1.When people ask you what time it is and point to their wrist… I know where my wrist is! You don’t? When you ask where the restroom is do you point your butt too?
2.People who say “Hey dear” to ask you for something…I’m not your dear! Do you know what food makes me gassy? No right? Jackass!
3.It really, really pisses me off the people who are willing to search every corner of the house to find the remote control but are too damn lazy to change the channel.
4.When people tell you, “It always is in the last place you look for”… DUH! If it was in the first place I looked for why should I keep looking? PLEASE!
5.When you’re at the movies and the person next to you says “Did you see that?”…No dumbass! I paid 20 dlls to come to the movies and look at the ceiling! (These kind of people do not deserve to have a brain)
6.People who asks you “Can I ask you something?”…Like you’re giving me another choice! Just shoot the damn question!
7.Stupid questions when you say or do something:
a)I got stolen!…Who did it?
b) I lost my purse/wallet!…Where?
c) Something obvious happened to you and they ask “What happened to you? Did you cut your hair?” No A.H. I fold it and put duck tape in the back, or No, someone bite it till it got short.
d) “Oh You’re pregnant!”… No Dumbass! I swallowed a football and I am keeping 9 it for months.
e) “You’re here?”… No butthead! You’re looking at a freakin’ hologram
f) When you’re somewhere and the conduct should be obvious like a football field, a movie theater, a restaurant or a library, they say. “What are you doing here?”… Nothing, Just came here to wave at the waiters and I’m leaving, I came here to scratch my butt, I came to the library to get drunk and have a party. Jackass!
g) “Oh don’t tell me you’re smoking”… Nooooo! I’m just inhaling and exhaling cigarette smoke, but I’m not smoking!
h) “Are you crying?”… No, I’m laughing so hard tears are coming outta my eyes. A.H.
i) “Are you angry? No come on, tell me the truth, you’re angry right?… If you know everything then why in hell are you asking?