Friday, December 17, 2004

The Last Friday Quickie!

Of the year, don't get all excited...

I'm off and out of here for three reasons:

1.- Everybody is gone for vacations

2.- I have nothing to post because everybody has gone for vacations.

3.- I am off for vacations

Yes I'm taking a week and a half off not because I want to, but because Nutter Industries makes me to; if I had a choice I would stand infront of the company with a big sign saying "I work for a living, if I don't work I die of starvation". But that would mean my resignation letter right there and really I have no choice right now but to take the week off.

So I'm going to squeeze the best out of that week and a half and do what I love best....

I still don't know what I love best, but I'll find out during that whole week and a half off, I mean, I have a lot of time off to think, and reminize, and think about it over the pillow, and under my blankets aswell because is too damn cold to be laying in bed just with my pink flannel pijamas with sleeping sheeps.

I'm not a christmas person so I'll just wish you all a nice holiday and hope you have good luck with all the gifts you're getting.

Happy Friday Everyone!

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

I Got your Paper Right Here!

Hm…yeah…

I’m running out of repertory as the year ends, plus there’s nothing much to say but life is boring this time of year, so boring I had to look for some action out of my house.

Friday night boyfriend and I went to the Public Ministry to cancel the search for the stolen car my boyfriend recovered 3 months ago.

To make this long story short, I had a nice fight with the baboon sitting in front desk attending the cases and also his master the ministerial police and didn’t resolve anything at the end because I was missing the temporary tag of the stolen vehicle because that would proof the car is my boyfriend’s car when I actually had the original documents together that proved the recovery of the stolen vehicle; to this day I don’t understand what he and other three people were talking about. After talking to a few other people going through the same deal as me they told me that the other paper I was missing was a green bill with the picture of Andrew Jackson.

You see, in my country corruption and bureaucracy go by hand so if a procedure should take a day or two to resolve in my country would probably take around 3 months or more because it needs 3 boxes of pens for signatures and 10 trees of paperwork to fill out and if you want to speed up the procedure to jump a few other signatures well you should show a little guy stamped in a bill called money.

I should have known better; next time if I need to do something and the baboon in front of me asks me for another paper I should simply take my wallet out and show him the paper he needs, that way I will avoid me some colon irritation and stomach pain plus a heavy pain in my back I haven’t been able to heal since Friday night.

Happy Tuesday Everyone!

Friday, December 10, 2004

Friday the Quickie!

Now this I would give my children to listen…

I heard this “Christmas song” in the same radio station this morning (I know I should be changing it by now but I’m lazy alright?); I was about to crash when I paid attention to the lyrics. It really cracked me up, so I’ll just pass it along for you to enjoy and if you can find it in the net to listen to, I highly recommend it.

I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas

Words and music by John Rox (1950) ~ Sung by Gayla Peevey (1953)

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
Only a hippopotamus will do
Don't want a doll, no dinky Tinker Toy
I want a hippopotamus to play with and enjoy
I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
I don't think Santa Claus will mind, do you?
He won't have to use our dirty chimney flue
Just bring him through the front door,
that's the easy thing to do

I can see me now on Christmas morning,
creeping down the stairs
Oh what joy and what surprise
when I open up my eyes
to see a hippo hero standing there

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
Only a hippopotamus will do
No crocodiles, no rhinoceroses
I only like hippopotamuses
And hippopotamuses like me too

Mom says the hippo would eat me up,
but then Teacher says a hippo is a
veg-e-ter-i-an
There's lots of room for him in our two-car garage
I'd feed him there and wash him there
and give him his massage

I can see me now on Christmas morning,
creeping down the stairs
Oh what joy and what surprise
when I open up my eyes
to see a hippo hero standing there

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
Only a hippopotamus will do
No crocodiles or rhinoceroses
I only like hippopotamuses
And hippopotamuses like me too!

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Christmas is Almost Here!

Speaking of Christmas…

There’s this radio station I’m listening to every morning and afternoon and apparently they think everybody who listens to them are “Christmas lovers” so they decided to put 1 or 2 Christmas songs between every regular pop rock song they have in the play list and this has happened after Thanksgiving holiday.

I absolutely dislike Christmas songs or anything related to Christmas, excuse the language but I think it's stupid, discriminative, elitist and dishonest (No I am not a Jehovah’s Witness or an atheist, I am a Catholic by name not by practice). For example; I was listening the other day the song of “Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer”…WTF! This song is one of the most, discriminating, elitist songs ever written in the history of classic Christmas songs; just because Rudolph is different does it deserve to be called out names, left aside and excluded from playing with the other reindeers because he had a very big shiny nose that glowed? Oh but because big good ole Santa Claus called him to lead his slay everybody in Toy Land loved Rudolph and became so popular that now everybody wanted to be with him.

What the hell is wrong with you people making up negative, influential songs in Christmas time? I spit at society standards (pardon my language).

I can completely relate to Rudolph as well as all the obese, ugly people and “human freaks” around the globe relate to it. I was an obese little girl and I used to be called out names; I was always left aside when playing games and absolutely nobody wanted to play with me because I was fat and ugly; even the teachers never did liked me and always gave me reasons to put a bad grade on my tests and home works. One day, the school wanted to gather many kids with musical talents to play in a band and of course I loved music and I wanted to join in; kids didn’t want me to be there because they said I looked ridiculous with an instrument on my belly “Whatcha gonna get, a big trombone to match your big fatness?” They said. I didn’t pay attention to them so I joined the band; after a few weeks I was on top of all those kids with the highest grade, my music teacher, who was the school principal at that time, saw that and he asked me to lead the band and help the rest of the kids who were getting behind with music lessons. I became the teacher’s pet, so that meant what ever I suggested to my teacher I would consider it done; I was popular between the masses. So guess how that ended; yes, everybody loved me and wanted to sit with me in class and wanted me to go to their birthday parties.

Up to this date, it keeps happening, they see this chubby girl who’s looking for a job, look at me up and down and after that they take a look at my resume, see I’m always the big head’s pet and of course I must be hired.

So you see? If Santa didn’t call Rudolph out to be the leader, and I wouldn’t have been called by the School principal to lead the music band Rudolph and I would be homeless, or alcoholic, or ended up in a mental hospital from all the psychological damage, or even worst, we would be found dead from suicide.

Conclusion: Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer is a bad influence for kids. If I were a parent I would listen the hidden message in every song before playing it to my children.

And yes I am very green right now!

Happy Wednesday Everyone!

Monday, December 06, 2004

A New Day, A New Month!

Ah Crap…

Sorry about that, I just haven’t have the time to grouch myself over here. I’ve been busy, again, this is not new I know but hey, at least I’m doing something productive…for my company not for me.

Friday was our Christmas dinner at Nutter Industries. It was…I don’t know, I went there and after 5 minutes I had to leave, why? Because we spent almost an hour trying to find that dinner place which was well hidden between a big Motel and a big crossing bridge, I was not wearing my glasses and in the night all I can see are just little sparks of light around me, so there, I’m guilty for not wearing contacts. What ever!.

When we got to the party it was already 10 pm, boyfriend and I were starving and dinner would start at 9ish, so we thought we could still make it for the dinner, but we were wrong. Despite that, I am an anti social freak so I don’t get along with anybody but myself, and my boyfriend so if we were going to seat somewhere or with someone, it would be with someone at least we know so the situation wouldn’t feel so tense. My department people were sitting in one table, and the table was crowded, there was no room but only one seat available because this big ass fat-so-called Process Engineer and Master Degree in other crap was sitting in our formerly saved seat for me and b/f and there was no way I was going to seat my boyfriend in a corner near some dorks I don’t know. Anyhoo, we saw one seat and so we said, let’s go, we’re hungry and dinner is way passed. So we left, without saying goodbye. I’m a genius.

And there it went my big Christmas party, with an hour of wasted time and 5 minutes of feeling beautiful and hungry. What ever!

Did I mention I took the King Size wannabe comforter back? Oh yes, and I got my money back and with that money I bought Bath and body works creams and other thingies worth more than the king size wannabe comforter, so now I’m broke but a good smelling one, boyfriend can’t complain about that.

Did I mention again it rained…again? Well yes, It seems the dirt mountains and rock made roads are getting deeper and deeper, I think the San Andrea fault is crossing right where I’m crossing to go to work.

If I don’t come back, look for me in the underground.

California is sinking I tell ya!

Happy Monday Everyone!

Thursday, December 02, 2004

1 Potato, 2 Potatoes, 3 Potatoes, 4!

This is eternal torture…

Thursdays are the worst ever, is the longest day of my life, it’s been 2 hours exactly since I checked in for work and I feel as if I already stayed here for half a day, so I’ve been singing a typical childrens song of the “Elephant standing on the web” that is something like the song of the “Trizillion bottles of beer on the wall”.

Good thing we have heater now, we’ve been technically freezing our butts off for the last two weeks because the heater system was not working, so this is suppose to be the problem of maintenance people and they should solve it right away right? Well actually no, they were actually betting to see which department would survive the freezing cold of the air conditioning at 50ºF excluding the General Management area of course and I was not going to be the one standing the freezing cold. I had to stand up, but then I went back to my chair because my knee bones were numb, of course, from the freezing cold. It came to the point that I had cramps on my hands (where have you ever hear that before?) every 10 minutes; I could not type, I could not move my fingers to do anything and, I could not even pick my own nose and that is not fair. Of course that would be a great excuse to not work but hell did I had tons of work to do so that was really delaying myself and forcing me to stay over time, which I did on Tuesday because I could not have my work done on time because my fingers were more like frozen fish sticks.

