Tuesday, April 06, 2004

Relationships "S.U.C.K."

Today, is not a happy day for me, (I’m depressed >_<).

Last night I didn’t get any sleep, (if you call 2 hours of sleep sleeping then yes I slept), there’s a reason for that, I’m not an insomniac at all, in fact, I sleep like a log once my head hits the pillow, but reminiscing about 6 years ago, all of my nice sleeping went away to become history (this is why I look 30 when I am only 24).

It all started back when I had my first and only love, oh yes, it was magically delicious when it started, then after 4 years it became hell, then I couldn’t sleep, I had big arguments with my ex about who gets the most attention and who gets left out with no attention (that would be me complaining and the marathon would last all night).

Well I thought this would all end once I ended the relationship (this should be exactly 2 years ago), but then something worst came along. I got hooked up with another “semi-serious” relationship (this one is interesting because it all happened so quickly I don’t remember even how it all began), oh what a mistake! (believe me), someone should teach us girls when you end up a disastrous sick long relationship you should never…ever…hook up immediately with someone else, this should take it’s recovery time properly, but Noooooo!, Yoli felt alone and out of place, with no one to love her and no one to be beside her, (just my cat that paid attention to me only when it was hungry…*bleh*).

I was a happy gal for about 4 or 5 months (can’t recall, I was too busy acting like a Ho’ after my break up) after I broke up with my ex, my best friend always came along with me to take care of me and also so she could have fun of course; I made a mess out of myself; but then, I met “Him”, by “coincidence”, nothing serious, just a “hello, how are you” ( and all that crap that comes after that), well then one night the “unimaginable” happened, we kissed, we slept together, and now, after 11 months of going out we are “living” together “temporally”, “nothing serious” (This was 6 months ago). I thought, “Well, I guess it should be fun, the other guy was never there when I needed him the most and at least this guy is here with me so, what the heck!” (right?…wrong!…so…so…wrong!)

The problem of living with someone is that you start to feel like there is a commitment (that would be me, the committed Yoli) when there really isn’t one because there’s nothing tying you to the person you are living/sleeping with (that would be “Him”, the uncommitted “Him”), but at the same time if you “love” that someone, the commitment “automatically appears” in the relationship (right? … of course is right, why shouldn’t it be?… right?).

So the living/sleeping together thingy with someone made me ponder of the “Pros” and “Cons”.

The nicest things of living with someone is:

1. You wake up every morning with someone by your side giving you little
kisses and saying “Good Morning baby”

2. You fix dinner and lunch for 2 (not your cat and you, it’s you and “that
someone” now), plus you don’t eat with the TV on, you have someone to
talk to while you’re eating.

3. You have someone to talk to when someone made you angry at work or
something nice happened to you in the day. That way you won’t look like
a “weirdo” when you’re talking to your pet (in my case cat) about your
things in life and your pet just…meows/barks at you.

4. You play around with “that someone” in the supermarket while you’re
buying groceries for both. It makes it more fun, plus that avoids you to
wonder around the isles just looking for fattening munchies to eat when
you’re depressed, because depression simply is not there.

5. You get to have sex 6 nights out of seven (or least a quickie), so you
don’t need your special toys for your intimate entertainment.
6. After a day end, you get to use “that someone” as a pillow when you put
your head over that someone’s chest right before you go to sleep.

The ugliest things about living with someone when “that someone” is “Not” there:

1. Knowing that you are living with someone and that someone doesn’t show
up at a decent time to at least see your face before you take off your
make up and put your “favorite” jammies. That way “that someone”
will “remember” how pretty you are when you don’t have drawl all over
your face and your hair has the mark of the pillow on one side of your
head.

2. Knowing you’re living with someone and the last time you saw “that
someone” was Sunday night, now it’s been three consecutive days and
you still haven’t seen “that someone” but you know “that someone”
comes to sleep every night because you can feel the “bulk” pushing you to
the edge of the bed with your butt freezing because most of the blankets
are covering the “bulk”.

3. Something great happened to you today and you want to run home and
tell “that someone”, oh! Forgot that someone comes home “late”, so you
just call your best friend to catch up with the great things that happened
to both.

4. It’s Friday night, you want to go party/dancing/dining/etc., it’s 9:00 pm
and “that someone” is “Not” yet home, you’re getting sleepy, 10 minutes
later, you fell asleep.

5. You just watched a very horny movie in HBO, you decide to take a
shower, wear something sexy and wait for “that someone” to eat from
head to toes; 20 minutes later, the fever cools off, and the only thing
you’re thinking about is wearing something warm and fall asleep.

6. You need help, you car broke, you have a headache/you had food
poisoning/diarrhea/etc. who you gonna call? ... yup!, you better call the
Ghost Busters ‘cause your “someone” is at the family house having
dinner, solving family problems or just catching up on yesterday’s family
news and he/she aint coming to the rescue.

In conclusion, I think I ended up in the same situation I ran out from 6 years ago, and the whining and arguing and complaining about “that someone” not been there when you need it has me sleepless every time I touch the subject.

In analysis, one of two things I will have to do to if I still want to look 30 when I reach 30 or better yet 35:

a. I break up with “that someone” and look for another “someone”; that who
knows, maybe will end up better, the same or even worst, or,

b. I stop whining about “that someone” not being there so I can rest in my
sleep.


According to my “psyque”, I won’t do (a) because, I have feelings for the guy, besides looking at it from the cold side of things, he helps me pay the rent; and (b) would be a good choice… for now, but eventually I will get back to the whining, and complaining. So, I won’t do either of those. As a result, most probably I will end up looking like 45 when I reach 30. Looking at it from the bright side, in appearance I will look as old as my b/f.

Then End.

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