad and boring, so I had nothing else to do but to get ahead with my work and I finished, today, and today my boss is back from vacation, which means no vacation for Yoli either. Bleah!

Yesterday something weird and spooky happened; I’m searching for a small apartment for my parents who are moving back to my town after 2 years of being in the south, of course I still have 2 months more to look for it but my house is so full of home junk I can no longer fit in there so I have to start looking right away before I can no longer sleep in my own home.

So there I was “apartment browsing” and well I did not find much of what I was looking for except for one apartment that is right half a block away from my apartment, the only thing is the stairs are really weird, they’re so small and so high that with my big feet I think I will fall down the stairs one of those days and I think my parents will too if they don’t watch it. But anyhow I think I’m getting that one. Ok but now I am out of the subject here; I was browsing around and I saw this building that didn’t look so bad from the outside so I thought it would not look bad from the inside right? So I called right in and they told me just what I wanted to hear, so I asked if I could go there and take a look at it and the woman accepted to I just got off my car and went to inside the building.

There I found at the first level one big door/fence or what ever you want to call that door covered in a shower curtain…odd. After standing outside that door for around 2 minutes one man looking like one of those creepy scary movie serial killers crossed eye and big eye balls like they were going to pop out of his face, one tooth hanging from his mouth, I think the end of the root was holding the tooth because it looked like if someone blown some air in there the tooth would fall out. The appearance of the old man looked very scary and at that moment I wanted to run away and undo the mental image in my head but I had no other choice but to stay there and just wait until everything ended. Good thing the apartment looked as horrible as the owner, it was so dirty and so claustrophobic that as soon as I got out of there I went home, took a shower and sanitized myself with lots and lots and lots of dial.

Good thing the nightmare is over, I am never going over there again.

So the big news right now around the company is … President Fox was going to be here for the Inauguration of the building….ha ha! They changed the date maybe 10 times or more until finally it was decided that June 29 would be the day, because President Fox said it would be better before his birthday (that’s what people say). Today in the morning meeting a very reliable source from my company said that he was not coming anymore (duh) anybody who believes in Santa Claus (and I think it was everybody her) would really believe the President of Mexico would come….That made me laugh. Oh well.

I feel sorry for the “Parrots Upstairs” because they went to have their hair fixed, and bought new clothes in the most expensive shopping malls in San Diego and all just to get the notice that the replacement for the Grand Opening will be our beer belly Governor (and that…is a maybe)

Happy Humpday!

Thursday, June 17, 2004

Duh!

I really don't find it funny...

I've been having a bad "one eye-ache" since tuesday and I am not able to make it go away. I was not able to see very well although I have my glasses all day long. I thought for an instant I need new glasses because everything is so blurry especially on my right eye. So right about a few minutes ago I had an eye-itch and I had to take my glasses off to scratch my achin eye and what do you know? the blurr went away; it wasn't a lash, or a piece of lint stuck in my eye, is just that my glasses were so dirty especialy from the right side with a big drop of dry toothpaste right in the middle....

I hope that cleaning my glasses will solve my "one eye-ache" problem 'cause it really is starting to annoy me now.

Happy Thursday.

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

1 minute of silence...

This one is for your Pet Friend Monkey

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

Tuesday!

Ok, so I come back from lunch and I need to start working on this analysis report, but...where's my pencil and eraser?

Where in hell is my pencil and eraser???? I can't work without my pencil and my eraser!

How am I supose to write something and then erase it when I'm done if I don't have my pencil and my eraser with me! I can't write and erase with a pen and a corrector...No I can't it looks messy.

Someone took it from my desk I know it! I bet those two preppie guys took it!

2 minutes later...

Ok, never mind, for some reason I put my pencil and my eraser inside my purse...why? I don't know why.

This is tuesday for me...thank you very much!

Monday, June 14, 2004

Alrighty then!

Think last weekend was not productive? Well for me it was…

Ok let’s get down to business here. In case you were wondering where I’ve been….I’ve been working, yeah! Working, not just “at work” like my other crappy joint, but working with all the word “Work” means, damn, now I am complaining about work, that’s pathetic, how we humans are never satisfied, that sucks!

But life never sucks when Friday night is at full bloom….oh my goodness! Yeah for that I can’t complain, I woke up refreshed and ready to shop, shop, shop, and hell did I shop!