Then it occurred to me, wear my leather gloves and that way I can finish up what I have to do, but that didn’t work either, if I wanted to type a 1 in the computer, the 4 and the 7 and maybe the 5 would join it; I got angry.

I made a mini campaign inside our department to stand up and rebel against the freezing air conditioning so I said to my co-worker “I cannot take it anymore, I’m going to due frozen and I can’t work anymore, can you?” He said “Yes of course” (of course it was not true, he was turning blue although he was wearing this heavy snow jacket over him that made him look like the Michelin Guy). “I don’t believe you, you’re shaking” I said, “we must do something about this inhumane treatment towards us the Homo-Sapiens!” I am not an animal, I am John Merrick!”

Eek…wrong story. Ahem!

So After all that back and forth of “yes you’re freezing, admit it…no I’m not” finally we decided he should send the email requesting to turn off the air conditioning. Of course after a day of crying and pleading we now have heater, which was turn off just a few minutes ago which means my fingers are getting numb again.

Dammit!

Freezing Thursday Everyone!

Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Nightmare on 50% Off Street!

I’m not kidding…

How beautiful to spend your money on something you know it was a great deal and a bargain; the best quality at the lowest price ever at the best of the best of department stores. I’m not talking about good will, I’m not talking about the Salvation army store and I’m definitely not talking about a flea market. I’m talking about a good Department store. I wanted to buy a new comforter for the winter and I kept looking and searching for one that me and my boyfriend would like, it took me around 30 minutes to search for a King Size comforter, cause there weren’t any, all of them where twin size and full size; suddenly I turn around and there it was this beauuutiful Persian style comforter 50% Off it’s original price, and it was the only color, only size, and it was going to be mine, all mine, just for me; so I didn’t thought about it twice, I just grabbed it and took it home with me along with other great deals. I was the happiest woman on earth to be that lucky.

I get home; I unwrap my comforter and take it all out to put it on my bed. I take one pillow case and I take the comforter out, and where’s the other pillow case if there’s supposed to be 2 pillow cases in a king size comforter. I checked the plastic bag; I check inside the comforter, I check inside the pillow case, maybe they putted in there. My boyfriend is looking at my hysterical face while I’m shouting, “Where’s the other pillow case dammit!” By then, I wanted to cry. I take a look at the pillow case like asking it “Where did you leave your little brother huh? Did I drop it? Why didn’t you tell me, where is it dammit?” So while interrogating the pillow case about it’s mate, I see this pillow case is not the size of a king size pillow case, it actually looks smaller, like a full size pillow case.

I check the comforter bag and it says King Size, that can’t be wrong then, it says King Size right there, so why is there a full size pillow case inside a King Size bag? Is someone trying to play a joke on me? This isn’t funny!

By this time my boyfriend is worried because I’m about to kill the pillow case for being a liar to me, so he calms me down; “Don’t worry”, he says, “We’ll keep the comforter and you just take the pillow cases back for exchange”. It’s not easy, is not like you’re going to take a pair of pants for exchange because they were short and you’re getting a larger size; No, it was a discounted comforter and they must be all gone by now.

With doubts on my mind I put the comforter on top of my bed and “Aha!” I exclaim, “This is not a King size comforter, this is a full size comforter, look at it, it barely covers the mattress, I know I’m not crazy” I’ve been tricked, played by a fool making me think if they put this comforter on a king size bag I will believe is a King size?

I don’t know if I should sue this department store for playing tricks on me or should I get my money back, because I don’t want any other comforter in exchange, that was the one I wanted, we were meant to be together, they played with my feelings you know.

So now I have to drive all the way back to that store, which is not near by, first it’s across the border, so I should go to the US, which means a 45 minute waiting in line, then answer a bunch of questions from the US inspector of where am I going and why am I going to the US and for how long am I staying in there and all that crap. Hey, is not like I’m going to kill anybody or put a bomb in there man, I’m just going to get this freaking King Size wannabe comforter back and take my money out of your country and back to my pocket. Then I should wait for someone to give me my money back and then come back. What a freaking waste of time.

I’m suing this store!

Happy Tuesday Everyone!

Thursday, November 25, 2004

FELIZ TURKEY DAY!

Who's having a 4 day weekend?...You are!...

Alright, this isn't going to be a long post because I'm busy, but still I want to wish you all Americans and non americans who anyway enjoy eating turkey a very Happy Thanksgiving holiday and weekend and all that crap that comes along with it.

I'm happy, 'cause I have no boss to piss me around so even I am getting a little bit of your holiday, woo hoo!

Eat alot and enjoy your days off

Happy Thursday Everyone!

Monday, November 22, 2004

Crappy Monday!

Yeah I stepped with the wrong foot today...

Ok, there was no friday quickie because I had a day off on Friday due to our Revolution Day Holiday so I didn't come to work and I spent most of the weekend at home.

But seems that all that rest didn't do any good to me this morning starting with my hair. I look like I belong to a family of lions because it's fluffy as hell and the weather is not dry at all. We have rain...again...oh yes believe it or not. California is sinking under the ocean i know it!

Then, this morning right before I started all my daily reports I needed to charge my stapler and I cut my midle finger...how? I don't know, all I know is lucky I didn't chop my finger in half along with my nail, I can't write very well because it hurts like hell and the cut is way down to the bone, I can see my own bone, isn't that cool? It would be if I didn't have the emergency to do these reports, I'm a lefty so this should be considered as a on the job accident and I should be sent home.

Anyhoo, as long as the building roof doens't fall over me or a rock hits my head or I don't slip on a banana peel I'm alright.

Happy Monday Everyone!

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Cell Phones for the Elderly!

They should have parental authorization…

3 months ago I “cancelled” (stopped paying my cell phone bill because they wouldn’t let me cancel it) my cell phone contract; I kept the receiver and I heard this great deal with this other company that was offering to change your old phone from another company for a brand new phone with their company so I thought of giving it a try, the only problem is that I haven’t had the time to do so because the offices close at 6 pm and by the time I get there is already 6:15 so the old phone with the “cancelled” line is still sitting on the kitchen counter waiting to be exchanged.

While I kept my promise of giving my dad that brand new phone, I guess my dad got tired of waiting for that to happen so he decided to buy his own cell phone yesterday. You might think, that the old cell phone will be then for myself as my parents have their own cell phone; well that’s not exactly how it goes, he still wants another phone. You see, my dad is a technology freak, so every new electronic little gadget that appears on the market he will dream of having it (he can’t buy them because his retirement money is not that much to buy everything he wants). About 5 years ago my dad bought two cell phones, one for my mom and another one for him; what was that for? So they could call each other if they needed something. My parents never spare apart, they go together everywhere, still, my dad wants the comfort of having two cell phones just in case one of them is missing somewhere.

One day I saw this entertaining scene:

Dad’s cell: Riing Riing!

Mom: Hello?

Dad: I was just checking if this cell phone is working alright.

Mom: Oh ok, where are you?

Dad: In the living room, how do I sound

Mom: You sound ok.

Dad: Good, whatcha doing?

Mom: Fixing breakfast

Dad: Whatcha fixing?

Mom: Scrambled eggs, toast and coffee

Dad: Sounds good, ok, I’ll hang up now.

30 mins later…

Dad’s cell: Riing Riiiing!

Mom: Hello?

Dad: I’m just checking again, can you hear me well?

Mom: Where are you?

Dad: I’m in the toilet, how do I sound?Mom: You sound ok

Dad: Whatcha doing?

Mom: Watching TV

Dad: What are you whatching? (Flluusshhhhh)

Mom: A soap opera

Dad: (Walks into the living room) is it good?

Mom: Yes, why don’t you join me?

Dad: (walks into the living room) Ok, I’ll hang up now.

30 minutes later….

Dad’s Cell: Riiiing Riiiing

Mom: Hello?

Dad: It’s me again. Can you call me? I want to know if this thing works alright.

Mom: Ok, but how do I work this thing

Dad: Ok let me go over there

Mom: Where are you?

Dad: I’m outside the house, how do I sound?

Mom: You sound ok to me

Dad: (walks inside the house, still with phone on hand and stands infront of mom) Ok, push this little red button you see on your right

Mom: Ok, (pushes the little red button)

Dad: Ok you just hung up on me, now call me

Mom’s cell: Riiinng Riiiiing

Dad: Hello?

Mom: Oooh! This is great! How do I sound?

Dad: (looking at mom) you sound great, see how easy this is?

Mom: Yes but you’ll have to walk me through it again when I need to.

Dad: Ok, I’m hanging up now.

Mom: Ok..bye.

Why can’t they just put two plastic cups and one big string and talk to each other like that, just like The Flintstones instead of wasting their money on the “How do I sound, I just want to check if this thing is working alright”

Parents, they’re just like kids when they get old

Happy Wednesday Everyone!

Monday, November 15, 2004

The Problems of Being Retired!

And old…

I really can’t believe how my mom can handle my dad so smoothly; I would be in the nut house by now if I were still living with my parents, especially with dad; I mean, dad is the kind of man who measures everything, I mean, .E.V.E.RY.T.H.I.N.G. My dad had this issue with the bed that could not bare to see because the bed skirt was not even with the floor because the bed was too short, so he put blocks of wood to make the bed higher, and it did work but my dad forgot to put the bed skirt back to its place, so he asked me if I could help him and so I did.

My dad saw the bed was not exactly even with the wall also and he asked me to push the bed a little bit, but as I did that the bed fell down from the blocks of wood my dad placed underneath the wheels of the bed…oops!

Dad: Oh! Look at that, it took me long time to put those in there

Me: Sorry dad, I thought you took out the wheels before you put the blocks in there, you should have told me. I’ll help you put them back.

Dad: Ok, but we’ll have the pick up the bed

What the hell is inside that bed that makes it so damn heavy? Does it have rocks inside or a dead guy in there? It is the heaviest bed you can ever imagine and is a king size bed; anyway we managed to take out the mattress and the bases. My dad loves to fix everything with either duck tape or scotch tape or anything that looks like a tape will do and he has big rolls of duck tape around the house because he uses a lot of it. So my dad had this great idea of taping the wheels with the wood together and he brought his big roll of duck tape. To make that part short, he finished the roll of duck tape not to mention it was a brand new roll, but he did join the wheels with the blocks though.

Now that was not the “big deal”, the big deal came when we were going to put the blankets over the mattress.

Dad: Ok, now see if this side of the blanket is even with the other side of the blanket sweetie.

Me: It’s even dad.

Dad: Are you sure? Cause later in the night your mom has more blanket than I have

Me: Ok, let me see (I go around the bed to see if the blankets are distributed evenly) They’re even dad.

Dad: Oh look, there’s too much blanket on the top and very little at the end; honey, can you come here a minute? (mom walks inside)

Mom: Yes dear?

Dad: what do you think? Should we leave the blankets like this or should we pull them down, but not too much because then we’ll have a huge bump under the mattress and you know how I am.

Mom: I think we should leave it that way; it looks ok to me.

Dad: Are you sure? ‘Cause then we pull the blankets and we leave our feet in the air and it’s cold at night.

Mom: Well then, we should pull them down if you think we should.

Dad: Yeah we should.

And the circus begins…

Dad: Now don’t pull too much or you won’t leave us enough blankets to cover the shoulders

Mom: Alright…is this ok?

Dad: Yeah but you pulled too much on the other side, now we’ll have to make it even and I think is too much, let’s see. (Dad goes around and practically measures the blanket to see how much mom pulled) You see? You pulled too much, I’ll pull it back (he pulls back)

Mom: Honey, the blankets are all wrinkled now you see?

Dad: We’ll get on that later, are the blankets even on the sides? Sweetie can you take a look and see if they’re even?

Me: Ok dad, (I go around the bed) It’s fine dad.

Dad: Are you sure?

Me: Yes dad, I’m sure

10 minutes later after leaving the blanket perfectly in place…

Dad: Now hand me the comforter sweetie please.

Mom: No, not like that, remember you we put it that way so the comforter didn’t fall on the floor? Put it the other way around now that the bed is tall.

Dad: Sweetie, can you check if the comforter is even on both sides?

Me: Yeah dad, is good.

Dad: Now can you check if the comforter is covering the blankets and the covers and is even with the bed skirt? We don’t want the blankets to show. Oh and also check if the bed skirt is on the floor, we don’t want the wheels to show either.

Me: (goes around and around and around the bed) Well the bed skirt is falling a little bit on the floor in this side but is not too much.

Dad: How much? About how many inches?

Me: I don’t know, 1/16 I guess?

Dad: We’ll have to pull the bed skirt from underneath the mattress to make it even.

Inner Me: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

That kept for around 30 minutes or so but you can get the idea of how my parents are regarding things, what ever. That shows, my dad doesn’t have much to do but to measure “things” and fix things with tape.

Though I would never change my parents for any other parents, they entertain me quite a lot.

Happy Monday Everyone!

Friday, November 12, 2004

It’s Quick, ‘cause it’s Friday!

Dedicated to Tricia…

It’s Friday, I’m so happy I could kiss my boss right now and give him a quickie but I won’t, he would die on me and also that’s too gross; plus someone would accuse me of murdering an old man and I could get into trouble. Everybody would think I did it because I wanted him to pay me the Christmas days off I’m involuntarily having but as he refused I had to please him with some hard core dirty hurtful sex when he died of a heart attack because he forgot to take his medication when he went upstairs for a coffee when he found the receptionist bending over to pick up the little red straws to stir the coffee and he just kept looking at her big round tight buns in those tight jeans when he found out he spilled the boiling coffee over his crotch and had a 1st degree burn, he had to run downstairs to H.R. to get some anti burn ointment for his wee wee, he then went to the mens room to rub the ointment but he found the mens room was closed for repair so he had to run all the way down to his office, he was in such a hurry he forgot to turn on the lights and lock the door, so when he pulled his pants down and was rubbing the ointment in his wee wee I walked into his office ‘cause I didn’t know my boss was there, so I heard this weird moaning sound, I turned on the lights and see the most disgusting thing ever and so I yelled “Oh my goodness, not only you don’t want to pay me for the days off but you’re also a pervert bastard!”. As I said that, the maintenance supervisor saw the whole scene from the window and called the Police, he accused me of murdering my boss by burning him and causing him a heart attack.

So you see? That’s why I’m not giving him any quickies, besides, there are a bunch of windows with no shades in this building and a bunch of little cameras looking at me funny.

If I sounded confusing that’s just you trying to make me think I’m confusing.

Happy Friday Everyone!

Thursday, November 11, 2004

I'm Beeeezeeee!

Beezee like a Beezee Bee....

This is horrendous, or how ever you spell that, is horrible I tell ya! I haven't have the time for anything. It's been crazy. My eyes are twisted I can't see well, I've been in the computer 10 hours straight and don't get any rest.

I think my butt is flat as a piece of wood.

Anyway, I just stopped by to check how the business is going on around here, this is like a Friday quickie but it really isn't so don't get all fuzzy and excited about it, we're still one more day till the weekend comes. (God I can hardly wait..wait a minute I just said God...twice...Agh! I need a vacation)

Speaking of vacations, the "Christmas Vacation Survey" dropped into my hands yesterday morning and believe me it was a ridiculous survey and it went something like this:

"This is a survey so we can have a better understanding of your needs for survival, you must only choose one of the following options.

You're standing in the midle of a railroad crossing over a very tight bridge and you're about to get hit by a train, what would you choose?

A. Get away from the rail road crossing and jump off the dry river bridge which is completely dry with no water.

B. Get away from the rail road crossing by running as fast as you can then jump off the dry river bridge which is completely dry with no water.

C. Other options? Please explain in Details:_______________

Disclaimer: Calling 911 on your cell phone is not an option, the reception there is very bad, the train conductor is deaf and also blind so there's no way you can make him stop at 300 mph. You may grow wings but this ain't heaven you know."

So this means yes, we're having a holiday Shut down and No, we're not getting paid for those days off.

Thank you.

Happy Thursday Everyone.

Monday, November 08, 2004

Why?!

I don’t know…

Friday afternoon, I am walking up to my boss’s office to tell him I’m working on Saturday to pay him back one of the two days I was off for the flu:

Me: Mr. Nutter Boss, I’m going to come tomorrow to pay you last Wednesday when I was sick.

Mr. Nutter Boss: And what are you going to do or what or what or what?

Me: I’m catching up on some pendings, I have and some delayed work and I’m going to work on the reports from this morning.

Mr. Nutter Boss: (Turns around on his chair and looks at the ceiling)

Me: Waiting for his answer

Mr. Nutter Boss: Still staring at the ceiling

Me: Still waiting…

Mr. Nutter Boss: Turns to look at me, then the ceiling

Me: Still waiting…

Mr. Nutter Boss: Makes a move as if he wants to tell me something, then looks at the ceiling

Me: I’m getting tired of still waiting…

5 Minutes later my boss kept looking at the ceiling:

Mr. Nutter Boss: Hmmm…No, don’t come tomorrow, keep owing me those days in case I really need you to stay for something important.

Inner Me: Nooooooooooo

Me: Are you sure Sir?

Mr. Nutter Boss: Yes, so let’s wait until that time comes.

Me: Ok

Inner Me: God dammit! I’m going to have to go to the Christmas party…f..ck!

In other news:

We’re having more rain, more mud, more holes, more cars without shocks and tires are running out of rubber. The end of the world is coming; California is going to sink inside the Ocean!

I’ll leave you with that thought.

Happy Monday Everyone!

Friday, November 05, 2004

Funkylicious Friday Quickie!

Now that’s the way uh huh, uh huh I like it…

At last the omnipresent didn’t turn its back on me, I’m happy. After the rotten avocado mood I was in yesterday we had our crappy Nutter Industries Informative Meeting for all personnel in the plant and guess what? We are working in December, Bwaahahaha.

Some people were sad, some were mad, others refused to work and preferred to resign; I was so stinking happy, although not so happy about the fact is really not a fact, yet but soon it will be. Some of the raisin brains in my company wanted to leave without pay, alright, and I thought they were the most in need of work but it looked like they didn’t.

So we are still on the way to know if the production personnel will want to work or not during the shut down; if there are a few who are willing to do it, it might as well better to shut down the entire plant as is not worth to open it with just 10 production workers around so we’ll see what they will come up with next. In the mean time I’m having my victory dance…wee!

In the same matter of the subject, I’ll have to work tomorrow, boo, I have to pay the days I was off when I was sick, what they don’t know is I’m not really working, I’m going to blog around till I stink, yeah!

Happy Funky Friday Everyone!

Thursday, November 04, 2004

Christmas is coming!

I hate Freaking Christmas...

Not only because is the most mushy time of the year but also because is the time when the mayority of the companies are shutting down for the holidays.

In my case, I've been in two companies already where they've shutted down without paying us for those days without work, of course is not their obbligation to pay us for a non-working day but is unfair when we as workers do not want to rest when we are in need of money.