Have you ever felt pain from shopping? No, not that kind of pain when you open your credit balance at the end of the month and is so high you feel pain in your brain and you wish you were dead. I mean the kind of pain you feel in your arm for carrying so much clothes around for so many hours ‘cause you’ve been picking up the whole store…yeah I mean that kind of pain, the happy pain, the pain you can bare when you still have your cramped arms and feet for walking too much. The happy pain when is Monday and you can’t even hold your pen and you remember, “Oh, I went shopping over the weekend” yeah that’s the pain I’m talking about. Isn’t that great?

Finally I went shopping on Saturday, all by myself, with no boyfriend to keep looking at me funny at the clothes/color/model I pick, or being rushed by some friend or family member and keep looking at their face hoping they don’t get nervous or angry ‘cause they’ve been with you all morning and you still haven’t decided which color of blouse to take and at the very end you en up picking up both or leaving both and choosing another one. That for me is being in Paradise. So after too much shopping for over 4 hours I was exhausted but happy, thought I didn’t find any shoes I liked but still I was happy. Can’t complain, won’t complain and I’ll keep myself happy for the rest of the week (Now I just need to put that note in front of my monitor so I don’t get al grumpy…too late)

Sunday you ask? Oh it couldn’t be better; washed clothes, made breakfast…but I didn’t make any lunch or dinner, and…I didn’t wash any dishes…hurray for me!!!


Ok, Monday, Monday? Don’t ask. Been busy all morning, with lots and lots of reports to finish, I’m 1 hour away to go and I’m still not finished with the urgent parts; Aaaggghhh!!

But hey! It’s Friday afternoon, almost time to go and the week is almost done….just 4 more days, please hold 4 more days!

By the way, my butt is getting so flat just by sitting in this chair all morning…now that, really sucks!

Bleah!

Wednesday, June 09, 2004

I am....Wonder Woman!

Ta-ta-ta-taaaah---tah-taaaah….

Ok, Maybe I exagerated a little when I said that it was fun to find a place where all the little Yolis working along together in peace…NOT !

I found out there are other kinds of Yolis working here, and these are the kind of Yolis Yoli don’t like to play with. These are the evil Yoli’s, the Yoli nobody would like to have as a friend.

This is the advertisement for my work.

“If you’re feeling depressed, fat, ugly, with no education, low self steem, come work at Yoli’s work, here at our facilities we have the most qualified people to make you feel even worse than what you’e feeling now; our specialized personnel have a way of saying things that if you are fat…well…you were, we can make you bulimic or anorexic, just join us at lunch break…and you’ll see the difference within minutes!”

We have a group of about 10 women who just love to eat each other and competing of who makes more time working out at the Gym and who irons less and who has the best cleaning lady and so on. Yoli just listens to the rest of the evil Yolis because she has nothing else to do. So I’m thinking to myself, “Man! I must be a wonder woman…why?”

1. I work
2. I clean the house
3. I cook for me and my bf
4. I do our laundry
5. I wash dishes
6. I iron clothes
7. I do the house payments, etc, etc.

Wow, I must not be the wonder woman…forgot to mention the gym! Oh my god! I’m not a super woman anymore…I’m not perfect because I don’t go to the gym…ok, Yoli should now shut up and just listen at the latest deals the gym has to offer and what is the new hot thing after pilates, and yoga and spinning and tae bo? For that I am speechless!

So maybe after reminiscing a few minutes and saying to myself “Yoli, you should be ashamed of yourself, you’re a fat chick who’s too damn lazy to go to the gym when you have loads of time to do it!”

But then again, after thinking and re arranging my schedule once again I said to myself “ Ok Yoli, if you want to go to the Gym you gotta give up something and to give up something that means you have to hire someone to take care of the something you just gave up to which means spend double your money…oh oh!”

Wait a minute! While I was listening to those evil Yolis I see those evil Yolis just going home, taking off their clothes and head off the gym like good’ol working women, (of course none of them have kids) and they say they don’t have time for anything but they do have time for a 3 hour session of gym…Heck! In 3 hours I can do a lot in my house and I would not spend money, hey! Cleaning up the house is a great effort and causes you to move some muscles, so why not make it an exercise to clean up your damn house and stop whining that you have to pay the cleaning lady cause you don’t have time for anything, not even for your husband? Pleeeaasseeee! Lazy Ass Women!! They don’t deserved to be called Yolis so I am taking off their titles as of today….they will be lowered as the “Parrots upstairs”.

So as I was saying before, I was reminiscing and thought, I might not be a wonder woman but I do make wonders in other isssues!! Hehe

I am a fatty chick but I don’t care, my man loves me that way, and he appreciates my cooking, my cleaning and his downy smelling laundry….