At the other crappy joint I used to work, my crappy boss changed his mind every minute of the day; first he said there would be working days in december, then he decided we were not working in december and would shut down for 3 weeks without pay. That thought was since September of last year and the decision kept changing back and forth until december came over us and my crappy boss decided we would shut down for 3 three weeks, of course without pay, I was freaking mad that there were no plans for shut down like paying saturdays in advance or working the on holidays to pay off those days in december so we could have our salary but noooooooooo crappy boss didn't think about that. Ass H.

Now at Nutter Industries, they are doing the same shhhhit, they're thinking of shutting down one day and the next day they're saying we are working. Now this doesn't give me a chance to look for a part time job, I cannot affort to stay off for 2 whole weeks without my salary and I should look for another job in the mean time. Why can't they just make up their freaking old minds? Bastards!

They think everybody here works for pleasure, and of course we are not. If I worked here for pleasure of course I would not be working in this crappy position with this crappy joint called desk; and of course I would have my own freaking company and plan my own shut down, but I am not working for pleasure here people, I work for money, everybody here works for money, all of those who are in a lower position than a manager or a director are hardly getting a salary that is basically just to pass the week by very tight and we cannot affort the luxury of having a non paid 2 week vacation.

I'm so freaking green right now I could just tare this whole place apart and resign my job right now!

Blaaaahhhh!

By the way, for those who voted for Bush, congratulations, you have 4 more years to send your young family to war. For those who voted for Kerry, I'm sorry about that defeat.

Happy Thursday Everyone!

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Randomness!

I’ll pick what ever is there…

We’re having visitors today, around 10 old men, 3 of them are wearing wings the old dusty rug kind of wigs (can I pass a vacuum over their heads please?) another 2 are bald, pool balls bald (I just want to wax their little bald heads and see them squeaky clean), why did I notice? Well, it caught to my attention, with all this technology with hair implants and crap and these people are the owners of other companies who buy our product and they’re stinking rich, I am asking to myself, don’t they have any money to do something about it? I think they’re cheap.

What you looking at fool? Haven’t you seen a chick in a suit before?

I usually come to work in very casual clothes but never jeans. Today there’s something different, the owner of this company Mr. Nutter is here to take a look of what we have done to his plant with a bunch of the people I mentioned above. I am used to call up attention with there’s something big going in anywhere and I always like to dress up adequately in any event, is no big deal but still I’m wearing a suit. Now I’m pissed; whiny pants girl have been teasing me about the suit, “Uh you look son nice, where’s the party at”? (how sarcastic!) Stupid woman! You should know better, you’re not going to be well seeing if the boss looks at you with your extremely washed dockers and that hair…I know there’s air woman but there are these little things with lots of things stuck to it that’s called a brush?

I don’t understand what’s up with her that really annoys me, she’s weird and she thinks she’s the Queen of England with better class and education (my toosh!).

On another note:

I’m being a good neighbor, our neighbors from the North are having a big day today and I’m supporting what ever is best for their country, not only because I want to be a good neighbor but also because it will affect our country later on as well as other countries who are affiliated with the US. Now I don’t know about the red and blue areas but being an outsider and being able to see what’s going on behind the big metal fence that is dividing us I have a very good view of what is going on over there; I just hope my neighbors make a very good choice. I already have my favorite candidate and I hope he wins.

Good Luck America!

Happy Tuesday Everyone!

Monday, November 01, 2004

Flu Hangover!

Oh what a weekend…

I’m back, and I’m happy, happy I can go out and see the sunshine, happy I can smell the fresh polluted air from all the buses that go around without a smog check, happy that I can now get back to work on my delayed to do list that has increased now to the size of a big letter to santa….(eesssh)

This ain’t pretty no more. Not have I only stayed in bed for 5 days because of this flu but now I have to figure out a way to pay the 3 days I was off from work because of this flu. The new Biatch H.R. Manager wants to implement a new checking system for all the administration personnel in here including supervisors and managers in the plant, and everybody is refusing to do such horrible thing, that means we will have to check when we’re out to get out breakfast, or when we’re going to the bank and do a payment, or when we are off from work because of sickness which means if we are not checking our ins and outs it means “No Pay”.

I’m angry.

But I have no time to whine right now; I have tons of things to do today and the rest of the week besides getting angry at everybody. By the way, I want my Halloween candy; hope the girls saved my candy somewhere.

Happy Monday Everyone!

Monday, October 25, 2004

Icky Monday!

I feel Bleah…

I’ve had a bad sinus headache since Friday and it’s not going away, I want to take my eyes out and put them in a glass of icy water maybe the pain will go away, or I just might have a big brain freeze and drop into a coma. Anything is better than this headache.

Weekend was not nice, me and my big mouth I don’t know when I will learn; first last week oh yeah I told you that already, the Halloween fest, well I cooperated with going out on the weekend and find a good price for the cake and the candy and some balloons and other crap I already bought, but before that I had to get up at 6 am because I had to take my boyfriend’s car to the mechanic shop for break repair. So there went my super Saturday.

Sunday, well, agh! Had to get up early…again, although my head was killing me, my best friend had a little problem with the roof in her house so I asked my boyfriend if he could help, I would have helped but I’m afraid of heights so I left. Went home, cleaned up around the house, lots of dust by the way and I don’t know where that came from; did the laundry and the groceries. So there went the Sunday.

Monday, (yeah I’m not finished yet) we were supposed to get rain until tomorrow but looked like the little clouds wanted to “go” ahead of time. Did I hear that on the news last night? No. Was I prepared with a rain coat? No. So as soon as I walked out of my house and began driving I saw little bits of rain dropping on the windshield, now I couldn’t go back home ‘cause I was already running late. Now guess who’s getting worst with this flu?

Me!

The new HR manager was introduced to us this morning (apparently a super freak monster who my father knows since 16 years ago). This new HR manager has a bad reputation around the industry, everybody who worked or has friends who works where she used to work has something bad to say about this woman. We are afraid, especially me, my father worked with her when he used to work in production and my dad resigned the job she used to make war with my dad.

Now, let’s see, my last name is not popular between the masses, actually I’m an nearly extinct specie; we are only a few with my last name in Mexico and we are all family, so this woman as soon as she heard me saying my last name she gave me this weird look of “I’ve heard that last name before somewhere” (yes you have woman! Stay away from me you beast!). The worst thing I heard coming from this woman’s mouth was “I would like to spend some time with each and every one of you to know your functions in this company, especially I would like to focus in the Production Department as soon as possible” And again she gave me “that look”, she even closed her eyes a little bit.

That woman is a witch I tell you, a witch!

Happy Monday Everyone!

Friday, October 22, 2004

Ferocious Friday Quickie!

Yes I am ferocious today…

While everybody’s working over here I am having the time of my life blogging, isn’t work beautiful? Although a few of my workmates already know I just blog all day not because I told them but because they caught me, well actually just one girl caught me, the whiny pants girl I shall call her from now on, if you don’t remember her she’s the Manufacturing Eng. who thinks everybody is stupid except her.

Ok, enough about her, let’s get back to me. So she knows I just blog, and she’s pissed, pissed of the fact she’s a working slave and I am not, (in your face woman!) yeah she’s envious and I can feel the bad vibe going on with her over it so I decided to move away from her and for the rest of the people who surrounds her, so I am going to my loner self again, that means no lunching with anybody but myself and my book.

In other news and to finish this Friday quickie, we’re planning a Halloween fest next Friday, there were supposed to be 5 girls coordinating this and I only see myself and the front desk girl making all the arrangements while the rest of the girls are whistling their way out of it, wait a minute, they said they would participate and they’re not. Alright, no candy for those 3 including whiny pants with her whiny kid.

Move away people, I have a soar throat, my super banana oatmeal shake didn’t work, so it’s official I have the freaking flu (thanks DAD for sneezing on my face and spraying some of your germs over me) and I am not becoming a millionaire. Bleah!

And yes, I am in a very bad mood and just a color away from turning green!

Happy Friday Everyone! (Ashheeee!)

Thursday, October 21, 2004

What if I say Yes!

I think it won’t be good…

Yesterday as I was reading Monkey’s blog I remembered something funny (well not that it is funny but it sounded funny) Last week my dad wanted me to search in the US Embassy the requirements to get a tourist visa so I went to take a look at what was needed; well besides all the papers we have to take there there’s a visa request form that needs to be filled out and we must attach a picture to it as well. Between all the 50 something questions the form has there was a strange section where it asks you very weird questions and in the instructions said that answering Yes did not mean a visa denial but it would require further investigation and questions with a Consular inspector.

These are a few weird questions I found:

Have you ever been detained or convicted for a felony although you have been pardoned, or have been conceded amnesty, or have you been an object of any other similar action? Have you ever distributed or sold controlled substances such as drugs illicitly or have you been a prostitute o have you been a pimp?

Have you tried to get inside the USA to practice export control infractions, terrorist activities or subversive, or any other illicit purpose? Are you a member or do you represent any terrorist organization as stated in the Secretary of the United States of America? Have you practiced prosecutions directed by the Nazi government of Germany or have you been involved in any act of homicide?

Have you ever avoided taxes while you resided in the USA?

Have you suffered from an important contagious decease that could be dangerous to public health, or do you suffer from a mental or physical disorder, have you ever used drugs or are you a drug addict?

Only someone such as a mentally disoriented person would answer yes to any of those questions even if that person really do something such as items 1, 2 or 3.

Ah I kill me!

Happy Thursday Everyone!

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Do you have the Flu?

“Cause I don’t…Suckers….

I’ve been skipping the freaking virus by miracle, everybody in my company had or has it at this moment, everybody sneezes on my face, shakes my hand after blowing their noses, coughs right beside me; my dad has it and the last time I saw him the flu was mean to him, I thought I was going to get it but no, it was a false alarm. This morning I woke up with a wee of a soar throat and a little bit of a drippy nose but right now I just have the drippy kind of scared away and the soar throat disappeared when I drank my banana and oatmeal shake.

Could that be the antivirus for the flu? “Cause if it is I’m a fingernail away from becoming a millionaire.

Thought I gave you all the ingredients huh? Well no! I didn’t mention one, so then again, I’m becoming a millionaire!

In other news…

This “storm” is getting me on my nerves, last night when I came back from work I found my living room almost swimming around the house; some water went inside from under the door which is about an inch up from the floor. So after I found my living room soaked in water, I also found a bunch of cockroaches running around my kitchen looking for a place to hide away from me, ‘cause they know me, and they know I’ll kill them, I’m not a nice person. They think because it’s raining outside they are very welcome to stay in my kitchen and eat my cookies, well they’re wrong, I sprayed half a bottle of bug spray all over the house and guess what? They’re not dead yet.

A while ago I had ants, then I had mice, then I had fleas now I have roaches? I think I could manage all the other bugs but not the roaches, I hate roaches!

So with this little rant I will go away and keep “working” while looking out the window and watch the “storm” that’s hitting us. (I’m containing my laughter at the storm)

Happy Soaked Wednesday Everyone!

Monday, October 18, 2004

Rain Drops are falling on my Head!

And they call it a “Storm”…

Well, as I was saying to my friends the other day, “How come it’s fall and we don’t have cold weather or a little bit of rain?” We began the cold season and the weather’s been changing a lot lately. The weather forecast told us we were expecting rain since 2 weeks ago but seemed like the little cloud passed over and didn’t feel like “going”.

On Sunday night at about 2:00 am I heard a weird noise, like water falling out of a water pipe with strength, I thought it was my toilet that maybe broke a pipe or maybe my washer machine or something and I got up to check what it was. Still I couldn’t figure out what was going on until I checked the window outside, It’s raining?? We were not expecting rain this weekend were we? The weather was very hot in the afternoon and I was wearing sandals because it was too darn hot and now it’s raining? I really don’t get it.

It rained all night and part of the morning, my house woke up with a little bit of water inside the living room so I should figure the wind was quite strong. I turned on the news and what do you know? It was a storm that hit us in the night, I don’t know where it came from but it was a heavy rain. It didn’t cause too much of a struggle in my town although you could see lots of mud and rocks all over the street but besides that, the rest of the town was technically dry because of the 182 days we were without rain.

Poor dirt, it was thirsty.

On the other side, there were lots of damages in my neighbor country the USA. I heard there was some floods and mud slides in some parts of the San Diego county and it didn’t stop raining until later in that day.

I am thinking, if they had the kind of daily storms we are used to get in the South of Mexico; the entire area of California would be drowned under the sea by now. Everybody gets so scared with these puny drops of water that everybody wants to run away in Noah’s Arch.

I said to one of my work mates, why we didn’t get as much rain as the guys in San Diego? And my work mate said. “We are so poor not even the clouds come here for a visit”

That cracked me up.

Happy Monday Everyone!

Friday, October 15, 2004

This is a Friday Quickie!

And so we begin…

At my parents home last night:

Me: Baby we have to go now it’s already 9:30 pm

BF: Ok, let me just drink one glass of water and then we go.

Me: Oh leave that, you’ll drink the water at home, why bother?

(Big A. mistake)

Mom: You’re not going to give him the glass of water??!!!

Dad: Don’t be rude with your boyfriend and give him the glass of water!!.

BF: It’s ok, no problem, really.

Me: Mom, what’s the big fuzz about? Is just water.

Mom: No is not just water, is your attitude and your manners, and your future life; I never taught you to be like that, all women should take care of their men, because marriage…

And so the counseling began, and you really don’t want to know how it all ended after one and a half hours of preaching about how a woman should treat her husband so he doesn’t leave you for another woman who will take care of him better than you. Did I ever mention to them I had the intention of getting married?

Moral of the story:

If you’re at your parents home and your husband/boyfriend/partner/what ever asks you for a glass of water, just give it to him, it will avoid you a sleepless night.

Happy Friday Everyone!


Wednesday, October 13, 2004

A little bit of Me!

As I have nothing to post today...

I found this fourty something items questionaire in Kokoy's page, if I bore you I won't get upset if you leave.

1. What kind of first impression do you think you give people? Of an antisocial freak a Jehovah’s Witness, rude and mean.
2. What's one thing you like to do alone?Talk to myself infront of a mirror.
3. Are you a giver or a taker? I’m an absolute giver, If I take something I must give it back in one way or the other I don’t like to owe anything to anybody. It makes me feel very uncomfortable.
4. What have you stolen before? Once I tried to steal one Frito Lay Chip from an open bag inside a Supermarket but one supervisor caught me, I had the chip inside my stomach by then so I could not give it back. My mom had to pay for the whole bag though.
5. How many drinks before you're tipsy? Half a can of beer and I’m already on the roof thinking I’m Spider woman.
6. Do you ever have to beg? No, I hate that; I rather do things by my own.
7. What kind of books do you like to read?Anything that will get my attention at the moment. Except for those mushy love stories, hate them to death.
8. Do you think you're cute?Yeah, I know because people tell me so all the time. But not that kind of “Cute” being cute like “Oh look at that little puppy” kind of cute.
9. Do you have a problem changing clothes in front of your friends?Yes I do have a big problem with that.
10. What's the most painful experience you've ever had?Finish a 4 and a half year relationship with the love of my life.
11. Favorite communication method? Writing.
12. Do you care? N.O.!
13. What is your most prized piece of your music collection? All my Michael Jackson CD’s
14. What is the geekiest part of your music collection? All my Michael Jackson CD’s
15. What do you eat when you raid the fridge at night? Nothing. I rather not eat; I hate to go to the bathroom at night
16. What is your secret guaranteed weeping movie? The only one “Life is Beautiful” with Roberto Benigni Dec. 11 1998.
17. If you could have plastic surgery, what would you have done? A Lipectomy and a booby lift.
18. What is a physical habit that gives away your insecure moments? I crack my fingers and bite my lips.
19. Do you know anyone famous? No
20. Describe your bed. A soft and cozy King Size bed with lots and lots of nice and soft pillows oh and a huge body Pillow I just love that pillow is my favorite pillow. Oh yeah, I was talking about my bed, it’s tall too.
21. Spontaneous or planned? Planned, definitely planned.
22. Do you know how to play poker?Kinda but not too much.
23. What do you carry with you at all times? My purse, although I hate to carry it ‘cause it’s too freaking big, it looks like a diaper bag.
24. What do you miss most about being little? Nothing, the nightmare is gone.
25. Are you happy with your given name? Yes, now I am very much, before I hated my name.
26. How much money would it take to give up the internet for 1 year? If it is while at work, my whole yearly salary.
27. What color is your bedroom? It’s cream and white but the curtains are violet matching my quilt.
28. Have you ever been in a play? Yeah, once, and I’ll never do it again, I’m a lousy actress.
29. Do you like yourself and believe in yourself? Yes, I do, very much.
30. Do transient, homeless, or starving people sometimes annoy you? No, but they make me very sad, dammit, that means I do care. dought!.
31. Do you consider yourself to be a nice person? No, I consider myself a mean careless person.
32. Do you spend more time with your girlfriend/boyfriend or your friends? No, I spend more time with myself.
33. What's one thing you wish you could do but can't? Make hideous people disappear from the face of this earth with one snap of my fingers.
34. What is your ideal wedding location? As long as I’m getting married I don’t care about the location.
35. What's one instrument you wish you could play? The violin
36. Something you love and hate? My job.
37. What's one language you want to learn? Right now, Farsi, I want to know what my boyfriend’s family has to say when I’m here and I can’t understand a word they’re saying, maybe they’re talking about me.
38. What do you order at a bar? Depends on my mood, Kalua when I’m frisky, or a clamato when I’m feeling spicy.
39. Have you ever pierced your body parts? Do ears count?
40. Do you have any tattoos? Do the fake ones count? I’ve had sticky tattoos the ones that come inside the Cracker Jacks.
41. Would you admit to getting plastic surgery if confronted? Sure, why not? Plastic surgeries are always notorious, I would sound ridiculous if I said no.
42. What's one trait you hate in a person? Hypocrite, I hate hypocrites to death.
43. Do you consider yourself materialistic? Not at all.
44. What do you cook best? Beef with Green tomatoes and chipotle chilli.
45. Do you cry in front of your friends? No, I hate it, I want people to know I’m not a weak person.

Monday, October 11, 2004

Movie Horror!

With my parents it is…

I remember when I was a midget my parents used to take me to the movie theaters and you all might think “Oh how nice your parents were to take you to see your favorite movies”

Hell no!

They used to take me to see their adult movies, of course not all the time were those porn movies but most of the time with adult graphic scenes, sex and all that things kids are not suppose to see because they’re too young. So I guess I got some sort of trauma ever since when watching movies with my parents.

When I grew up and my parents didn’t go to the movies much anymore, they bought their VCR, and it was like being in hell; again, they would rent these movies with violent sex content and stuff I was still not supposed to watch because still I was too young to watch, although I was about 15 or 16 at the time, it was the worst someone could do to me. I mean, at the theater there wasn’t much of a problem because I just figured there were a lot of other kids around watching the same stuff like me and I was not alone, besides the lights were off and with it also was my shame. But when watching movies in your own home with your parents and the lights are on it’s a nightmare; I could not see the movie entirely because every time there was a sex scene I had the urge to get out of the living room and sometimes I didn’t come back to watch the movie, although it was very interesting not because of the sex scenes but because of the story I just felt, sick.