Maybe in another life, I’ll try to go to the gym..but not in this one nah ha! I’m enjoying my life as I only have one!

Woo hoo! I have more me time now starting today…I spoke to my boss and said I needed to change my working hours from 7 to 5 buy he said, ok, neither you or me, 7:30 am to 5:30 pm…I said, ok….but still in the next few months I will ask for another change, and that will be from 7 to 5…..no more! So today I am heading off “early” at 5:30 pm, 30 minutes is 30 minutes, you can do lots of things in 30 minutes.

If you haven’t noticed I am living by the time here…

Woo hoo!

Monday, June 07, 2004

Monday's here!!!

Where did Saturday and Sunday go?…

Don’t you just hate it when you had your weekend but you feel like you didn’t have it at all? For me this is an insult, I mean I can gladly say “oh my week passed and I didn’t even feel it” but not for the weekend! What gives? I spend 5 long days to wait for Saturday to come and just like that it’s gone? Oh that’s not fair! Worst if you weekend was not productive like you thought.

I wanted to go to the shopping mall to get me my new clothes that I owe myself as a birthday gift and still now I haven’t gone, my boyfriend had to drive his brother to the airport and for what my boyfriend told me he would go early, for me, early means between 8 am and 11 am. Noon for me is between 11 and 2 pm, afternoon for me is between 2:00 pm and 5:00 pm and night is for me between 5 pm and 10 pm.

So my boyfriend says,

I’m going to drive my brother to the airport tomorrow noon.

Me: Ok good, at what time are you coming back?

B/F: In the afternoon

Me: Ok, so I’m going to the shopping mall do you need something?

B/F: At what time are you going to go?

Me: right after you’re leaving.

B/F: And at what time are you coming back?

Me: Probably around 4 or 5, why?

B/F: Because I’m coming back right after I drop my brother.

Me: Ok, so do you want me to wait for you or what?

B/F: Ok, if you want.

Me: Well then at what time are you coming back ?

B/F: Maybe around 6 or 7.

Me: That’s too late!

B/F: What do you mean is too late? Is afternoon

Me: Excuse me! Afternoon for me is (read above), so are you coming back early or what?

B/F: I don’t know between 4 and 6

Me: (Silence….and big breath)

To make the long story short, I decided to wait for my boyfriend so we could go together to the shopping mall…. Now the question is…did we go to the shopping mall??

Exactly….we didn’t go, instead we ended up going to the nearest drug store and buy my shampoo and drove to rent a movie….does that have anything relative or similar to my previous plan?

Exactly….it didn’t, at all!

Sunday could have been more productive, though it was only relaxing, so no, I didn’t go to the shopping mall, instead we ended up in the grocery store buying the stuff we needed for the week and I ended up cooking lunch….

Weekends are not cooking days for Yoli!!!!

But that’s preferable than having boyfriend to cook for me, now that would be very not productive and a waste of day.

Happy Monday!

Friday, June 04, 2004

Friday Quickie!

Alright, here’s the deal…You give me more space and I’ll come to work earlier….

This is my thought every morning when I look at my boss, too bad I'm still new here and I can't say anything...yet. I have a 1” by 1” size desk and I can’t do anything because everything is lost between all those papers I have around me and it takes me more time looking for the report I was about work on before someone came to me and gave me a bunch of more paper to work on, so what was I working on again??

Says me: What can I do to rearrange this mess?

Inner self says: “get rid of the stuffed animals you have there and you'll have more room.”

Says me: Nooo I can’t do that, they’re my babies, I can’t get rid of my stuffed animals, I can’t work without them!

Inner self says: But look at this place, your desk looks more like a kinder garden than an office desk!

Says me: That’s what is all about, I’m supposed to play with my toys when I get nervous.

And really that’s what I do.

My desk is mostly filled with stuffed animals consisting in two pink haired mini trolls, three crystal cats, two turtles that move their head when there’s motion, one kitty cat, one moose and a big Tigger, plus lots and lots of papers, and paper clips, and more papers, and papers, and papers, and papers….

I’m starting to see double ‘cause the computer is right in front of me and then, my boss comes and sits on my desk with more of his papers ‘cause his desk is full of papers and has nowhere else to sit….Bleah!

Ooooh but today I won’t complain, today was one of the happiest Fridays of my life, yep, we had “Carne Asada” or what in America is called a barbecue, all this to say thanks to all of the people who worked hard since the company started operations so they gave us 2 full hours of eating…and eating and eating some more…aaahhh I’m full, so full I can’t even work, so full I can’t even walk…so full I can’t even think and so full that if I open my mouth one taquito will get out of there…..yikes!