Anyhoo, now as an adult and a knower of the “occult under the blankets” I had my precautions when renting some sort of movies. I always read the synopsis and the rating of that movie and if it seemed family ok then I would rent it and have my parents watch it with me.

So being as precautions as I am, yesterday I made a big ass boo boo. We rented a few movies and between those there was Scary Movie 3 and Monster. I thought, well, I saw both of the Scary Movies and they were pure sex jokes so my parents will not see that one with me I rather watch it alone, and I read the synopsis on Monster and it didn’t read anything bad about it but I ever read reviews or comments from people who already saw it.

So there goes cute little Yoli asking her parents if they want to see the movie and they both agreed. BIG MISTAKE.

Did the synopsis said “Homosexuality and graphic sex scenes displayed”? NO

Did the synopsis said the movie was about a prostitute who becomes a lesbian? NO

Did the synopsis said the movie was about a homosexual couple? (Not that I or my parents are against it but it’s uncomfortable to watch with the family) NO

So with all that, we saw the movie.

Did I enjoy it? NO

Did I understand the story? NO

You wanna know what I did when Aileen and Selby had sex for the first time? I got out of the couch and cleaned up my mom’s kitchen, threw out the garbage and fixed some more munchies.

It was horrible!

From now own I am definitely going to have to read comments, watch the movie myself before them and if it’s suitable for families to view then I will allow my parents to watch it with me. I’m a good daughter aren’t I?

The End

Happy Monday Everyone!

Friday, October 08, 2004

Friday Quickie!

What ever…

Yesterday I paid in full all the time I owed my company. My time off is at 5:30 pm and I got out of there at 7:30 pm. You will say “Yoli doesn’t hold that much” Yes I do, but if I stay over time just to stay over time it kicks right on my grumpy nerve. I stayed over time for nothing, I finished all my work by 6:00 pm and I was about to leave when one of the workers in here said, “oh you can’t leave yet, we still need to add 15 layouts to your presentation, and I’m in layout #5”.

I almost fainted, so I had to stay 1 and half hours there doing nothing, I was really, really green of anger to the point of turning purple.

So just for that, I am leaving early today, my boss is at corporate doing the presentation I fixed for him yesterday so that means he’s not coming back today, which means I get to do what ever I want today, which means I am off at 4ish almost 5ish. Hurray for me!

In your face Nutter Industries!

Happy Friday Everyone!

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

I think I’m gonna geddit!

Freaky ass weather…

I’ve been trying to get away from the flu since the weather changed last week. Suddenly from one day to the other, we were at 100 degrees and the next day we went down to a 75, and it’s been up and down ever since.

Last week I spend one whole day sneezing my brains out until I think I sneezed the germ out too and the sneezing was gone. Last night the same, I started feeling a little bit cold and dizzy, last night as much as I snuggled under my boyfriend’s arm I could not get myself any warmer and I was awake since 4 am. This morning I got out with an itchy nose and a weird scratchy throat, so this mean the germ attacked me again while I was sleeping, why didn’t anybody told me?

I’m not sneezing, I just feel shivery and scratchy and it’s getting me on my nerves now. Actually I am completely grouchy today, so nobody should talk to me.

My mom sells food as a hobby, she makes what ever you want her to fix you and she’s an excellent cook by the way. My whiny co-worker knew about my mom so she asked for some food for today, I gave her the dish and where is the money? Still in this woman’s pocket of course, I saw her coming and going in and outside my office like 10 times this morning and every time she saw me she said “I’ll pay you right now” (typical Mexican sentence by the way which should never be trusted not even to your closest family members). Yeah right!

I’m great at asking for my stuff back, to the point that nobody owes me anything, not even a paper clip. So with this gift that god has given me as soon as I saw her coming back I said to her “Ok, are you going to pay me with the exact amount or do you need change, because I don’t have change and I need to look for it” to which she replied, “Oh no I have here” “Ok, then I’ll go with you right now to get the money”. And so she had to give me the money because I was so stuck to her like a tick I did not get away from her not even a second.

Of course that made me feel more grumpy; oh well, people will have to deal with me as I am.

But I’m not getting green yet, though I ate green chillis for lunch.

Happy Tuesday Everyone!



Monday, October 04, 2004

Anniversaries My ^$$!

I don’t know why ours always suck…

I have no idea how on earth every celebration I share with my boyfriend are always disastrous, but they always are. I remember our first Valentines Day, I planned a very romantic dinner, unfortunately that day my boyfriend also finished the paper work for my current car which I bought that same day; the day since early morning was horrible with lots of obstacles but I got the car and a big migraine for a bonus, my boyfriend had a hard day at work too; we got home at around 11:30 pm and both were exhausted and very hungry so I didn’t cancel the dinner, I made crepes with mushroom dressing with nice decorations, when I took the crepes over the table I found my boyfriend snoring on the couch, he didn’t wake up until the next morning.

The second valentine didn’t end up as bad as the first one but it was also weird and not as I thought I planned it. You know, the naughty things I hear on TV I thought I would do it too, so I bought whip cream, fruit, marshmallows and some drinks. It came up my boyfriend is lactose intolerant and I didn’t know that and the whip cream was made out of cow milk and well, I ended up with stomach pain from too much sweet.

Our first anniversary I gave my boyfriend a nice watch, which 2 days later he dropped by accident, the machinery inside was broken and there went the gift.

My boyfriend forgot my birthday two years ago, so you can imagine how that went.

This year, our anniversary passed, I had nice suggestions from Momlady, boo, and Joel, so I tried all three.

Momlady suggested me to have a bow on myself and be mushy and romantic; I’m not Ms. Romance but I thought what the heck.

Joel said a foot rub and a back massage, I always give my boyfriend back rubs and foot massages because of his difficult job in his company, but still I could put some spice in there so I thought of something nice to accompany the bow and the body massages.

Boo gave me a thought of pampering the boyfriend and being romantic, and of course I thought of lots of things.

I called my boyfriend later in the afternoon to double check if he would come early so nothing would destroy the night and good thing I called. My boyfriend brought the recovered car back to the house along with the other car he said he would pass me and that car would be driven by no other but his nephew who stayed over for the night.

So there, my anniversary went away, no bow, no massage, no dinner and no nothing.

I think I'm cursed with this guy.

Happy Monday Everyone!

Friday, October 01, 2004

Rootie Tootie Fresh and Fruity Friday Quickie!

Took me years of practice to learn how to say that...

Yesterday afternoon out of my boredom as I didn't have any work work to do because my boss was out of the office I went "Googling" around, I wrote "Yoli" on the search bar and found twenty something pages about me. I discovered I have like 20 beauty parlors, 3 butcher shops, 2 coffee shops, I am a famous musician and actress, a famous athlete, I have like 10 porn web sites and at the very bottom was my weblog.

The Google search engine I have at work is in spanish so my weblog had the text of "translate this page" right next to it, and well I hit the little button and my blog was all translated into spanish, though it didn't make any sense and actually sounded hilarious I am not able to share that with you but I will try and do my best to show you how it would sound like to have my blog translated from spanish to english.

This is the description of my blog at the bottom of the title Egg Yol!

Egg Yol!
Splat one egg in the floor and what do you obtain? Now splat I in am above and what do you obtain? No you even cause on the attempt, if you do it, Me hit the egg yolk with the foot of you. Grace of me while I am pleasant!

If that's how I really sound like to you, someone shoot me in the head please

Happy Friday Everyone!

Thursday, September 30, 2004

92 Days Left For 2005!

I wouldn’t mind if the world didn’t go round that fast you know I’m not in a hurry to be 26…

Boy that sentence was long!

Did I mention my boyfriend found his last stolen car? No? Well he did (hurray), is not miraculous though but for us it was, I mean, two months before the other car was stolen and never was recovered although I have told my boyfriend we should go around the junk yards in Mexico and look for it, hm, little piece by little piece till we complete the car? It doesn’t sound that bad you know.

The US police reported the car found exactly 5 days after the car was stolen, of course the police sent a post mail notification so it took another 3 days to deliver, well anyway, he didn’t know until Wednesday of last week, the car was intact, not one little scratch on it, just the locks were screwed up along with the ignition but who cares? He’s got his car back, boyfriend is happy, I am happy ‘cause I have a new car now hehe, he’s passing me the one he just bought and my crappy old car which had a weird stick shift complex although its automatic is going to be passed to my parents, and my parents, well, they’re happy too ‘cause they’re getting a “new” car…my crappy old car. So I guess this year is going to end up in good shape, which was about time.

I mean, since last year things haven’t been so nice for me since I got out of my favorite perfect job to end up in a crappy joint with a crappy boss until I found Nutter Industries, I can’t complain about this job, except for the automatic flushing toilets, they’re still giving me a hard time when I’m still sitting there and suddenly I feel air refreshing my tooshie, I still can’t get used to that though; oh and the automatic sinks, can’t they lower the pressure on those things? I get showered all over my clothes every time I wash my hands.

My boyfriend and I will be 1 year of living together and 2 years of relationship so I guess I should plan something nice, though I have no clue of what to give him; it will definitely not be a material thing because I know he’ll loose it right away and I will only find the bow and the wrapping paper where I put the thing I gave him so I am not going to give him that, but it should be something else, or should I just give him a bow and wrapping paper as a gift? He never looses those.

Any suggestions?

Happy Thursday Everyone!









Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Happy New F. Year!

F. Stands for Fiscal, don’t get me wrong…

For those who work in manufacturing companies or similar to that, Happy New Year. It is the time when we all make new promises where we will reach efficiency over the 120%, when all rejects should reach “0”, when the new budget is cut so low it says we shall not use more than 2 pieces of 1 ply toilet paper what ever the circumstances are. The time when we prepare for our two week Christmas shut down and corporate says we are still low on production which means no Christmas bonus or salary pay while we are shut down.

Oh yeah? Well F. you Nutter Industries!

In other news…

I had a family reunion last Sunday, it was chaotic; I never saw so many members of my family together in one house, and worst, never saw any member of my family connecting with members of my boyfriend’s family before. People ask, “Does this mean this relationship is officially official?” I don’t F. think so, Ii means I’m just being nice with my boyfriend who wanted to bring his sisters and their families to my house and cook some weirdo greasy meals for my parents and myself, but I didn’t let them get away with it, so I converted the hideous lunch into a “Meet my boyfriend’s weird family” reunion and it worked out fine, though it was not perfect.

As expected, my boyfriend’s family didn’t want to eat our meals as they come from another country which means another custom which means another culture which means another taste in food, food we western people don’t find very attractive just by looking at it and I think they say the same about our own food. No we didn’t have “Tacos de Carne asada” or “Roll Taquitos” or “Chicken fajitas” or any of those dishes they serve in “Taco Bell” I mean we ate real Mexican food, we ate “Mole” and it was delightful, the best I’ve eaten since my mom last cooked it when I was 12.

So while my family was enjoying the last little spot of Mole in the dish, my boyfriend’s family was just staring at us enjoying our meal. I did invite them to eat but they just made this weird “yucky” face when they saw the plate; I think that means no in all the languages right?

Despite the other part of the family didn’t eat anything and left my house with just one piece of fruit in their stomachs, they were very happy they met everyone else, and were invited for another family reunion lunch in the near future.

What’s for lunch you say?

*Making Yucky Face* Sheep heads (A Persian delight)

Happy Tuesday Everyone!

Thursday, September 23, 2004

Changing Flats 1.1!

If there were a course I would take one…

I read Prestbury’s diary yesterday and it came to my mind, no is not boring to change a flat tire, more if it ‘s from a car.

Not too long ago when Yoli got her very first car she had her very first flat tire in the middle of a small road, it was about 9:00 pm (I worked over time that day) a few blocks away from home when I heard a big “Boom”, my car’s wheel was all weird and wiggly and the car bumped and bumped until I pulled over the road.

I remembered my dad told me before I bought my car that I should be prepared for anything unexpected and flat tires were always unexpected, so my dad gave me a little course on how to change a tire, I saw every little thing he did, how he took out the bolts and how he moved that screw driver but I never had a change to really change one tire. But I was not to worry as I knew how to change a tire already because I saw my dad one time changing one and it looked pretty easy deal to do.

So the unexpected came unexpectedly for me at the wee hours when all the tire shops are closed, or any thing that looked similar to a business was also closed and very few people was walking by that little road a few blocks away from home. So I say to myself:

No biggie, I’ll change my own tires, I know how to change one!

And so the game began. To start I had to open the trunk, easy thing to do, then, I had to take the spare tire out of its compartment inside the trunk, piece of cake. Then, I had to take the spare tire out of the trunk, just clear things out in here, my spare tire was not that tinny puny little tire, oh no, it was a regular tire that I bought as a spare, so it was as heavy as the rest of the other tires. Well, to be honest, it took me about 10 minutes to take that tire out of the trunk because it was too damn heavy. I forgot to mention I was wearing my uniform and that uniform was a beige cashmere executive suit by the way. Anyhoo, I finally took the tire out of the trunk, by then my energies were drained and I could barely breathe but I took out the damn tire, I didn’t notice until I rolled the tire over where the flat was when I discovered my beige cashmere suit was no longer beige, now it was black with tire marks all over it, well, there goes my uniform and a good expensive pay to the cleaner.

No problem, the worst is over I thought, but the nightmare was about to get juicy as I proceeded to change the tire. So I get my jack and begin pumping the little thing, over and over and over and over, scratching my hands and nails as the little thing hit the floor then I remembered I had to loose the bolts in the tire before I could lift the car, so there I went again pumping the little thing backwards, that was easier. So I get the crossed screw driver and put it in the first bolt and I twist…it was hard, so I twist some more, the screw driver is not moving but the flat tire was; it came to my head one time my had tightened the bolts in the car so much he had to jump over the screw driver to loosen the bolt, and that’s what I decided to do, so I hop in screw driver and make a small jump over it, it didn’t loose the bolt but it did loose the heel in my shoe…bad idea.

I tried, and tried, tried so hard to take that freaking bolt out of the tire until I got really tired, then I tried with the other bolts but I was so weak by then my hands were not responding.

It was frustrating and I had no other choice but to call dad to come and pick me up and help me change the flat, I mean, I was just a few blocks away. So I dialed my dad’s phone number and the line is busy, ok I said, he will hang up for sure in a few minutes, in the mean time I kept trying to loose those bolts but it was useless.

I called my dad again and the line was still busy, by then it was about 10:30 pm and I still couldn’t loose those bolts, my dad was on the internet and didn’t see it was too late and I was not home yet. A few minutes later my dad calls in, but my cell phone is running out of charge so I have to speak fast with him to tell him where I was, luckily I gave him the instructions half way but my dad found me anyway.

My dad was in shock when he saw me, with my hair all messed up, with tire marks all over my suit, my face was black and a broken shoe, he said “What happened to you? Did you get ran over by a car? I said no, I am trying to change a tire!!!

My dad helped me out and in less than 5 minutes the flat was on the truck and we were heading up home to have me washed from tire stains.

So you see ladies who are reading this post, it is very difficult for a girl to change a flat tire, those bolts are too tight and definitely I have no strength, I think I should go to the gym first and pump some iron before I can pump the jack and change a tire all by myself.

Moral of the story, women should know anything about cars, who knows, maybe something unexpected might happen, like me.


Happy Thursday Everyone!

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

Year End Nightmare!

And the counting begins…

If some of you work in a manufacturing industry you will know the pain and the agony of the end of year inventory, I simply hate it. Yesterday afternoon I was very happy blogging around when I heard the supervisor we are not going to have production day on Friday due to inventory; my hair pulled itself up and I thought to myself, I’m in the production area, I am going to get chosen to be on the counting team, what if I just call in sick? And as predicted, I was chosen alright, but not to count parts and screw and little thingies no, no, no, I am part of the “Tag Entry” team, hurray for me! That means, all those slaves will come in early and count and count and count some more stuff and me, I’ll just put the information in the computer just as it comes in a little tag, that’s the easiest part of the job, but the worst comes when you get a hold of hundreds of tags to entry and you’re not finish, the counting team and the auditors are gone home and the tag entry people are still entering information in the system until, god knows when. That’s the scary part. Good for me, I don’t have to worry about that, I’m a fast at typing so probably I’ll get out of there soon enough or maybe I’ll end up entering the rest of the tags as the other girly morons with loooong nails are not done and the supervisors give me all their work, then all those girly snakes will leave home early and I will be stuck in here doing their job…Oh hell no!

I didn’t though about that.

Hm…what to do…what to do, should I type fast so I can finish faster, but that will mean I’ll have to help with the data entry of the un-efficient office girlies with long nails; or should I just type, regular, calmly and slowly? But then people will call me un-efficient.

I’m not Un-Efficient! I am Super-Efficient !

I am Super Yoli!

Tah dah dah daaah tah daahhh!
Happy Humpday Everyone!

Monday, September 20, 2004

Gollum

Gollum

If I were a character in The Return of the King, I would be Gollum, a Stoor and the ancient ring bearer who had the One Ring before Bilbo.

In the movie, I am played by Andy Serkis.

Who would you be?
The Return of the King Test with Perseus Web Survey Software



I knew I am a weird thing!
Hurray!!

A new day…a new house…a new worry!

Now I need new furniture…

Moved out of that old crappy place last Thursday and believe me, it wasn’t pretty; if you stay too long in one place be sure you’ll be filled with lots of crap you don’t need and that’s what happened to me, I had to throw away half of the house I was living in because there was bunch of junk I forgot I ever had until I started packing and it was something like this:

“Uh, look, my old elementary school year book…man I was so fat…and ugly…ok, no time to look at it so I’ll just throw it away”

“I didn’t know I had a can opener and it was under the sink all along”

I have a meat grinder??!!!”

“Where did this big spoon come from?”

“Oh look my Winnie the pooh cup”

“My ankle holder I found it…after so many years…Uh my snow boots…and my bunny ear covers”

I found many other things, except my joint ointment and my massage oil…damn things!

We spent exactly 13 hours moving and we were poofed, and we spent all weekend putting everything in place; before I needed room to put all my stuff, now I need things to cover all the empty spaces I have in this new house, like for example, a new living room, a couple of night stands, 2 or 3 tables, one carpet, two hight chairs. So beware people, Open house coming soon.

The only thing I need to finish up and it’s more like an emergency than a need, is that carpet in my room to be washed, it’s so dirty I can actually see all the strange human dust mites walking over it, it gives me the creeps, so probably I’ll finish up with that today, hell right now, well as soon as I get off from work.
So I feel extremely tired, sleepy, achy and I’m planning this weekend should be very quiet, so quiet I am not going to get out of bed for anything, so don’t ring my bell because I’m home!

Thursday, September 16, 2004

Mexican Independence Quickie!