Happy weekend everyone!

Wednesday, June 02, 2004

Automatic toilets!

How far will humans go for the sake of laziness?…

How difficult is it to just unzip, sit, do your doo doo’s, wipe, zip, flush….huh?

Is it really that hard? Does it make too much exercise for your hand to flush the toilet after your done? Cause if it was, I bet it would go after the spinning session or the Tae-Bo practice, “Flushing session @ 6:00 pm Mon-Tue-Friday” I bet you that, or it would be advertised in one of those telemarketing channels at 2 am:

“The flusher 2000 Plus, includes 1 easy to use light weight ready to go toilet, and weights in the chain so you can start pumping your fingers at the scale you desire, call in now and we’ll include a toilet cleaner, and air freshener and a big carry bag to take your Flusher 200 Plus Free! That’s right, call in the next 30 minutes and you will receive those 3 items for Free, so why wait! Other toilets give you the same weight every time and they’re so heavy you have to stay at home to use it, but not with the Flusher 2000 Plus, the Flusher 2000 Plus gives you plenty to work on, you can work on your back arm, your shoulders, and if you’re tougher even your jaws, call now for this special offer”.


But no, actually flushing toilets is not an exercise and is one of the easiest things to do in the world, hey! If you can play X-Box or Super Mega Nintendo Hi Tec Plus with lots and lots of tiny little buttons you can flush a freaking toilet!!!!

That’s why the scientists and computer technology experts designed the automatic toilet flush (not recommended for people with heart condition) which makes a fresh flush every 5 seconds (if you were thinking of lasting longer in a toilet for sure your tooshie will get showered with cool water at least 3 times before you get up).

I have never liked these automatic toilet systems, first because when I get in there this little red light indicates you’re there, about to do your stuff, as if someone was watching me or something, I don’t know, I feel naked with this toilet; second because I am about to get started with my business when FLUUSSSHH goes the toilet, I can’t concentrate, I just can’t.

This afternoon I had the nature call and there I went to take a visit to Mr. Automatic bowl, and it right when I was about to get relaxed this annoying bowl flushed and guess what I did? I half got up with half my pants down because I got scared; imagine peace and quiet inside the restroom and suddenly you hear this flushing sound underneath and you feel fresh air coming down your tooshie and little sprinkles of water…that’s traumatizing…for me it is!, good thing the door was able to stop me ‘cause otherwise I would have stamped myself in the toilet in front, now that would be embarrassing, Yoli with her pants down landing on the person sitting in the toilet infront of me…I can hardly see the image there.

I think that besides this electronic red eye laser there should be a voice asking us permission to flush the toilet would have a voice detector so when we said No then the toilet would hold, and after 5 seconds more the voice would ask permission to flush again and if we said Yes, until then it would flush….yeah, that’s a good idea don’t you think? That way we are all happy and we can all do our business properly without having our tooshies flushed 3 or 4 times, now that I would call it the Flusher 2000 Plus.

Tuesday, June 01, 2004

I have new Neighbors!

All the fun went bye bye...

Well starting today I have two new guys working in the same office as me. They are two students that are here only for 2 months. I can't scratch my boobie anymore as often as I wanted, I can't sing as loud as before, I can't say stupid things anymore...that's no fun!

These kids are 22 and 18, both looking like 15 year olds, when they were introduced to me both gave me a kiss on the cheek...yuck! you know I am a germofobic so I wanted to take a shower like...right now! Anyway, that's no way of saying nice meeting you to a totally weird stranger right??? These kids are freaks..!

I'm taking a 2 minute break before I can get back to work again. But before that let me tell you what happened to me over the weekend...

Nothing...
ha!

Well just on saturday, it was my birthday and I turned the quarter, (I'm getting old!) My boyfriend didn't come back home until later that night and he came with a beautiful bouquet of flowers and a mini ice cream cake, it was great. The flowers had a card, but the card had no message in it...How original huh? When I saw the card I turned to see my boyfriend and he looked at me funny asking me why I was looking at him funny, then I showed him the card and he said "Oh I'm sorry, I wanted to write somehting in there but I forgot"....Well ok...it doesn't matter, I said, just don't forget to take a shower cause you stink (he spent the whole day painting a house, that's why he stank)

And...that's about it

I've been working alot since yesterday, and today finally I had a little time to write a few words here. Now with my new neighbors...I'll have more things to write on there hehe!.