Yes, a quickie because I have a day off tomorrow so for me is like Friday so here it goes…

The whole week was a mess, my boyfriend’s new car was stolen last Monday night…again, now we are sure is the neighbor up stairs who is bugging us so I’ll file a lawsuit against her, of course, once I move out of there…

Moving out? When? How? Why?

Reason is posted above, we had it with this insecure place, I’m moving out tomorrow…yes I know it’s too fast but it’s for the best of all of us, otherwise the neighbor up stairs is going to get us into bankruptcy with all those cars stolen!

How? I don’t know, I don’t have a car, my boyfriend has it to go to work, so I have no way to make trips with small things as I am moving away just a few blocks down the street, but don’t tell anyone, is a secret!

In other news…

We were invited as VIP guests for the our Independence day celebration last night for the “Grito de Independencia” which in English would be something like the yelling for Independence, I wanted to see the whole scene but we were late because we went to see the new apartment we are moving now and I saw millions and millions of cockroaches so I had to get bug spray and kill them all. Anyway, we only got to see the fireworks and a little bit of the war band; lots of people; lots of mess; lots of garbage and lots of human mites, it gave me the creeps, so we ran out of there as soon as the fireworks ended, which was after 15 minutes we got there.
Happy Thursday for you and Looong weekend for me!

Monday, September 13, 2004

Where did I leave my brain?

I remember I left it here somewhere…

That’s what would happen if I didn’t have my head stuck to my neck and my brain inside my freaking head. I’ve been loosing things a lot lately and it’s getting me on my nerves now.

Not too long ago I had near my night table a little bottle of massage oil and one joint ointment, last week I wanted to use it because my boyfriend was in a lot of pain from his neck to his knee and when I wanted to get those two…where are they? We searched around the house, under the bed, in the bathroom, in the kitchen, in the trash cans, in the fridge and nothing, not a trace of them. I felt worried, concerned and most of all angry because they were brand new, I just bought those and now they’re lost? One of two things must’ve happened.

#1 In the middle of the night while I was sleeping I must have slapped them with my arm and they dropped inside the little trash basket I have by my bed, or

#2 These little things grew tiny feet and ran away from home.

Last Friday I wanted to take my CD case home so I could listen to some music while I cleaned around the house. I remember very well taking the CD case with me on the way out, but I don’t remember taking them home and I completely forgot about it until this morning when I wanted to play some music. I opened my desk drawer and my CD case was gone, I was worried to a certain point because for a minute I thought someone stole it until I remembered I was carrying it with me to the car, but after that I don’t recall carrying the CD Case inside the house. I searched inside the car like crazy, and it wasn’t there. For sure they must be in the house, but where? I don’t remember seeing the CD case in the house anywhere, I would have remembered right? Even if I forgot all about it, when I see the CD case over some table I would remember, “Oh I brought my CD Case” but that wasn’t the “case”. One of two things must’ve happened.

#1 I didn’t bring it and forgot to take it from my desk and left it all alone and someone took it

#2 I took it with me on the car but on the way home the CD case grew little feet and jumped from the car committing suicide while I was driving on the road.

Last night, we were having dinner and we got thirsty, I went to the fridge to get some juice, after pouring the juice in the glass I took the bottle of juice and placed it inside the glass counter instead of putting it back inside the fridge.

I don’t know I wasn’t really paying attention.

And don’t ask me how many times have I lost my car and house keys and they were on my hand all along.

Happy Monday Everyone!

Friday, September 10, 2004

Iiiiinteresting!

Scale (%) results:
Enneagram Test Results
Type 1 Perfectionism85%
Type 2Helpfulness41%
Type 3Image Focus50%
Type 4Hypersensitivity53%
Type 5Detachment88%
Type 6Anxiety89%
Type 7Adventurousness29%
Type 8Aggressiveness70%
Type 9Calmness69%
Your main type is 6
Your variant is social
Take Free Enneagram Personality Test


Now these kinds of tests I like to take...I'm a 6.... yei!

It’s Friday…and it’s a quickie!

But not that kind of quickie of course…

No I haven’t been busy; I’ve been lazy, that’s why I have not posted anything all week.

It came the time to pay my rent to mother nature and I am extra grouchy today so everything that stands in front of me is a pain in the toosh.

These are the things that bugged me the most all week…

My coworker doesn’t stop complaining about how deficient is everybody but she’s the saver of the day, ‘cause she’s the goddess of all goddess.

My coworker has been whining how everybody is so “Naco” and she’s the only one in this company with class, ‘cause she’s the goddess of all goddess.

My coworker has not stopped “eating people alive” behind her back, everybody are idiots, asses, ho’s and hoochie mamma’s, except for her, ‘cause she’s the goddess of all goddess.

I’ve been shutting my mouth all this time but I am not in the mood to listen to this woman today, I’ll just tell her to shut up with her big pink purse she never stops using even when she’s wearing clothes that don’t match.

The worst thing someone can do to me is call me more than once a day…My parents have been calling me at work 2 times every 10 minutes or so and it’s driving me insane. Someone shut my phone off please!
Happy Friday Everyone!

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

Yoli Phone Home!

Auuuu…

I must be an alien, I know, I must be some sort of mutant from outer space who was dumped in this planet. I’m not human, with no human feelings, I’m a Monster I know it and I’m ashamed.

It’s been a week now since my parents came back to stay and I’m already asking for a time out. Am I a bad daughter? Hope not. I’ve always asked for my own space, I mean my OWN space, and my own space is a big space as big as space itself, but ever since my parents are here I have been visiting them every single day after I get off from work; I barely have time for myself or my boyfriend anymore, my house is a mess, I’m most of the time sleepy and I can’t watch my favorite TV programs.

Yesterdays my parents told me they would go visit a friend today, so I thought “hurray for me I’ll have time for myself now woo hoo” I was making plans to stay at home and do some things I needed to have done and while I was at it get some rest and some me time for myself, but no, I called my parents this morning and they asked me what was I going to do after I got off from work and my response was “nothing, I still don’t know” to where the big mistake began…

Dad: Oh goodie, ‘cause I’m in the mood for ice cream

Me: Nice…

Dad: I’ll pitch you one, let’s go

Me: Aren’t you going to your friend’s today?

Dad: Yes, but that’s this morning, we’re not going to stay all day over there, so how about if we go get some ice cream at Tepoznieves huh? We can meet there or some place else.

Me: (Dought!) sure….I guess…

Dad: Or do you have anything to do? (with a really mysterious voice….it was a spooky voice)

Me: Uh…eh…nooo, of course not, uh, but it’s kind of far away don’t you think? And I have to get home to fix my laundry and some other stuff I need to get done.

Dad: Oh you’re right, and you have to work

Me: Yeah, and I don’t want to rush things and spoil the moment; we can go on Friday if you want (grins)

Dad: Ok sounds good, well, if you’re going to your home then we can meet there, hey we can keep you company while you’re doing your laundry, and after you’re done we can stop by a coffee shop and get some coffee to go and watch the sunset at the beach, wouldn’t it be fun?

Me: (Somebody shoot me!) Eh…yeah….weehee (boo hoo).

An there goes my “me time”

Who to blame? I don’t know, it’s been a year since I last saw my parents and now that they’re here….Man! This is heavy stuff.

If I ever want to say no to somebody I just can’t, well, I can very easily with people I have no relation or I simply don’t want to relate or definitely with people I simply don’t care about even if they’re my friends or close family members. But I just can’t say no to 4 people, those are my parents, my best friend and my boyfriend. The no just comes out like….

Nnnnn….nnnnoot a problem! With a big smile and imagining myself banging my head to a wall.

I just can’t help it, I’m too nice and chicken hearted to say no and look at their little faces turn sad.

Dammit I hate being so mushy sometimes!

Happy Tuesday Everyone!

Friday, September 03, 2004

1st. Friday Quickie of the Month!

And there will be many more...

As a tribute to my grouchiness today I am wearing my official grouch lothing...My Oscar the Grouch T-shirt.

Don't bother me, I'm in my regular grouchy mood like every other month I should because that's the only way I can reveal myself against those who are not in the same mood as I am, that is, everybody's happy except for me.

What did I just say and why? I don't know and I don't care.

For my fellow american readers (I'm starting to sound like Bush now) I wish you all a happy labour day and Viva la Vida Loca. (Now I'm starting to sound drunk and It's only noon)

Here's a little petition to our fellow neighbors who will plan to visit our beaches in this labor day weekend:

Please don't polute my country as it is already filled with trash, I know it already looks like a dumpster but please don't help us, we have enough with our own trash already.

Women, if you're going to flash your boobs out to our mexican citizens please show some good ones as I have seen some that need some lifting and is quite gross (I've heard Aloe Vera makes wonders).

Men if you're thinking of catching a good tan then do it somewhere people won't see, beer bellies don't look nice especially if they're extremely hairy (I've heard hot wax and a lipectomy makes wonders)

Please drive safely as some of us do not own cars with car insurance and if you hit us you will simply leave us with no other transportation but our own feet as many of our cars are yunked.

This petition is in the name of if not all but a few of the Mexicans who live in the border of California.

The Mexican Tourism Board invites you to visit Mexico.

All the Margaritas you can drink during happy hour 7 am to 9 am. Kids free with 2 adult admission to any of our table dance locations includes one lap dance by the fat lady in the corner. Free hair breed with the purchase of 5 family size burritos. First 100 customers will receive one rear view mirror hanging size sombrero of any color. Free horn change to "la cucaracha" beat with the purchase of 1 car alarm $100 USD or over. Offer good by 9/6/04 or while supplies last.

Happy Friday Everyone!